Sometimes All You Need Is A Little Faith
by Diva Danielle
Summary: Raphael has never felt anything but contempt for the human race, until the day a fight with his brother starts a chain of events that will end up both confirming and challenging his beliefs as he meets someone who forces him to face his own humanity.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Ok, so I've been working on this story for a while. To be honest, I'm actually rather nervous about posting it. It's alot darker and more serious than my other stories, hence the rating. I've really tried to get into the heads of the turtle's, rather than write something, fluffy, adventurous and fun. Generally I don't get a lot of feedback, not really a problem as I generally only write for enjoyment and to give people a fun read. Yes, I know, I'm an emotional sucker, can't help it. But, for some reason, this story means alot to me. I'm actually quite proud of the way it's panning out. So I'm kinda nervous about the reactions, or lack of reactions. But you know what they say, if you don't try, you'll never know, so I've decided to post the first bit. See what you guys think of it. As I said, it's only the first bit, but there will be further chapters to this story, if it proves to be something you'd really like to read. That's the whole point really of being here on fanfic isn't it. To write and read something you enjoy. On that note, I'll stop twittering on and leave you to actually read the chapter. Rated M for swearing and adult themes.**

**Disclaimer: I obviously don't own any characters from TMNT, they belong to their own respective and genius creators. :-) **

"Fuck you Leo!" The red-banded turtle growled, twirling his sai between his fingers.

The blue-banded turtle eyed his younger brother contemptuously. His Katana drawn, ready for the fight. "What's the matter Raph? Don't like to be told the truth?"

Another growl sounded deep in the younger turtle's throat.

"You think you're better than me?"

"I am better than you!"

He shouldn't have said it. He knew that the second the words left his mouth. But Raphael just had a way of crawling under his skin. Pushing his buttons till reason and sense no longer mattered to him.

Leonardo lifted his Katana, readying his stance for his brother's attack.

With a snarl of rage, Raph threw himself on Leo. Weapons clashed, metal against metal. Another desperate attempt between the two to prove who the more superior was. Only this time, Raphael had had enough. Endless years of fighting with his older brother. Resentment, anger.

His feelings bubbled once more to the surface. His rage taking over.

Leo struggled, fending off his younger brother's attacks, but slowly finding it harder and harder to do so. He'd been locked in battles like this many times with the hot-headed turtle.

"You mean nothing to me! You hear me!" Raph roared, gaining the upper hand as his sai locked with Leo's Katana.

Raphael's statement momentarily shocked the blue-banded turtle to the core. It was all his younger brother needed to gain the upper hand. With one swift swipe of his leg, he knocked Leo off his feet and onto his shell. Standing over him breathing hard, he glared down at his leader.

The oldest brother eyed him warily, his pride rebelling. "I guess now we know where we stand." He said evenly.

Raph's eyes narrowed. "What the fuck's that supposed ta mean!"

Slowly getting to his feet, his eyes never leaving the angry turtle's face, he spoke clearly. "The feeling's mutual bro!"

"Hey, just say the word and I'm gone!"

"You need my permission? Fine! Get the fuck out of here!" Leo yelled suddenly, his anger returning.

A strange look flashed behind Raph's eyes, though whether it was because of his statement or his rare use of a swearword; Leo couldn't tell.

"Don't push it fearless! You'd miss me once I was gone!"

"Miss what exactly! You're constant foul moods! You arguing with everything I say! You're misguided belief that you're somehow better than me!" He took a dangerous step forward. "I wouldn't bet on it! If anything, I'd be glad! So go on! Leave!"

There was another snarl and Leo felt Raph's fist connect heavily with his jaw. He'd never even seen the attack coming.

"You'll regret that Leo!" The angry turtle hissed, turning on his heel and storming out the lair.

There was a pause. A feeling of disbelief. Leo couldn't understand what had happened. They had been fighting, nothing new there. They always fought, only this time, Raph had seemed more agitated, angrier than usual. As for himself, Leo couldn't understand how he had risen to the bait. He had known, deep down, his younger brother hadn't meant his harsh words, even though they had cut through him, he'd known. Then why had he responded? Why hadn't he taken the high road and just walked away? It would have been easier for him to forget the harsh words. Words never did mean anything to Raph. They were just empty things, never holding any true meaning.

Leonardo sighed, slowly getting to his feet once again. His eyes fixed on the lair's exit, through with his brother had disappeared. He'd never told any of his brothers to get out. Even as he'd said the words, he'd felt something tug at him, heard a voice warning him he was going to far, but he hadn't been able to stop. Why had he said that? To Raph of all turtles. There was something strangely funny about the situation. The one order Raph had ever obeyed without question and it had been one Leo didn't mean.

"Dammit!" Leo exclaimed vehemently, rushing toward the lair's exit. "Raph! Raph wait! I didn't mean it! I didn't…"

The blue-banded turtle looked round the sewers. He wasn't there. He couldn't have gone far though. Something whispered inside him to go find his brother. Make his peace now. Again, his pride rebelled. No. He'd wait for the hothead to cool off. There would be time later for mumbled words of apologies and nods of acceptance. Jutting out his chin, he turned back to the lair, only to be greeted by the pale faces of his other two brothers.

"Erm…is everything ok?" Donatello asked carefully.

Leo looked into his gentle brother's face, noticing the pained expression lurking in the depths of his eyes hidden partly by his purple mask.

"Everything's fine Donny." The blue-banded turtle attempted to sound reassuring.

"Only we heard you guys fighting and…" The purple-banded turtle trailed off, glancing quickly at his youngest brother.

"You told Raph to leave." Michelangelo chipped in, his normally cheeky face pale and horrified.

"Yeah well…" Leo flushed slightly "…he was asking for it. That hothead has a serious attitude problem."

"But…you've never told him to leave." The orange-banded turtle whispered, gulping suddenly.

The oldest brother flushed again. Mikey was right. No matter what happened or how angry Raph made him, he'd never told him to leave. Again he berated himself. Why had he risen to the bait? Why hadn't he just let it go?

"Don't worry Mikey. I'll straighten things out with him when he gets back. Everything will be ok. I promise." He said, looking affectionately at his youngest brother. His words seemed to bring some comfort to the happy go lucky turtle. Mikey grinned suddenly, not as wide a grin as he usually gave, but a grin none the less.

"Yeah, ok. You're right. Raph just needs some time to cool off. He wouldn't really leave."

His grin widening slightly, he seemed satisfied by that thought. He bounced over to take up his usual position on the couch. Grabbing the remote, he flicked on the TV, flicking through channels.

Donny stayed put, guarded eyes resting on his oldest brother. "You sure everything will be ok?"

"Don't worry Don. Like I said, Raph just needs some time to cool off."

"Yeah but…he usually only leaves cause he wants to, not because you tell him too."

Something twisted in Leo's gut. "It's Raph, when has he ever listened to a word I say. He'll be back soon, ready to fight again. Count on it."

Donny nodded his head slowly. "Ok Leo but…can I ask you one question?"

The blue-banded turtle tilted his head enquiringly at his younger brother.

"Are you trying to convince us he'll be back? Or yourself?" With that, the purple-banded turtle walked away from his brother, leaving Leo with the distinct feeling he'd just been punched in the gut.

* * *

Outside, the rain pelted down heavily on the red-banded turtle's head as he jumped from one rooftop to the next. His chest was heaving, sweat poring off his brow, mingling with the rain. He was still fuming. Who the hell did Leo think he was? How dare he tell him to get out. Well, he'd show his fearless leader. Let's just see how long his precious brother could survive without him there constantly watching his back.

On and on, Raph raced, panting heavily. There was a stitch in his side, screaming at him to slow down, take deep breaths, but he ignored it.

Raph wasn't sure how far he'd run, or even where he was running too and it didn't matter. All that mattered now was putting as much distance between himself and the lair as he could.

There was a loud boom overhead as the sky was lit suddenly by a jagged flash.

Raph's scowl deepened. It looked like the heavens mirrored his mood. For some reason, that wasn't a comforting feeling.

Finally after what seemed like hours, Raphael could no longer ignore the pain. He slowed to a stop; clutching a hand to his side, he took deep breaths. He looked round, satisfied to see he'd come quite a way.

Still clutching his side, he sank down, pulling his knees up against his plastron. Feelings started to rush through him. Feelings of regret, anger, disappointment in himself.

He hadn't meant what he'd said to Leo. Of course his brother meant something to him. All his family did. He loved his family, though he'd rather die first than ever admit it, especially to Leo. But, no matter how he tried to deny it, they were all he had in this twisted world. Ever since the day he'd stopped being a mere turtle and started being…whatever it was he was. Not really turtle, not really human.

The red-banded turtle sighed, dropping his head down onto his knees. He hated this. Hated his own humanity. It made things too difficult, too complicated. Sometimes, it made things almost unbearable for him.

A frustrated cry tore from his throat as he raised his eyes to the sky, welcoming the heavy rain fall. At least that was something he could recognise. Not have to sit and dwell on for hours. It was rain, it was simple.

_I'd be glad! So go on! Leave!_

"Fuck!" He swore loudly. That had hurt. His brother's words had cut through him.

Raph realised he probably shouldn't have baited his blue-banded brother the way he had, but it was just too damn tempting at times. Wiping the smug, arrogant look off his leader's face gave him a certain satisfaction. Only once again, Leo had won. Leo had managed to gain the upper hand and Raph, like the emotional, fucked up turtle he was, had once again been beaten. He hadn't even managed to think of a retort that would sting his brother as badly as he had been stung. Instead, he'd just obeyed the order and left.

Raphael wasn't sure how long he sat there berating himself, but finally he got up, leapt down to the streets, disappearing into the shadows.

The streets were silent, no humans about, but that didn't stop Raph from being cautious. He bounded swiftly across the street, reaching his target and stood staring down at the man hole cover. His entrance back home. He could almost see Leo's smug face at the victory of seeing Raph crawling back home, tail tucked between his legs, ready to once again, apologise.

Anger rose within him once more. Reckless, consuming rage. No! No fucking way was he going to give Leo the satisfaction. Let his brother sweat for a change. Let his brother know what it would be like without him. Let Leo, come after him for once.

Raising his eyes to the heaven's again, he roared. "Damn you!"

He never even heard the startled cry of fear. The soft pattering of feet coming up behind him, followed by a deafening crack as once again, the sky was lit by lightening. There was a feeling of intense pain, then…everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thankyou Cindy for taking the time to read and review this story :-) You're feedback means alot. If there is anyone willing to beta this story, please feel free to send me a quick pm. As I said, this story means a lot to me. I want to get across the power and emotion behind this story to help you who read it feel the emotion I felt writing it. An extra pair of eyes scanning through and picking up the mistakes I've missed would be greatly appreciated. **

**Disclaimer: I obviously don't own any characters from TMNT :-)**

Leonardo paced the lair. It was gone two in the morning and still there was no sign of his hotheaded brother. His lips pressed into a thin line. How long did it take someone to cool off? On the other hand, was Raph doing this deliberately, trying to prove a point? The thought angered Leo. He was half tempted to just go to bed and pretend he hadn't been waiting up half the night to see his brother had returned home safely. But, he knew he couldn't.

He had sent Don and Mike to bed an hour ago, promising he would stay up until Raph got home in one piece. Where was he?

He'd already called Casey on impulse, checking to see if Raph had decided to crash there that night, but the vigilante had denied seeing him.

Fighting back a sudden wave of fatigue, he prowled over to the couch and flung himself down. The blue-banded turtle stared at the dancing screen, not really registering what movie was playing. What if Raph really had taken his words seriously? What if he had left and decided not to come back?

Leo shook his head at the thought. No! This was Raph. This was his brother and no matter what happened or what was said, they both knew they could count on each other.

_Except you've never told him to leave_. A voice spoke at the back of his mind.

Firmly ignoring the voice, he stood and started pacing again.

Three o clock came and went. Still no Raphael. Dark rims started to expand beneath Leo's eyes. Four o clock came and went. No Raphael.

Exhaustion was slowly engulfing Leo, along with a feeling of panic. What if something had happened to him? Knowing Raph it was a distinct possibility, but one that Leo didn't even want to consider. If something had happened to his hotheaded brother then it was Leo's fault.

Rubbing a weary hand across his brow, he sank to the ground, crossing his legs beneath him in the familiar lotus position and focused his remaining energy on his brother.

"Raph. Come on bro, where are you?"

* * *

A groan erupted from the red-banded turtle's throat as his mind slowly regained its conscious state. He was lying on something cold and hard. It felt oddly uncomfortable against his shell. He twisted slightly, fighting back a yelp as pain flashed through his body.

"What are you?"

Raph froze. The harsh male voice had come from somewhere close by. There was the sound of feet thumping up to him, followed by pain as someone backhanded him sharply across the face.

"I know you can talk! I heard you! What are you, who sent you?"

Clamping his mouth firmly shut, he struggled to open his eyes. Panic engulfed him; he couldn't see a thing. Taking deep breaths to calm himself he focused on his surroundings. Something thick and heavy was wrapped around his head, blindfolding him. Relief washed over him, he wasn't blind, well, that was a start.

Next, he tried to sit, panic engulfing him again as he felt something cold, sharp and metallic pressed against his throat. His wrists and ankles cried out in protest. It took a while for Raph to realise he was tied up.

"Don't move! Don't you dare move! What are you?" The harsh voice hissed close to his ear.

"What's it look like!" The angry turtle hissed back, his courage returning.

Again he was brutally backhanded. Raph felt the cool metallic object running down his arm.

"It looks like you're a freak! A fucking freak that shouldn't even be here!"

The metallic object sliced down into Raph's arm, forcing him to bite back a whimper of pain.

"You're blood is red!"

The angry turtle almost snorted aloud at the comment. No shit! What was he expecting? Green blood to go with his green skin? He felt his throat being gripped tightly, chocking him.

"If you're not going to tell me what you are, then I'll make damn sure I find out for myself! So, are we going to do this the easy way, or the hard way?"

Gritting his teeth, his pride rebelling, Raph refused to answer. The next thing he knew, his body erupted with pain. Hot, blinding pain. Unable to stop himself from crying out, he vaguely caught the sound of approaching feet.

"Stop it! You're hurting him!"

The voice was female, young and sounded terrified. He felt the sharp object leave his body, heard a crash followed by a whimper.

"You're defending that…that thing?"

"Please…" The woman's voice was soft, pleading.

"No! I'll teach that freak what we think of his kind coming here!"

His kind? Mutant turtles were a common occurrence here were they? Raph would have laughed out loud if he hadn't suddenly felt a wave of dizziness wash over him. The pain was unbearable, his body leaking something hot and sticky. Blood? The last thing he was aware of before succumbing to the growing darkness was a faint gasping sound coming from the young woman.

* * *

"Leo?"

The blue-banded turtle grunted as he felt his shoulder shaken roughly.

"Yo, Leo!"

Leonardo opened one groggy eye wincing slightly at the harsh light. His blurry vision vaguely caught side of something orange and green dancing before his eyes.

"Yo Leo, wake up bro. Did Raph get back last night?"

Raph? Leo sat up straight, his mind suddenly clear. Raphael! Their fight. He leapt off the couch, sprinting up the stairs to Raphael's room. Yanking open the door he darted in. Nothing. No sign of the hot tempered turtle. His bed hadn't been slept in. Ignoring the stab in his gut, Leo headed back to his youngest brother.

Mikey's wide-eyed questioning look was almost more than the leader could bear. Unable to form the words, the blue-banded turtle slowly shook his head sadly.

"He's not here? But…you promised. You said he'd be back!" Mikey's voice was rising fast. "You promised!"

"I know I did, but…" Leo tailed off, not really knowing what to say to comfort his youngest sibling. He'd promised him his brother and he'd failed to deliver. He took a deep breath, claming himself, switching back to his familiar leader mode. Leo placed a hand on his brother's shoulder.

"I'll find him Mikey. I'll bring him home, even if I have to drag him kicking and screaming."

"So where do we start?" Donny asked, making his brothers jump. They hadn't heard the purple-banded turtle come into the room. Leo turned to face him shaking his head.

"No Don. Not we, me. I'm the one that told him to leave, remember. This is my fault, so it's up to me to bring him home."

Donatello looked at his leader, his face set. "He's our brother too Leo. We do this together."

Leo was about to argue but stopped himself. He sighed deeply. This was all his fault. If only he hadn't been so damn hotheaded. He could have prevented this from happening.

His thoughts flashed to Raph, wondering where the red masked turtle was, what he was thinking. The twisting feeling in his gut grew to an ache as he raised his hand to ease the growing tension at the back of his neck. He'd slept badly, his neck twisted at an awkward angle. Damn his brother. Damn him and his ability to make Leo lose his cool. Never the less, he should never have said what he'd said. There was no excuse. Raph was his brother and no matter what else, Leo loved him. They had to find him; they just had to.

Nodding his head briefly at his younger siblings, Leo made up his mind then and there. If he had to? He'd beg his brother to come home. His pride could never mean more to him than his family.

* * *

Raph came too once more when he felt soft hands caressing his body. The gentle dripping of warm liquid running over his head and down his arms. There was a new sensation pressing against his shell. After a while, he realised he was no longer lying on a cold, hard surface. He was lying against something springy and warm, his wrists and ankles still bound tightly. Carefully he priced open one eye, to find the blindfold had been removed. He quickly took in his surroundings. He was lying in a room, strapped down to a bed, his wrists and ankles bound, one at each corner.

A young woman, in her early twenties he guessed, sat beside him, completely focused on tending his wounds, running a wet sponge carefully over his head and down his arms.

Raph inhaled sharply as the sponge was moved across his plastron, bringing the young woman's attention to his face.

A scarf, wrapped tightly round her head and face showing only her eyes, covered her own face. Hazel, Raph thought, hazel with tiny flecks of gold in them.

"How are you feeling?" The young woman asked gently.

Raph considered this. He was in pain, no doubt about that. He was also feeling oddly soothed by the gentle pressure and caress of her hands. He turned his head away, trying to remember how he came to end up a prisoner.

The young woman resumed her work.

"This is going to hurt."

Raph's head jerked round again. In her hand, she held a needle and thread. She glanced at him apologetically, before driving the needle through his skin, causing him to yelp with pain and fear, struggling to jerk his body away. He felt something tugging at his skin and realised she was stitching a wound.

Noticing his pain, she tried to distract him. "What's your name?"

Raph turned to face the wall again. After a brief pause, he relented somewhat, releasing some of the tension that had stiffened his body.

"Raphael." He muttered quietly.

"Raphael." She repeated the name softly. "I'm Ruby."

He made no comment.

"I was born in July, my parents named me after my birthstone."

He snorted. There was silence. He chanced a glance in her direction. Her focus was entirely on stitching his wound. As though she sensed him looking, she turned her face to his again.

"I'm sorry."

The statement startled him enough to force him to speak. "What for?"

"For what he did to you."

He snorted again, louder this time.

"He's letting you stitch me up?"

Ruby shook her head. "He doesn't know. I'll probably have to face the consequences, but I couldn't just let you lie here and bleed."

She couldn't? Ok, a human actually caring about his pain, that was new.

"Are you hungry?"

Another pause, while Raph again considered this. Yes, he was hungry. His stomach growled loudly at the thought of food, startling him and bringing a smile to Ruby's lips.

"Wait here."

"Like I gotta choice." Raph retorted.

Something flashed in the young woman's eyes. Regret? Sorrow? He couldn't be sure.

She returned almost instantly, carrying a tray. On it lay a sandwich and a drink. Carefully, she released one of his hands, raising him slightly. He looked from her to the tray and back to her.

"It's safe to eat." She said gently, guessing his thoughts.

Cautiously, he reached out, lifting the sandwich to his mouth and taking a bite. His stomach growled further. He demolished the sandwich in three further bites, washing it down with the drink he discovered was coffee.

There was a low chuckle. Surprised he looked up to see Ruby watching him.

"You really were hungry weren't you."

His rage rose in him. He had the distinct impression she was patronising him. His hand darted out quickly, closing round Ruby's wrist, gripping tightly. She cried out in pain. He brought her close to him, his teeth gritted.

"Let me go!" He hissed.

"I can't." Her voice was filled with fear.

"It weren't a fucking question lady!"

"Please…he'll kill me."

Raph's eyes widened slightly. His hand released her wrist, clutching at the scarf that covered her face. He yanked on it, feeling the thin material give way.

The young woman let out another cry, raising her hands to her face, covering it.

"No!" She cried.

"What's the matter? Scared to show yourself?"

"Yes."

Something was very wrong. Raph could feel it, though he wasn't quite sure why or how he could tell. Carefully, trying not to startle her, he tugged at one hand that covered her face, pulling it forcefully away.

His eyes widened as he looked at her. Tears were rolling down the woman's cheeks, deep scars etched in her face, contorting it. He let go as suddenly as he'd grabbed hold, jerking away from her. His stunned expression gave Ruby the time she needed too quickly tie his hand down again.

She scrambled off the bed, searching for the scarf that had dropped to the floor and running from the room.

Raph lay dazed, his mind reeling. Those scars hadn't seemed natural. Who could have done them to her? He yawned suddenly, surprised by a sudden wave of fatigue that rolled over him. He closed his eyes, still thinking. He saw her eyes, golden eyes smiling kindly at him, then her face, twisted with scars, her eyes again, fearful, pained. Slowly he felt his fatigue take over, her eyes still dancing round his mind as he slipped into a drowsy sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Can I just say a huge thankyou to Mikell for taking the time to beta this story. It means a lot and your guidance is appreciated :-) Also a huge thankyou to Cindy, your guidance and encouragement have helped me feel a bit braver about posting this story, so once again, I thank you. Aly my friend, what can I say. You're always there to offer your support and encouragement. You're my star, you really are. To all of those who have taken the time to read and that little extra time to submit your feedback, thankyou. You'll never know how much it means to know this story is striking a chord :-) Enough with the sappy stuff, usual disclaimer, I don't own any characters from TMNT, I only wish I were that talented ;-)**

Raph groaned softly, opening one eye. His head was pounding, the room spinning. A dense fog swimming behind his eyes.

Raised voices came from the room next to his. One furious, the other pleading.

"Let him go Sean."

"You fool! You really thought I'd let that freak go because _you_ ask me too?"

"He's not a freak. He's a sentient being."

There was a pause. "Sentient? You've been talking to it haven't you. Answer me!"

A loud bang echoed, followed by gentle crying.

"Please, just let him go."

"Have you been talking to it? Answer me!"

"Yes!…Yes I have."

"So, not only have you moved it, taken care of it, but now I find you've actually been speaking to that…that thing!"

"Stop it! You're hurting me!"

"Yes…I see it in your eyes! You're drawn to that freak!"

Another bang, followed by a cry of pain.

"You think you can stop me? I'll find out what that thing is even if I have to take it apart limb by limb!"

Footsteps sounded behind the wall, coming toward him.

"I won't let you hurt him!"

The footsteps stopped suddenly. "What did you just say?"

The pleading voice grew stronger as though fighting for strength. "If you have to do this…whatever it is you're determined to do! You'll do it without hurting him!"

"And how are you going to stop me?"

"I already have! He won't feel a thing!"

The angry voice lowered dangerously. "What have you done?"

"You're right…I can't stop you from doing this. There was once a time when I could have stopped you, but not now and I know that. The only thing I can do and will do is stop you from causing him any more pain!"

The room shook with the following crash, there was a gasping sound, followed by silence.

Raph tried to focus on the voices. His mind desperately trying to make sense of the words. Who were they? More importantly who was the wretched individual they were talking about? He couldn't think. He felt dazed, drained. Unable to make sense of anything as once more the haze behind Raph's eyes started to envelope him. His head swam, trying to regain focus.

Trying desperately to latch onto something, anything that would keep him conscious. He felt himself slipping further and further, his eyes drifting closed, just as the door of the room opened.

* * *

Leo leant against the doorframe, his arms folded in front of him, staring blankly into his brother's room. He'd never felt so helpless, so wracked with guilt.

Downstairs he could hear his other younger siblings bickering. He'd left them to it, after realizing there was nothing he could do to help.

There was a faint tapping sound as Donny's fingers whizzed across his keyboard searching for something, anything that could lead them to Raph. Alien sightings, new vigilante warnings. Anything.

Don had tried locking onto Raph's shell cell signal but after several futile attempts had given up with faint mutterings that sounded like "must be switched off."

Mikey had resumed his regular role of bouncing round his brainy brother, demanding to know if there was any news at least once every few seconds, followed by an irritable groan from Donny who pointed out repeatedly that Mikey breathing down his neck wasn't going to speed the process up.

"Leonardo?"

The blue-banded turtle tensed at the gravely voice behind him.

"It's my fault."

He felt his father's hand descend on his shoulder, turning him gently to face him.

"You are not responsible for your brother's actions.

"I told him to leave."

Splinter's ear twitched slightly, mimicking the same response he'd given when he'd first been told of the fight, the harsh words spoken, followed by the hot-tempered turtle leaving.

"Although I do not approve of the harsh words used, I stand by what I said. You are not responsible for your brother's actions."

"I shouldn't have said it."

"That is true. You should not. However, we cannot undo what has been done. We must now focus on finding Raphael and bringing him home to his family, where he belongs."

Leo's voice was small as he spoke the fear that had gripped him from the moment he discovered Raph's bed empty. "What if he doesn't want to come home? What if…I've ruined whatever tiny bond we had that's kept us together this long?"

Splinter sighed deeply, squeezing his eldest son's shoulder. "For twenty years the four of you have been brothers, you've been sons. Raphael has always been the most conflicted out of you four, but his love for his family has never wavered, on the contrary, it has been the one thing that has kept him going."

Leo blinked hastily as hot tears stung his eyes. A small smile touched the old rat's lips as he mercifully chose to ignore the wetness in Leo's eyes.

"Have faith my son. Raphael may try to deny it, may force himself to believe otherwise, but sooner or later, his unwavering devotion for his family will bring him home to us."

Leo, the leader, the eldest brother had never felt so cut up inside. He longed to be a child once more so he could rush into his father's arms and cry on his shoulder, begging him to make everything ok, but he knew he had to be strong. He had two other brothers that needed him right now. His time for pain, emotion and regret would have to remain locked behind closed doors. Hidden from his family so they could take whatever little strength they could from him. He couldn't let them down more than he already had.

The old rat sensed his train of thought and nodded briefly, his smile growing wider.

"Do not forget Leonardo that I am and always have been a father first. I accepted the responsibilities that go along with that long ago and accept them now. You acted foolishly, said things you did not mean and have now learned from those mistakes. However, we are a family and family suffers hardships together. The only way you could let us down now, is if you lose faith in yourself and more importantly, your brother. I ask you as a father, not a sensei, to reach deep within yourself and hold on to that faith. Hold on to Raphael."

Leo gulped, nodding. Hold on to his brother. He hadn't been doing anything else since Raph disappeared. He could only hope Raph was holding on to him as well.

* * *

A small whimper of pain broke free from his mouth as he slowly regained consciousness. Jesus he hurt. His whole body felt on fire. Something cool pressed against his mouth, forcing him to open his eyes.

Ruby bent low over him, tilting his head slightly toward a glass of cool water. His wary eyes traveled over her face, taking in the scarf that was once again wrapped firmly round her face.

"Drink. It will make you feel better."

His mind was shouting at him to remember something. What was it? It seemed like a distant dream was probing at his mind. He couldn't think, the cool liquid making him groan happily as he drank eagerly, soothing his burning throat. Once more she released one of his hands, clicking open the padlock that kept his chained restraints bound to the bed, letting him take hold of the glass.

This time she made sure to sit well out of his reach. She watched him as he gulped down the water. Stopping only once the last drop was gone. He looked up to find her watching him, something in her eyes making him flush.

Raph looked down at his plastron, trying to figure out why it hurt. He was rather surprised to find it tightly wrapped with gauze. He raised his head, looking into her golden eyes a questioning look written in his own.

Ruby cast him an apologetic look but said nothing.

"Why are you doing this?"

His question startled her.

"I don't understand."

"Why are you keeping me here?"

Ruby sighed, lowering her head. "I'm sorry. I wish I could change it."

"You could let me go."

"He'll kill me if I do."

Raph cocked his head, scrutinizing her thoughtfully.

"You really that scared of him?"

His perception startled her further. She closed her eyes briefly before slowly nodding her head.

He remembered the scars twisting her face and opened his mouth, closing it moments later, deciding against pushing her on them.

"Where would you go?" She asked softly.

He thought for a moment. It was a good question. Where would he go? Was he even wanted back home? Were his brothers even looking for him? Unable to come up with a decent answer, Raph simply shrugged.

"I wish I could help."

"So why don't you?" He muttered bitterly.

Ruby sighed again as she rose from the bed to leave.

"You should get some rest."

Raph's head jerked up suddenly. "Wait."

She waited, hovering by the bedside, still staying out of reach of his one untied hand. He flushed deeply. "Erm…I mean. You know…you can stay. If you want that is."

Ruby glanced at him suspiciously, before slowly lowering herself back down on the bed, carefully staying out of his reach, eyeing him curiously.

Raph sighed. It was too much; his mind was suddenly swimming with painful images of his brothers laughing at him, glad too finally see the back of him. His body still aching. He felt weakened, drained, unable to fight or struggle. It was a disconcerting thought and one that left him with an unwillingness to be left alone.

No matter what else she had done or was doing, the thought of her soft hands easing his pain away was enough to make him want her to stay and help ease his suffering once more. Help keep his mind focused, clear and as far away from that feeling of drained helplessness as possible.

* * *

Opening his weary eyes, the blue-banded turtle tried to ease himself into a sitting position. His head felt too heavy for his neck to support. He looked round, taking in his surroundings, realizing suddenly that he wasn't in his own room.

As the drowsy sleep slowly cleared from his mind, he recognized where he was. He'd fallen asleep in Raph's room, curled up on his brother's bed.

Leo sighed, squinting at the clock beside the bed. Eight o clock. Raph had been missing for over thirty-six hours.

He rubbed his face with his hands, taking deep breaths to calm the wretched feeling in his gut.

Wearily he headed for the door, shuffling slightly as he made his way down the stairs. The lair was unnaturally quiet without the sounds of Raph's raised voice, yelling at Mikey for…well…any reason really. Or laughing out loud with that deep rumbling roar of his as Donny once again amused him by taking something apart, just so he could see how it worked.

Even toward him, his continuous challenging Leo to step up, to try harder, push himself beyond his limits. Arguing with him, challenging his orders, making sure Leo checked and double-checked every option open.

Once again, Leo felt hot tears sting the back of his eyes. He'd never told his brother how much he really depended on him. Appreciated his guidance and support.

Even through times when Leo had doubted himself, Raph had been there, calling his bluff, egging him on in that irritable manner of his until finally, Leo's cool would snap and he'd prove Raph wrong and in doing so, prove exactly what Raph had been telling him all along in his own special way.

He glanced over to the couch, a fond smile touching his mouth as he saw his two youngest brothers curled up tight, one at each end. He wouldn't wake them just yet. They'd worked hard and deserved a rest. They'd all slept in late. Splinter hadn't even woken them for training, probably deciding they needed their rest.

Sighing deeply Leo headed for the kitchen, not really hungry but feeling he should eat something.

It was a quick breakfast, unsatisfying, doing nothing to ease the terrible ache in his gut. Growling in frustration, he quickly washed his dishes and headed for the dojo, determined to release some of the tension inside him.

He wasn't sure quite how long he'd been going through his exercises, but suddenly he became conscious of eyes on him.

"Hey Donny." He greeted, trying his best to sound cheerful as he caught sight of his brother. There was a strange look on the purple-banded turtle's face as he stepped further into the room.

"How are you doing?"

"Fine I guess. Find any leads?"

The brainy turtle shook his head. "Nothing. I tried his shell cell signal again last night and came up blank. Called Casey, April. They haven't seen him."

Leo nodded slowly, he'd guessed there wouldn't be any new developments, but that didn't stop the sick feeling rising in his stomach.

Don rubbed a weary hand over his eyes. "Listen Leo, the reason I came in here…"

Leo tensed.

"Splinter told us last night about you blaming yourself and…ok you did tell Raph to leave, but this is Raph. Usually he just needs time to cool off and then he comes home, trying to make you eat humble pie."

Leo nodded slowly, a grin touching his mouth briefly.

"Look, what I'm trying to say is…Mikey and I don't blame you for what happened."

"Ok…thanks Don."

His spirits lifted slightly, vanishing swiftly at his brainy brother's next words.

"We're pretty sure the reason Raph hasn't come home is because something's happened to him. I think we need to stop looking for places he could be hiding and start looking for leads as to who could have taken him."

A terrible sick feeling started twisting at Leo's heart. Raph taken? What if…? No! He hurriedly pushed the thought away. Raph was strong; he'd hang in there, even if it was just to make Leo eat humble pie as Donny so eloquently put it. Well, if it helped keep his brother safe and alive, he'd eat as much humble pie as Raph wanted him too.

"Ok Donny, you wake Mikey and get started on…I don't know, something, anything. Trace that signal again, keep trying to trace every hour if you have too. As soon as it get's dark, we're going top side. I don't care if we have to turn over every stone in this city; we're going to find him!"

The purple-banded turtle smiled weakly. "Whatever you say fearless leader."

* * *

Raph leant back on the bed. He felt strangely…he didn't really know what he was feeling. Ruby had stayed with him for hours, just talking. He'd discovered she was, as he'd guessed, early twenties, twenty-one to be exact, orphaned at sixteen, after her parents died in a car crash. Her one regret was never having told them she loved them. He'd snorted at that point, typical human behavior, but still something tweaked inside him, something he wasn't sure he wanted to dwell on.

_She'd never told her family she loved them._ Raph frowned. Why had those words brought an ache to his gut?

_I've never told my family either._ He answered his own musings, nearly snorting loudly. Of course he hadn't told them. They were meaningless words, weren't they? His family knew how he felt, he didn't have to tell them.

_I told Leo he meant nothing to me. _True, he had, but…surely Leo would have known he wasn't serious?

Damn, he wasn't good with this emotional bullshit. Leo had told him to leave! So, he'd left. Simple. Then why did it hurt? Why did he miss them?

Raph growled softly. His brothers were probably glad that he was gone. He'd always been the one who lifted out of the group. Not smart like Donny, not a leader like Leo. Hell, he wasn't even optimistic like Mikey, constantly reaching out to help people. That's what his brothers did. They embraced their humanity, but Raph?

The angry turtle winced at the tightening in his gut. He was the odd one out, failing to find a place in either world. Either unwilling, or too weak.

_The hell with this._ He thought furiously, shutting down his train of thought. Determined to focus on something that made sense, no matter how small.

So he'd focused on Ruby. At least she was here, she was real and she wasn't trying to reach deep into him and get him too "talk about his feelings".

He was positive he'd caught a vague smile from time to time, infuriatingly hidden by her scarf, his fingers itching to pull the material away to see whether she was indeed smiling. His unwillingness to disturb the peaceful, friendly tone between them had stopped him.

Her voice sounded different from the pleading, frightened tone he'd heard before. It seemed stronger, feistier. As though lurking somewhere behind the scarf and scars lay a fire that hadn't quite been extinguished yet.

She sat talking to him as though he were a normal person, never pushing him but allowing him to volunteer information. There were moments he came close to telling her about his family yet stopped himself. She herself, shied away from answering his questions, more specifically whenever he asked her about that man.

Raph frowned again. That man. There seemed to be a name on the tip of his tongue, yet frustratingly it didn't come to him. He was positive there was something he knew, so why couldn't he remember?

Finally after time that seemed to Raph to come too quickly, she brought him some soup, watching him as he ate. Again that strange expression in her eyes that he couldn't place. He was sure it wasn't anything malicious, but it was something, after which she'd made a hasty retreat.

He lay there, turning their conversation over in his mind, wondering how she'd come to be involved with that strange man.

That man. He felt as though he should be remembering a dream which had faded fast as he woke.

Raph yawned deeply. He seemed to be tired quite a lot lately. Turning his head to the side as the dense fog started to grow and envelop him, he once again saw golden eyes dance behind his eyelids as they closed. Felt soft hands caressing him and a happy smile focused entirely on him.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Once again a huge thankyou to Mikell for taking the time to beta the chapter. Huge thankyou also again to Cindy, I don't know how I would have found the courage to keep posting this story if it weren't for your support :-) Thanks to all those who took the time to read the chapter and brainfear, thanks for reviewing :-) Usual Disclaimer, I don't own anything TMNT related :-)**

Nightmares plagued his sleep. Leo standing over him, taunting him.

_I'd be glad!_

He'd never thought he'd hear those words. It was Leo. The one turtle he could always depend on to help him clear his mind, sort through his raging emotions. If Raph needed to shout, Leo let him. If Raph needed to fight, Leo was there, giving him what he needed. Always fighting, endlessly, day in, day out, but Leo was still always there, ready for the next fight. Ready to ease his suffering, even if he didn't know that's what he was doing.

Raph shivered in his sleep as his two younger brothers floated into his mind. Mikey pleading with him, begging him to play one of his damn video games. Donny leaning over his desk, electrical equipment surrounding him. Raph shouting, he couldn't make coffee. Donny grinning sheepishly, pointing to the wires and bolts that lay on the desk, once a coffee machine, now something else to appease his brainy brother's thirst for knowledge.

His father, endlessly patient, training them, teaching them, guiding them. Helping them find peace and comfort in who they were.

His family stood just beyond his reach, yet every time Raph moved a step closer to them, they stayed just outside his reach.

As Raph twisted violently in his sleep, shouts came through the hazy fog.

_Leave him alone Sean!_

_I won't let you hurt him!_

_I already have!_

Golden eyes danced before him, soft hands reaching for him, caressing him, easing his pain, replaced quickly by a face, twisted, broken, filled with fear, calling out to him. Begging him to end the suffering.

Hot, blinding pain drove down into his body making him cry out into the darkness. Something sharp driving down on his plastron, his arms, thighs, anything it could. His body on fire with pain, weakening him, making him helpless, unable to stop his invisible tormentor and…something heavy, blocking everything. Draining him of his strength, forcing him into a childlike state of vulnerability. Unable to move, think, focus, just lie helpless, unaware, yet strangely aware of something.

Someone was shaking him, forcefully shaking him, demanding him to do as they say. Rattling his senses.

"Raph. Raphael. Wake up."

Raph awoke with a start, sweat pouring down his brow, his body trembling slightly. Someone _was_ shaking him. The room, lit by a soft glow revealed Ruby standing by the bed, hands on his plastron, shaking him gently.

"Wake up Raph. It's ok. You were dreaming, it's ok."

A cool glass pressed against his mouth, trickling soothing water down his throat.

"Drink. It will make you feel better."

Jesus the pain. It was almost unbearable. He had to grit his teeth to stop himself from crying out.

He felt something cool press against his forehead. Grateful he leaned into it, letting the coolness seep through his body.

"God, you're burning up."

Raph tried to focus bloodshot eyes on her, feeling a sharp sting in his arm.

"This should help."

What the fuck was she talking about? He struggled to make sense of her words; of what was happening to him, but he couldn't. The room was once again spinning, his head pounding. He had the distinct impression it would crack open if it pounded any harder.

A dream? Just a dream. Yet it had seemed so real. The pain had felt real, the feeling of utter helplessness had felt real.

He heard a faint noise, a snapping sound, felt pressure ease away from his wrists and ankles.

If only he could focus on what was happening. He was only vaguely aware she had released him from his restraints. Vaguely aware of gripping her small hand in his own.

His breathing was fast. His chest rising and falling quickly as he twisted his head from side to side, trying desperately to latch onto something, anything that would keep him from slipping.

Once more, he was vaguely aware of a dip in the bed.

"I'm sorry."

What? Why was she sorry? Damn it all, the fog was growing denser, suffocating him. He tightened his grip on Ruby's hand. Clinging onto her for dear life, his breath hissing out in short, painful gasps.

Not again, please God, not again. He could feel himself fading fast. Ruby's hand turning to liquid as his hand slipped away from hers. A faint scratching and snapping sound as pressure descended once more over his wrists and ankles.

* * *

The door closed gently behind her. Sighing deeply, Ruby turned to face the man standing by the door, a callous smirk engraved on his face.

"You have to stop this Sean. You're going to kill him."

The smirk grew wider, splitting his handsome face. "Am I? I'm not the one who's pumped it to the gills with drugs."

"You didn't leave me any choice!"

Sean tutted, wagging his finger at her. "Now Ruby, that's not true. You could have let it feel the pain."

She snorted, eyeing him warily. "You know I couldn't do that."

Humourless laughter rang round the room. "Poor, simple Ruby. Desperately trying to ease the creature's suffering."

"How long are you planning on holding him here?"

"As long as it takes!"

Ruby sighed again, rubbing weary hands over her face.

"He's not a threat to you. You don't have to do this."

"Oh but I do." He traced a finger down her face, flicking aside her scarf. "Haven't I been nice Ruby? Haven't I let you care for it? Let you keep it in comfort?"

Ruby forced back a shudder. His touch repulsed her. Strange how once, before she knew what he was capable of, it would have had the opposite effect.

"Please Sean…" she knew she was pleading "…just let him go."

The finger tracing her face, lowered down to her throat, his hand grasping it, choking her.

"Do not push me Ruby. I've been patient up to now, but even my patience has its limits."

Grasping desperately at the hand round her throat, Ruby managed to gasp a pained "please."

Releasing his choking hold, he stepped back, regarding her with cold indifference.

"You will do as you're told. I'll allow you to tend to its wounds. You in turn will continue to keep it sedated. I have found it makes my work easier. However, if you even attempt to free it…" His laugh echoed in her ears "…losing that pretty face of yours will be the least of your concerns."

Ruby tensed, raising a hand tentatively to her face, feeling the deep grooves the scars had left. Raising pained eyes to his face, she saw his smirk turn into a triumphant grin.

Hatred rose within her, blinding her. Longing to wipe that grin off his face, something deep within her rose up, something vaguely familiar fighting to break free.

Still grinning, Sean placed forceful hands against her shoulders, pushing her back against the wall.

"You made your choice Ruby. You vowed to honor and obey me remember?"

Cowering visibly, revulsion oozing through her at his closeness, she managed to lower her voice. "If I'd known what I was getting myself into. I'd have died rather than make those vows."

Pain flashed across her cheek. She tasted blood. His grin growing even wider, Sean bent toward her, licking away the trail of blood trickling down the side of her mouth. Hands leaving her shoulders and grabbing her waist, pulling her flush against him so she could feel his arousal.

Nausea rose within her at his touch. She weakly pushed against him, trying to free herself from his hold, even as his hands lowered, fumbling with his belt, dropping his trousers, then setting to work on hers.

Desperately trying to focus on anything but what he was doing. Ruby closed her eyes, tears rolling gently down her cheeks, her murmured pleas of "stop" going unheard as he forced himself into her, breaking her spirit further. Whispering in her ear as he moved, painfully and deliberately.

"Remember Ruby, I'm all you have. No one else would want a damaged, pathetic little loser like you."

* * *

Raph twitched furiously in his sleep. Someone was crying. He could hear them, but he couldn't see anyone.

"_Where are you?"_ He called out, trying to see through the suffocating darkness.

There was no answer, only the continued sobbing.

"_Raphael!"_

He froze.

"_Raphael!"_

It couldn't be. Could it?

"_Master Splinter?"_

"_Raphael! What are you doing?"_

"_Sensei, I can't see you!"_

"_Why do you not help her?"_

Help who? Raph felt his way through the darkness, trying to find his father's location. It was endless, closing round him.

"_Where are you?"_ He cried out desperately.

"_We are waiting my son. We are waiting."_

His father's voice grew faint. Raph felt fear clutch him.

"_No! Father…please…don't leave me."_

"_We are waiting Raphael."_

"_Waiting for what?"_

Damn this darkness. His inability to see anything was infuriating. He stumbled forward, grasping at thin air in a desperate attempt to clutch on to his father.

"_Raph?"_

What the hell? _"Leo?"_ He'd recognize his brother's voice anywhere.

"_Leo, how did you find me?"_

"_I didn't Raph. I can't find you."_

What did that mean? Why couldn't Leo see him? Was he trapped in the same empty void?

"_Leo, I'm right here bro."_

"_Raph?"_

The voice of his eldest brother faded just as his fathers had done moments before.

"_LEO! I need to tell you something. I…I'm…"_

"_Raph?"_

"_Donny! Thank fuck you're here. I need your help bro, I can't see a thing."_

"_Raph? Where are you?"_

What the hell was going on around here? Why couldn't his brothers see him? What were they even doing here?

"_Yo Raphie!"_

Mikey. Overwhelming affection rose within the hot-tempered turtle. Mikey, his youngest brother, always ready and waiting to make him feel better.

"_Raph, why did you go? Was it something I did?"_

What? That didn't sound like his happy go lucky bro.

"_No Mikey, I'm right here. I wouldn't leave you."_

"_But you did." _

Raph felt himself flinch at the accusing tone in his brother's voice.

"_No Mikey…no, I didn't."_

But he had. He had left him; he'd left all of them.

"_It aint my fault!"_

Wasn't it? If he hadn't baited Leo, they would never have argued. Leo wouldn't have lost his temper and told Raph to leave. This was all his fault. He'd convinced himself they would be glad to see the back of him, yet here they were, calling out to him. They were trying to find him.

Renewed hope rose inside the angry turtle. Was it possible his anger hadn't ruined everything? Did they still care? Care enough to be searching for him?

"_Why do you not help her Raphael?"_

One sentence spoken amidst a sea of cries calling out to him. One sentence, asking him why he wouldn't help. But help who?

"Raph?"

Sounded female. Not his brothers or father then.

Raph awoke once more to find Ruby beside the bed, hands gently shaking him, looking down at him with red eyes. Had she been crying?

She pressed a cool hand to his head.

"Your fevers gone down a bit."

He tried to clear his dry throat, his hand released once more. A cool glass pressed into it.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like shit." Raph answered truthfully, gratefully gulping down the liquid. She was looking at him strangely, her thumb easing the tension between his brows. Once again, soothing him.

He glanced at her, wondering what had happened to make her cry.

"You feel strong enough to eat something?"

Did he? He wasn't sure. His stomach growled loudly, but the thought of food made him feel ill. He shook his head briefly.

"Listen. I…erm…" Damn this was hard. It was one simple word. Why couldn't he say it? Great, now she was looking expectantly at him. He cleared his throat again.

"Erm…I guess…you know…thanks for…you know…being here."

Was that guilt he saw flicker in her eyes?

"You don't have to thank me."

"Yeah, I do. I mean…you could have just left me right. Just let that guy do all this stuff to me an instead you…you know, helped me."

Again something flickered in her eyes.

"Raph, don't. Don't thank me. Believe me, I don't deserve it."

That was weird. Here he was trying to show some gratitude and she didn't want it.

"Yeah well…just so you know. Anyways…erm…you ok?"

"I'm fine!" Ruby snapped, turning her gaze away from his.

Seeing the puzzled expression on his face she sighed, raising her other hand to massage her neck.

"Sorry, it's just…never mind."

He thought she attempted a smile, but again couldn't be sure. She resumed applying gentle pressure to his forehead in circles. Easing away the tension inside him. He closed his eyes briefly, relishing the soothing motion, before opening them again to glance at her.

"So what are you doing here with him anyway?"

Her hand froze mid circle. Her shoulders lifting slightly, chin jutting out proudly.

"It's not important."

Raph attempted a shrug. Fair enough, if she didn't want to tell him. Still he kept his eyes on her, felt a tremor run through her. Absentmindedly she started rubbing again.

"So where would you go?"

What? His confusion must have registered on his face, so she clarified.

"If I let you go. Where would you go?"

Raph's eyes narrowed slightly. For a moment he didn't say anything and she didn't push him.

"Aint important." He said finally.

Ruby laughed softly. "Fair enough. We both have secrets."

A faint grin appeared on Raph's face for a moment. His eyes drifting closed as he relaxed against the gentle pressure. His body still drained of all energy, but for the first time in over two days, he felt oddly safe.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Again a huge thankyou to Mikell for taking the time to beta the chapter. You're an absolute star :-) To all those who read this story, thankyou for staying loyal. Usual disclaimer, I don't own anything TMNT related, I only wish I did. ;-)**

Had anyone cast their eyes upward that night, they may have been surprised to see three silent figures bounding across the rooftops, unable to keep themselves hidden in the shadows for long as they searched.

_One block at a time, just keep going. One block at a time. There has to be something, no matter how small. _One silent figure thought as yet another alley was thoroughly searched in vain.

Bending low, casting his eyes down over the streets, Donatello pressed his shell cell close to his ear, listening to the crackling voice of his brother.

"Nothing this end Donny. You find anything?"

"Nothing here either."

The purple-banded turtle heard Leo curse under his breath. Honestly, he felt like swearing himself. Hours had passed, hours of relentless searching trying to find anything that could lead them to the whereabouts of their lost sibling. With each hour that passed, the remaining three brothers grew more frustrated, more agitated and even more determined despite the growing despair.

They felt the hot-headed turtle's absence like a missing limb. It didn't feel right. They needed to find him.

"I'll check in with Mikey" Leo's voice cut through Don's thoughts "if he hasn't found anything, we'll have to call it a night. Dawn will be here soon."

Don nodded his head slowly, then, realizing his brother couldn't see him muttered "yeah…ok."

Closing the shell cell, Don breathed in deeply, exhaling slowly.

"Where are you Raph?"

* * *

Raph opened his eyes. It took a moment for him to remember where he was. Turning his head slowly, he was surprised to find Ruby beside him, staring absentmindedly into a bowl of soup.

He remembered talking to her, hours of meaningless chatter. Not a habit he usually participated in, but somehow it helped him, kept him focused. She talked about her childhood, making him laugh as she revealed practical jokes she used to play on her father and visa versa, reminding him of jokes he played on Mikey and of course visa versa.

She'd been a daddy's girl, no question. Daughter of a doctor, which explained her vague knowledge of how to care for his wounds. Caution had stopped him from revealing too much about himself. No matter how caring she'd been, she was partially responsible for his imprisonment. She continuously shied away from any questions of how she came to be here. Any events that occurred after her parent's death.

Once again, she never pushed him, never forced him to reveal more than he felt comfortable with. He'd found himself enjoying her company, enjoying the sound of her voice keeping him conscious, away from the fog he'd grown accustomed to.

"_You're in great shape." _She'd said gently at one point, carefully changing the gauze on his arm, tracing his muscles with a finger.

He'd flushed, clearing his throat "_Have to be, gotta look after myself."_

"_There's no one to look after you?"_

"_Who'd wanna look after me?" _He'd retorted, feeling something tighten in his gut as his thoughts flashed to Splinter. She'd smiled at him, at least, he thought she did.

"_Everyone needs someone to look after them."_

He'd snorted loudly. He wasn't a believer in all that sentimental bullshit. He'd learned a long time ago that it was just him. Him, his brothers and father. Ok, they had April and Casey, but those two were married, spending less time with their friends and more time with each other. While Raph understood why, it didn't stop the anger rise within him that they would always be alone. There would never be anyone to care for them, see beyond their outer exterior to the human part that lay beneath. They were destined to be alone. Did Raph ever long for some form of companionship? Perhaps in his weaker moments, he may have felt a twinge of jealousy at seeing his friends so happy, so content to be with each other. Perhaps he may even have wondered what it would feel like to have someone look at him the way April looked at Casey.

But if he did feel these things during his more emotional moments, he quickly pushed them away. It was sentimental human bullshit. There was no point in dwelling on things that could never be.

"_I don't need anyone!" _He'd said, slightly harsher than he'd intended. She'd given him a strange look, but said nothing.

Realizing he was just sitting there staring, his mind wondering, he mentally shook himself. Vaguely embarrassed he cleared his throat, reaching a hand out, surprised to find he was loose.

"Hey." He muttered hoarsely as his hand descended on her shoulder.

Ruby jumped, jerking her head round. Golden eyes bored into his. Red rimmed from crying, yet a faint, determined look lurking in their depths. She stood abruptly, the bowl falling to the floor with a crash.

"Go ahead." She said simply, walking the few feet to the door before turning back to face him.

His startled expression merely served to increase the determined gleam in her eyes.

"I said, go ahead."

"What the fuck are you on about?" He growled impatiently, feeling suddenly cold without her warmth beside him.

"You're free Raph, so go ahead."

Was she challenging him? Raph couldn't be sure, but having never failed to meet a challenge another growl sounded deep within his throat. Carefully, he pushed himself upright. The room started swaying violently but he ignored it. He swung his feet to the ground, pain shooting through his body. Again he ignored it. He stood, feeling something tug at his plastron, his thigh. Glancing down, he saw a new wound, tightly wrapped with gauze.

Raph took a few tentative steps forward. The room pitched. Slowly, his arms flailing in a very ungraceful movement, he felt himself fall. Arms came round him, holding him, supporting him, forcing his head to jerk up as he panted painfully.

He found his gaze locked with Ruby's, her face mere inches from his. There was a daring glint in her eyes as she looked steadily at him.

"Still think you don't need anyone?"

He flushed, pushing against her shoulders to steady himself, his hand accidentally grabbing hold of the scarf round her face. There was a moment's panic as the scarf fell away from her face, a moment where he thought she would let go, cover her face. However, apart from a distinct tensing of her body, she kept a hold of him, knowing if she let go, he would fall.

Instead she ducked her head, trying to hide herself, all the while maintaining a firm grip on him.

"Who did this to you?" Raph asked softly, his face still close to hers, close enough that he could see the deep grooves the scars made.

Instead of replying, she guided him back to the bed, sitting him gently down. She sat beside him, looking at a spot on the wall. The same determined expression etched on her features.

"Take me with you."

What? Not a statement he'd been expecting. The turtle looked at her, trying to make sense of the emotions flitting across her face.

"If you stay here, sooner or later he'll kill you. I'll let you free on the condition that you take me with you." Her gaze came up to meet his steadily, her hands twitching to cover her face but being forced to remain in her lap. "You'll need my help to escape. You'll also need someone to keep an eye on the damage already done to you. You've seen for yourself you can't get very far without my help. I'll help you, but I need something from you in return. I need you to get me out. Take me with you."

Realization dawned on Raph's face as his hand pressed against his plastron. Of course. No human ever did anything without expecting something in return. He thought for a moment. His body ached, his head pounding. She had a point. In his condition he'd never make it far by himself. He could call his brothers, but then he'd be luring them to this place, possibly to the same situation he'd been placed in himself.

Raph's eyes narrowed on her face. "And if I won't do it?"

"Then you'll stay here. You're too weak to fight me Raph; we both know that. We also know we need each other. So what do you say?"

What did he say? What could he say? For one brief moment he'd thought she might be different. Yet here it was, the undeniable proof he'd always suspected. No human ever did anything purely out of the goodness of their hearts. There was a cold expression on her face and another emotion he couldn't place lurking in the depths of her eyes. Hope? Fear?

Whatever it was, she wasn't leaving him much choice. If he stayed here, he would undoubtedly die. His body was already drained of strength, pain bursting through him with each breath he took. He wasn't sure how much longer he could take it, but then…he'd never felt anything, apart from that first night. Always awakening to find new wounds on his body but failing to remember where they came from. His mind always clouded and helpless, fighting in the void it had grown so accustomed too. As the darkness ended, the pain started, driving through him, making him grit his teeth even as the stitches pulled against his skin.

He met her gaze evenly, a snarl curling his lip. "Looks like I don't got much of a choice."

Satisfaction brought a smile to her lips. "My thoughts exactly." She said, reaching into her pocket. She leaned in close, her arm coming round his shoulder, startling him. A sharp sting broke his skin. His cry of alarm muffled against the hand she placed over his mouth.

"You'll need your rest. We have a long night ahead of us."

What the fuck? His wide eyes, betraying his sudden fear looked into hers, where he saw something flicker. The room started spinning, gradually growing out of focus, till all he could see was Ruby's face. Gentle hands easing him down on the bed. The empty void returning, mocking him. Her voice?

"I'm sorry."

* * *

"Donny?"

The purple-masked turtle turned weary eyes toward his brother.

"Aw man. Did you get any sleep at all bro?"

Shaking his head Don attempted to smile at his baby brother. Trying not to let the happy go lucky turtle see the fear that raged through him and Leo. Though Mikey was far from stupid. He crossed the room, closing the door gently behind him.

"We're gonna find him…right Donny?"

"Sure Mikey, we're gonna find him."

"Hey Don?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do me a favor…stop trying to hide things from me."

The brainy turtle looked up in surprise, bringing a smile to the orange-banded turtle's face.

"I know you guys just want to keep me happy, but I'm a big turtle now. Raphie's my bro too and I need to be told the truth about what's going on."

Don placed a comforting hand on his brother's shoulder.

"Like I said Mikey, we're gonna find him. You know we'd never give up."

Mikey nodded. "Just…I'm scared too and I need to know what you guys are feeling. I need to know it's ok to be scared."

"It's definitely ok Mikey. Raph's gone. We're all scared. You're not alone."

While the statement wasn't an encouraging one, it seemed to satisfy the youngest turtle, who smiled suddenly.

"So we'll be scared together, then when we find Raphie, we can tell him we were scared and he can laugh at us."

Don chuckled. Sounded like Raph. Always hiding from any emotional stuff.

"We will find him Mikey."

The youngest turtle's face split into a grin.

"I know. I never doubted it. I just needed to hear you say you were scared too."

With that he left the room, a faint bounce in his step, albeit a heavily weighed down bounce. Don stared at his bedroom door as it closed. His baby brother never failed to surprise him with his own unique little ways. A soft, affectionate grin started twitching at the corners of Don's mouth. It was ok to be scared. They'd find him, in what state he'd be they didn't know, but they would find him. Hopefully alive and ready to fight, if not, well…Don would settle for anything as long as his hot-headed brother was alive. Whatever else, they could cross when and if they came to it. Injuries, mental distress. Anything, just as long as Raph in all his grumbling, shouting glory was alive.

* * *

"Going somewhere?"

Ruby spun round, hearing his voice. A tremor running through her body as she stared up into his malicious face.

Sean indicated the backpack she'd carelessly left by the door.

"Just clearing out some stuff I don't need anymore." She tried to keep her voice as steady as possible.

He didn't reply, simply looked at her with the same calculating expression. Her answer didn't really seem to interest him; so confident was he in his ability to break her. Once again Ruby felt hatred rise up inside her, along with fear. A desperate hope he wouldn't look inside the bag. If he did, he'd find Raph's weapons and whatever that odd shell shaped object was. Along with several personal items she kept close to her heart. Reminding her of a time long ago when things were different. He might also find certain things she'd kept hidden from him, accumulated during her three years under his thumb.

"Erm…I left your dinner in the oven." She went on, still casting fearful glances in his direction.

"Later perhaps. Right now I have other things I need to do." He grinned, taking a step toward her. Ruby forced herself to stand her ground. She knew what was coming. Her fear aroused him. Pushing her forcefully back toward the bed, she reached inside her pocket, careful not to draw his attention to her action. Would it really have to be done the hard way? She'd never succeeded before, but there was a first time for everything.

She let him touch her, desperately trying to hide the disgusted flinches her body made, waiting for that one moment.

Ruby didn't have to wait long. As he shuddered helplessly on top of her, her fingers closed round the needle she clutched in her hand. With one swift move, she jabbed it down into his shoulder.

Sean's eyes widened, his head jerking up. The drug worked swiftly, just as she knew it would. While normally, she would have waited till he ate, watching him drift into an unconscious state just so she could be free from him, tonight was different. Tonight she had a means of escape. Tonight she had hope. Tonight she had courage, a feeling she'd long given up hope of ever feeling again. Tonight she finally had someone to help her, even if she had forced him into it.

"You bitch!"

Ruby pushed Sean off her, narrowly avoiding the hand that came crashing toward her face, yet in his weakened state she had the advantage. She watched as his eyes rolled back into his head, breathing becoming deep and labored. She'd used twice the normal dosage. Unfortunately it wouldn't be enough to kill him, but it would leave him out for long enough.

Dropping her head down on her knees she cried. Shoulders shaking with sobs. Relief flooded through her as well as pure disgust. She needed a shower. She needed to clean the stench of him off her. No matter how many times she washed, it never seemed to be enough.

Her tears slowed to a stop. Looking down at Sean's slumbering form, she heaved violently, scrambling off the bed, desperate to make it to the bathroom in time before she retched.

Ruby's thoughts flashed briefly to Raph lying in the other room, hopefully gradually regaining his conscious state. He was a strange creature, beautiful in an odd way. Sean had been right to say she was drawn to him, though what it was about him that had stirred something she didn't know.

Ruby remembered how he'd lain there helpless, screaming in agony when she first saw him. Yet still there was something. He was unlike anything she'd ever seen before, turtle on the outside, but strangely human on the inside.

Something in his muscular body had given her hope, perhaps someone who could protect her. Help her leave this life, find the strength within herself to try at the very least, hopefully protected in his presence.

Hopefully…


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: A huge huge thankyou to Mikell for her patience in beta ing this chapter and guidance :-) Cindy a huge thankyou to you as well for your support and guidance. You two are my stars :-) Brainfear again thankyou for reviewing, it's hugely appreciated :-) To all of you reading the story, thankyou for your loyalty, hang in there, we're going somewhere with this ;-)**

Raph waited, waited for the perfect opportunity. As soon as Ruby helped ease him off the bed, he turned with a growl, grabbing her wrists and forcing her down on the bed, throwing his weight on top of her.

Her eyes widened with fear, hands struggling in his grasp.

"What are you doing? Get off me!" She panted.

"Not until I get some answers!" The angry turtle snarled. "What did you do to me?"

"I didn't do anything."

"The hell you didn't!"

Raph was struggling, his strength severely weakened but he held on firm.

"Raph please, you're hurting me." She managed to gasp, her eyes wide. He could feel her trembling beneath him.

He didn't loosen his grip. "I ain't going nowhere with you until you tell me what the hell is going on round here. Who is that guy? What are you doing with him?"

Raph felt her struggles weakening.

"It doesn't matter. Please…"

"Tell me what's going on round here?"

"Please…" Ruby pleaded, tears forming in her eyes.

Raph growled again, shifting slightly, his head pounding. "What did you do to me?"

"I helped you!"

"By doing what?"

She didn't answer. Her head turned away from him, tears now rolling down her cheeks. Under normal circumstances, Raph would have relented on seeing her obvious fear, but these weren't normal circumstances. For the past three days, he'd been chained to a bed, trapped in a suffocating void, constantly waking to find his body erupt with pain. He needed some answers from her. His anger was all he had left and it was enough to give him the strength he needed to hold her down, ignoring the waves of agony that washed over him with each breath he took.

"What do you want from me?" He heard her plead. She was panicking. He could see it in her eyes. Her body was tense, feebly lashing out at him, unable to release her wrists from his grasp.

"I want you to tell me what the hell is going on? Who is that guy? Why are you so desperate to get away from him?"

"Do you really need to ask?" She said, glancing briefly at his arm.

"Tell me who he is or…"

"He's my husband!" Ruby cried. "Are you satisfied? He's my husband." Her body trembling, she stopped struggling, gasping for breath.

Shock flashed across the angry turtle's face. "You've been helping him."

"No!"

A furious snarl curled Raph's mouth. "What did you do to me?"

"I…I kept you sedated. But not to help him. The pain would have killed you if I hadn't!"

"You drugged me?" His voice was trembling with rage.

"I had too." Her voice was soft, pleading.

"I could have got out if it weren't for you! You kept me weak so I'd have no choice but to help you! Didn't you?"

"No! How can you even say that?" She turned shocked eyes to him, clearly hurt by the cruel accusation. "All I wanted to do was help."

Raph snorted. "You wanted to help yourself!"

"No I…"

Raph cut her off. "Give me one good reason why I should help get you out of here!"

"Please…you need me. You can't get far on your own!"

"You made sure of that didn't you!" He snarled, gritting his teeth as the pain returned with a vengeance. Vaguely he heard the woman sobbing.

His attention came back to her, observing her quietly, possibly for the first time since he'd met her. She was trembling beneath him, terrified. He felt a sudden twinge of regret. She had cared for him after all and he wasn't sure she didn't have a point. The pain lashing through him right now was almost unbearable. He didn't know how he would have managed to survive the pain while the wounds were inflicted, had he been awake at the time. He remembered her terrified cry on that first night. Pleading with the guy to stop hurting him. Remembered the following night, where he'd awoken, thinking he was dreaming. Again the same pleading, pleading that he wouldn't be hurt.

Struggling to get his anger under control, he somehow managed to pull the scarf away from her face again, causing her to cry out with fear, desperately trying to hide her face.

"Did he do this to you?" Raph snarled, balancing himself, so all his weight was on top of her, cupping her chin in his hand and forcing her to look at him.

"Answer me!"

"Yes!" She snapped out, jerking her head violently.

He inhaled sharply. "What else?"

Ruby closed her eyes, but not before Raph caught sight of the disgust in them. He remembered crying, loud bangs that echoed. The twinge of regret grew inside him. He could guess what else.

Somehow gathering his strength he managed to ease off her, ignoring the spinning of the room as he stood.

She sat slowly, drawing her knees up to her chest, still visibly shaking. Raph growled softly, berating himself. He held out a hand, his face twisting as she jerked away from him.

"Come on then." He said, trying to keep his voice gentle.

Ruby lifted her head, locking wary eyes with his.

"You wanted to get out, so let's go." He went on, his hand still outstretched to her.

She looked from him to his hand and back to him, clearly unsure. Frightened he might attack. Finally, she placed her hand in his, carefully easing off the bed, keeping wary eyes on his face.

While she wasn't heavy, Raph swayed dangerously as he tried to help her to her feet. On impulse, Ruby's arms came round him, supporting him. Their faces mere inches apart, Ruby managed to whisper, "Are you sure?"

The red-banded turtle attempted a grin. "Like you said. I can't do it on my own."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Raph, come on!"

Ruby tugged frantically at the sullen turtle's arm. He shook his head stubbornly, sitting down heavily on the grass, his face greener than usual.

"Would you get up, we have to go!"

"Ain't going nowhere with you in that thing." Raph growled angrily.

"It's a two hour drive back to the city, what were you expecting me to do?"

"Not drive it into a ditch!" he grumbled.

"I did say I didn't have a license." Ruby muttered, flushing slightly as she looked over at Sean's car wedged deeply in the mud.

"No shit!"

"What was I supposed to do? We could hardly walk. Look at the state of you."

"I looked better an hour ago!"

Walking over to the car, she placed her hands on the bonnet. "If you'll just steer I can push it out."

Raph shook his head again, holding a hand against his plastron, panting slightly.

"You ok?" Ruby asked, noticing his pale tinge.

The red-banded turtle gritted his teeth, managing to gasp, "Hurts"

Grabbing the back pack off the back seat, Ruby removed a vial of pills.

"Take two of these. They should help."

Raph glanced at the vial warily.

"They're just pain killers Raph." Ruby sighed. "They won't knock you out, but they should take the edge off the pain."

Still suspicious, he took the pills from her. He heard her sigh again. Another wave of pain crashing over him. Feeling vaguely defeated, he popped two of the small pills in his mouth, swallowing, trying not to gag. He felt Ruby's hand on his plastron.

"Let me have a look." She said softly, easing his hand away from his wound.

Sitting back slightly, Raph let her unwrap the gauze round his waist.

"I wasn't able to stitch this one." He heard her mutter, almost to herself. She poked him, causing him to yelp and glare at her.

"Sorry." She actually seemed to give a small grin at that point. She poked again.

"Take it easy." Raph grumbled, wincing.

If she heard him, she gave no sign. Her attention was fixed firmly on his plastron, a slight frown creasing her brow.

"It looks ok." She said, still seemingly talking to herself. "Bruised, but seems to be healing."

"That's comforting." Raph snarled.

Ruby looked up. "Does this hurt?" She poked hard, causing him to yelp louder this time. He grabbed her wrist.

"What the hell do you think?"

She frowned, looking at the wound. "Definitely bruised then."

He snorted. He could have told her that.

"It's softer than I would have thought, more supple. A second skin almost."

It took a moment for Raph to realize she was talking about his plastron. He had the vague feeling he was under a microscope.

"Thanks for the diagnosis Doc!" He muttered, embarrassed by her scrutiny.

Ruby did smile at that. Removing some wipes from the bag, she carefully soothed the burn, placing plasters across the wound and wrapping clean gauze round him tightly.

"Dad always wanted me to be a doctor." She sighed once she finished.

The turtle glanced at her. "Not sure I would be the patient he had in mind."

Ruby's smile grew slightly. "Probably not. He never did like awkward patients."

There was a daring glint in her eye, giving Raph the distinct impression she was teasing him. He flushed slightly.

"I'm sure he'd be proud of you." He muttered. It was Ruby's turn to blush. She lifted her slender shoulders in a shrug.

"Maybe, he taught me most of what I know."

"Where'd you get all this stuff anyway?"

Ruby glanced at him. "From Sean. He's a doctor too. He used to work with my dad, well…my dad taught him. That's actually how we met."

Raph felt something tighten in his gut. "You loved him?"

She snorted softly. "Hardly. The only man I ever loved was my dad. After he died…" She broke off, tears welling in her eyes again. "No! I never loved Sean!"

The red-banded turtle felt the tightness in his gut ease slightly. He wanted to push her further, but figured she wouldn't respond well to it. Whatever the guy had done to her and he had a pretty good idea, it had clearly left a lasting impression on her. Their was a light, friendly tone between them for now and Raph didn't want to ruin it by forcing her more than he already had. He felt another twinge of regret as he remembered how she'd never forced him to talk about anything.

He turned his attention to the ground. Beside the open bag lay a familiar object. He started as he recognised his shell cell. "Where did you get this?"

Ruby looked surprised.

"It was with your other things. Sean had locked them in the safe. I figured you'd want it back."

Raph didn't answer. He looked down at his cell.

Should he call his brothers? Would they be glad to hear from him? If his dream was anything to go by then they would, but Raph's pride reminded him how Leo cruelly told him to get out.

"You ok?"

Ruby's voice cut through his thoughts. It would save him having to get back in the car with her. His face twisted again. Thoughts of his family, his brothers searching frantically for him.

"_I'd be glad!"_

No! If they wanted to find him they could. All he had to do was switch his cell on. He didn't need to call. Then again, what if his brothers weren't looking for him? They couldn't stay here; it wouldn't stay dark forever. Swallowing heavily Raph pressed a button on the cell.

* * *

"LEO!"

The cry sent the blue-banded turtle hurtling from his room. Ignoring the stairs, leapt down to the ground floor.

"Don! What…"

The brainy turtle, pointed excitedly at his computer screen.

"I've got a lock on Raph's cell."

It took a moment for this to sink in. Leo grabbed his younger brother.

"You've found him?"

"Easy Leo. I've found his cell. We don't know if Raph is anywhere near it."

"So what do we do?"

"We go after him, that's what we do." Mikey's voice startled the two turtles. The youngest brother stood behind them, rolling his eyes as though the answer were obvious. Donny shook his head slowly.

"We don't know what we'd be heading into. I know we're all desperate to find our brother, but we need to know more about the situation."

"Yeah Don, you do that. Me and Leo will go get Raph. Right bro?" Mikey snapped crossly, turning to face his eldest brother.

"No Mike. Don's got a point. It could be a trap." Leo said, struggling against the emotions raging through him making it difficult to stay calm. He needed to keep a level head about him. He had two other brothers too think about. He couldn't just lead them straight into possible danger. Then again, what if Raph needed him? He could be hurt, trying to send them a message. Showing them where he was.

Leo sighed, he needed Raph here, home with his family. They all did.

"What do you think we should do Sensei?" Don asked, noticing the old rat stading in the corner.

"I believe it would be wise to tread on the side of caution."

"So we should call first?" Mikey asked, feeling dumbfounded by his family's lack of excitement.

Splinter nodded his head slowly. "I believe it would be wise. Donatello, you can use your knowledge to discover if anyone is trying to track our signal."

The purple-banded turtle nodded, spinning his chair back to his computer.

"Ready when you are Sensei."

"Leonardo, you will make the call."

"Yes Master Splinter."

His hands shaking slightly, Leo placed his cell to his ear, closing his eyes and praying fervently it would be Raph who answered.

"Leo?" The crackling growl came through the cell. Relief flooded through the blue-banded turtle's body, causing his knees to buckle under him.

"Raph! Where the hell are you? You alright bro?"

"Take it easy Leo." The familiar chuckle echoed down the phone. "I've been better. It's a long story."

His body raging with every emotion imaginable, Leo barely noticed Splinter take his cell from him.

"Raphael. Your brothers are on their way. Please do not move from your present location." He nodded at his sons, who stood shifting eagerly, anxious to get on their way and bring their brother home.

"Not gonna be a problem Sensei."

"Are you alright my son?"

"Long story Sensei. I'm ok though, I had some help."

"Very well. Raphael, I am…relieved to hear your voice."

There was silence, followed by a quiet "Me too…father."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: A huge thankyou to Mikell for beta-ing this chapter. I don't know how I'd do it without you :-) Cindy, again what can I say. Thankyou for your support. :-) Brainfear thankyou again for your feedback, I'm so glad you're getting into the story :-) and finally to all my readers, thankyou for your continues loyalty. **

Opening groggy eyes, Sean tried to assess his situation. He was lying on the floor semi-naked, though he couldn't remember how he came to be in this position.

He blinked a few times, trying to clear the haze. Slowly, his mind started to clear.

Once he was sure he was fully conscious and aware, he leapt to his feet, yanking his trousers on.

That bitch!

He ran through the house. It was empty. No sign of Ruby or the creature.

Damn her! She'd released it. He'd been nowhere near discovering more about its anatomy. He needed more information on how its body worked. If the creature's organs were compatible with humans, he could sell them. No one would miss it, their may even be others like him, lurking somewhere. Organs available for the taking. He knew quite a few people who would pay generously for a liver. But first he needed Ruby out the way. If she'd set it free once, she'd do it again.

An almost inhuman cry tore from his mouth. "I'll find her and when I do, I'll tear her apart for defying me!"

Passing by the window, Sean stopped short. His car was missing. His mind started reeling, going over various options. After a while, a slow smile spread across his face.

Calmly he walked over to the phone, lifting the receiver and dialing.

"Hello? Police? Yes. I'd like to report a stolen vehicle."

* * *

Ruby was clearly beside herself. She glared at Raph, who rubbed a weary hand across his forehead.

"Would you stop yelling? You're giving me a headache." he grumbled.

"You should have told me!"

"Yeah yeah, I heard you the first time."

"So why didn't you?"

"I dunno. Hell Ruby, how was I supposed to know I'd end up in this situation!"

Ruby sighed, taking a deep breath. "If I'd know you had a family, I'd never…"

"You know now."

"Raph, listen to you! Yeah I know now, but if I'd known sooner I could have done more! Helped you get out when it started!"

"Guess it's a good job I didn't tell you then."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ruby seemed momentarily stunned.

"Don't matter." Raph exhaled slowly. "Look, you helped me get out. Now it's my turn to help you."

"How exactly are you going to help me?" The young woman closed her eyes briefly. "No Raph, you need to go home with your family. They can take care of you."

The red-banded turtle looked up in surprise. For some reason he didn't like the idea of someone else tending to his wounds. He'd grown rather used to her gentle touch and he didn't like the idea of her staying out here alone and unprotected.

"What about you?" he asked.

"I don't know. I guess I could get the car out by myself and find somewhere to hide out till things die down."

Raph shook his head firmly. Get back in that damn car by herself? The way she drove? She was worse than Mikey. No way!

"No. You'll come home with me."

"Are you crazy?" He heard her startled exclamation. "I can't come with you, it wouldn't be fair."

The angry turtle glowered. Man she liked to argue. Which under normal circumstances wouldn't be a problem. He'd never been one to back away from an argument, but in his present condition, he just didn't have the strength. Carefully he tried to ease himself off the ground, determined to make the girl see sense. Surprisingly, he managed to stand without too much difficulty, though when he tried to take a step forward, the ground suddenly loomed up in front of him.

Ruby was quick to react, catching him as he swayed dangerously on his feet.

"This is getting to be a habit." he growled softly as he found his gaze once again locked with hers. Her arms round his waist, resting on his shell.

The young woman blushed. "You shouldn't do things like that. You need your rest. Wait till the wounds start heeling properly before you try moving around too much."

"Hey, what do I know? You're the doc round here." he grinned at her, pleased to see her return it, albeit rather faintly.

"Well…doctor's orders. Stay off your feet as much as you can the next few days and keep taking the pain killers as and when you need them."

Raph scowled. "Sounds like fun."

Ruby's grin grew wider. "You'll get used to it. It's only for a few weeks till the stitches come out."

"An I'll need you for that."

The young woman ducked her head. "Don't be silly. Your brothers can take care of that, one quick snip and out they come."

Feeling vaguely frustrated, he caught her chin in his hand, turning her face back to his.

"Come with me."

"Raph…"

"Just come with me. What you gotta lose?"

"It wouldn't be fair. I can't just walk in and disrupt your lives."

The red-banded turtle snorted. "You've already done that. Besides…I owe you one."

"That's hardly a reason." Ruby smiled.

"Ok. How about this one? I ain't letting you get back in that car. The way you drive you'd never get anywhere." There was a cheeky glint in his eye that he was sure did not go unmissed by Ruby, who donned a vague hurt look, before punching him in the shoulder; causing him to yelp.

"Sorry." she muttered.

"That reason enough?"

She glared at him, meeting his eye evenly. His challenge was out, now it was up to her to accept it and she didn't disappoint him.

"I'd say the main reason would be to make sure you behave yourself and do what the doctor tells you."

* * *

The air inside the battle shell was thick with apprehension. Leo's fingers curled round the wheel, gripping it tightly. Mikey sat beside him staring out the window, while Don kept his eye fixed firmly on his cell, trying not to lose Raph's signal, muttering occasional directions at Leo as they left the city.

None of them spoke. The same thought on all their minds. What had happened to Raph to keep him absent for nearly four days?

It seemed to the three turtles the trip took forever, but finally Mikey's exited shout indicated they'd found their brother. Screeching to halt, the turtles leapt from the van, rushing over to him, surprised to find he wasn't alone.

"Raph!" Leo was the first beside him. "You alright bro?"

The red-banded turtle seemed vaguely surprised to see his brothers show up out of nowhere.

"What's it look like?"

Leo was staring at Ruby, silently demanding answers. All Raph managed to do was straighten himself slightly in a faint protective manner.

"Geez Raph look at the state of you." Don was beside him next, forcing Ruby to take a few steps back and away from the turtle.

"Take it easy Don." Raph muttered as his brainy brother started fussing round him.

"What happened to you?" Leo demanded, still staring at the young woman.

"Long story bro."

"And you can tell us all about it when you get home." Mikey chipped in pleasantly, stopping short as he noticed Ruby. "Who's she?"

"She's the reason I'm still here Mikey!" Raph snapped, noticing her strained expression at all the commotion.

"Cool. Thanks for that." Mikey stepped forward, stopping again as he caught sight of her face. "Dude, what happened to you?"

Ruby visibly flinched, forcing a growl from Raph. "Show some tact bonehead!" he muttered trying to ease himself away from Don's incessant poking.

"Ok. Well, whoever you are. Thanks for taking care of our brother but we can take it from here." Leo said shortly, nodding in her direction.

"Hold it Leo." Raph said. "She's coming with us."

The brothers exchanged surprised looks. "Erm, I'm not sure that's a good idea. You know how a certain someone feels about us bringing home strangers." Don said gently, giving his younger brother a meaningful look.

"It ain't open for discussion Donny." Raph snapped back.

"Raph it's ok." Ruby said, smiling at the orange-banded turtle. "I'm Ruby."

The two elder turtles looked at one another. "Ok…and you're with Raph because…?" Don asked.

The young woman flushed, locking her gaze with Raph, clearly uncomfortable.

"She helped me," he muttered.

Mikey stood near Ruby, scrutinizing her face. He seemed rather interested in what could have happened to her. Reflex kicked in and she ducked her head trying to hide herself.

"Did Raph do it?" Mikey asked in friendly tones. "Only I know how he can get when he's mad."

"Mikey…"

"Ok, let's drop this for now." Leo cut in, recognizing the angry tone in his brother. He knelt beside him. "It's good to see you Raph. Though I was hoping we'd find you in better condition."

"Leave it Leo." Raph snarled. "She ain't responsible for what happened."

"That's not entirely true and you know it!"

Surprised eyes turned in Ruby's direction. Her hands were on her hips, glaring at the wounded turtle.

"You don't need to protect me Raph. I'm perfectly capable of doing that myself."

"It weren't your fault though."

"If you mean your injuries, then no those weren't me, but I'm partially responsible for your condition. Let's not sugar coat things." she broke off, facing the eldest turtle. "If you're going to glare at me there should at least be a reason for it. I drugged your brother. Kept him sedated and unaware of what was going on around him."

Raph seemed stunned. This was a different side to the gentle hands he'd grown used to.

"You drugged him?" Don looked shocked.

Mikey's face dropped. He stared at the young woman, seemingly stunned.

"She had her reasons." Raph snarled.

"Which would be?" Don clearly needed some clarification.

"Can we talk about this later?" The red-banded turtle sounded frustrated. Leo looked at him.

"You can't seriously think we'll bring her along Raph."

"Leaving her here ain't an option!"

"Raph! She just said she drugged you!" Don was incredulous.

"So ask her why!"

A range of emotions flitted across the blue-banded turtle's face as though struggling with something.

"Ok…why?" he said finally, looking from Raph to Ruby.

"You've seen his condition. You work it out."

"I'd rather you tell me!"

Ruby sighed, dragging a hand through her hair. "Sean found him. Held him in a house upstate and…tried to dissect him."

There was an uncomfortable silence.

"Who's Sean?" Mikey asked innocently, looking from Ruby to his brothers.

"Don't matter." Raph growled.

"He's my husband, responsible for your brother's…and my condition." Ruby stated quietly, turning to Mikey and attempting a smile.

Another silence. Leo and Don glanced at each other, while Mikey peered closely at her face. The situation was almost unbearable for Raph.

"So you've got your answers. Now can we go?" he winced suddenly as a fresh wave of pain crashed over him, causing him to grit his teeth.

Don's head jerked toward him. "You ok Raph?"

The angry turtle shook his head, panting again, pointing at Ruby. Ignoring the looks she received, the young woman moved toward him, handing him the vial of pills.

"Wait." the purple-banded turtle said, taking the vial. "Pain killers?" he sounded surprised.

"Doctor's orders." Raph muttered, bringing a smile to Ruby's lips.

"You're a doctor?" Mikey sounded impressed.

"So you stitched these up?" Don asked simultaneously, prodding the injuries on Raph's arms and thighs.

"No. My dad was and yes. Dad taught me most of what I know."

"Now can we go?" the angry turtle sounded almost desperate. It was clear they couldn't stay here, though neither of the elder brothers was entirely convinced over bringing this woman back to their home.

It was Leo who finally made the decision. "Any chance you'll come home quietly without your…" he glanced at Ruby. "…friend?"

"Not a chance in hell bro." Raph muttered, smiling gratefully at his leader.

"Looks like you're coming with us then."

Ruby seemed taken aback. "You sure?"

"I'm sure I want my brother home. If that means you come too then that's the way it's gotta be…for now anyway."

"Cool." Mikey chipped in, taking Ruby's hand and shaking it vigorously. "I'm Mikey."

"I guessed." The young woman said softly.

"Don't worry bout Leo. He's been kinda stressed since Raphie disappeared." His voice turned suddenly serious. "We all have."

Without warning he flung himself at the angry turtle, pulling him tightly against him. Raph yelled in pain.

"Sorry bro." the orange-banded turtle sniffed. "Couldn't hold it back anymore."

"Less enthusiasm next time Mikey." he muttered, his voice softening. "It's good to see you too bro." he glanced at the others. "All of you."

A small cry sounded from the youngest turtle as he flung himself back on his brother.

"Geez Mikey…get off would ya!"

"Sorry." The youngest muttered again, prying himself off his brother and rubbing the back of his hand across his eyes.

Trying carefully to get to his feet again, Don supported him. Leo on his other side, but Raph shook his head, pointing once more at Ruby.

"Me?" The young woman looked startled.

"You're easier to lean on than these guys." he grinned at her. She blushed, glancing at the other turtles, hesitating slightly.

With a resigned sigh, Don moved away from his brother, giving her access to him. Leo stayed on his other side, allowing Ruby to support him, but keeping a close watch on her.

"Friendly family." Ruby muttered softly to Raph. He grinned again.

"Don't worry. You can lean on me."

She looked up in surprise. Noticed the teasing glint in his eye and shook her head.

"You're an idiot," she said simply.

"Takes one to know one," he growled.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah that's original…" A daring glint flickered in her eyes. "…Raphie."

A scowl curled his mouth. "You're lucky I can't do much right now."

Beside them, Leo turned round, exchanging glances with Don, who shrugged. Mikey noticed the look and pulled his eldest brother away from them.

"We got Raph back. That's what's important."

"Yeah I know Mikey but…"

"But nothing!" The orange-banded turtle's face was grim. "We got Raph back, so you two can glare and scowl all you want, but if that girl's the reason my brother's alive and back with me then she's ok in my book."

Leo stopped in surprise looking at his youngest brother, lowering his voice so the two in front couldn't hear him. "Mikey! She drugged him! She's probably the reason we couldn't find him!"

Mikey snorted. "You've seen Raph's wounds. She stitched him up. He wouldn't have got here on his own, so she helped him get out of wherever he was." he shook his head at his leader. "You heard Raph. She's the reason he's alive. If that isn't reason enough to be nice to her then I don't know what is!"

He stormed away from his brothers, running to join the two waiting patiently by the battle shell. Leo looked dubiously at Don.

"What do you think?" he asked.

Don shrugged. "She did stitch his wounds and he is alive. But…"

"She drugged him."

"Yeah she did. Though I'm not sure if she wasn't doing that to help."

"What do you mean?"

"She said this Sean guy tried to dissect Raph. If that's the case then that could be why she thought it was necessary to drug him. I dunno Leo…Mikey might be right."

"But?"

"Guess we'll just have to wait and see. Whoever she is, Raph seems to have taken a shine to her and we don't want to lose him again."

Leo sighed, rubbing a weary hand across his forehead.

"Yeah, you're right. Focus on Raph first, worry about this Ruby person later."

"And that's the reason you're our leader bro." Don grinned, clapping Leo on the shoulder.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: You seriously have to give Mikell points for this. How she managed to sort through that jumbled ramble I'll never know :-D The usual points here. Mikell, huge thankyou for beta-ing, couldn't have done it without you :-) Brainfear, my loyal reviewer a huge thankyou to you and of course my loyal readers who surprisingly are still sticking by me :-) Yes yes, Sean is crazy, feel free to bop him on the nose *grumbles* Same disclaimer applies, anything TMNT related does not belong to me :-)**

"Master Splinter!" Leo called loudly as the group entered the lair.

The old rat hurried out of his room, stopping only briefly as he noticed the strange young woman accompanying his sons. His eyes fell on Raph and he moved forward, clutching the turtle to him, tears rolling down his fur.

"Raphael! My son. You are safe."

The red-banded turtle was still for a moment, before placing his own arms round his father, blinking a few times to stop the tears that threatened to roll down his face.

Splinter removed himself from Raph's grasp, turning to face his sons, his gaze resting briefly on Ruby.

"What has happened to him? Who are you?"

"Father…she helped me." Raph muttered, glancing at the young woman who bit her lip nervously, perhaps slightly fearful of seeing yet another mutant before her.

"Indeed. Your name young lady?"

"She's Ruby." Mikey chipped him, beaming broadly.

The old rat turned a stern gaze on his youngest son. "Very well. If you will excuse me, I wish to speak to my sons alone."

"But…sensei" Raph objected.

"Alone Raphael!" He said sternly, giving Ruby a brief nod as he ushered his sons through to his room.

Left to her own devices, Ruby considered her options. She could run. Though being in the sewers, she had no idea where she'd run too. She could stay put and probably be subjected to another interrogation. Her chin lifted proudly. She had nothing to hide. Struggling for a moment to decide which of her options was most appealing, she sighed briefly. She'd promised Raph she'd stay and she'd never broken a promise before in her life.

She looked round her with interest. Considering she stood in a sewer, it was surprisingly homely. She was impressed. She walked round the ground floor, spotting a kitchen and what seemed to be a training area. That explained Raph's muscles she grinned ruefully. It seemed a strange TV set though, she thought as she took in the fifteen screens placed next to each other.

A brief smile crossed her lips. Raph really was more human than turtle. A home and family. He was a lucky man and surprisingly kind, considering the part she had played in his ordeal.

Loud voices came from behind the closed door. Raph was one she recognized and she suspected Leo was the other. Ruby frowned, wondering why the blue-banded turtle had taken such an intense dislike to her.

"Probably shouldn't have just blurted out I drugged his brother," she muttered to herself. Then again, she'd disliked the way the turtle kept staring at her, silently accusing, and seemingly blaming her for Raph's injuries. Her pride had kicked in and she'd decided to set him straight, though she couldn't really blame the others for not trusting her. Their brother had vanished; they'd probably been out of their minds with worry. Then suddenly he showed up again in the company of some strange woman.

Leo's attitude toward her seemed accurate when she thought about it. A smile flitted across Ruby's face. They were certainly an interesting family, a father rat and four brother turtles.

_Maybe I'm just curious about them. _She thought. _I think I'll stick around, at least for now. It could prove fun and it's been a long time since I've had any adventures._

Pondering this, Ruby became aware of eyes boring into her back. She turned; fear flashing briefly across her face, before realizing it was the rat. The four brothers stood behind him, looking at her. More accurately put, three of them were looking and Leo was glaring.

"Is everything ok?" Ruby asked, feeling suddenly self-conscious.

Splinter inclined his head. "I wish to speak with you."

"Me?"

"Who else?"

"Ok…what about?"

The rat gave his sons meaningful looks. "Alone." He said simply.

Exchanging glances with Raph, Ruby saw him give her an apologetic and almost pleading look as he leaned heavily on Don.

Nodding her head slowly, Ruby followed the rat through to the next room, passing by Raph who gave her hand a quick squeeze.

* * *

Ruby sat uncomfortably in the small room. The old rat sitting before her handed her a cup.

"Drink," he ordered softly.

She glanced at the door.

"Raphael is comfortable. His brothers are taking care of him."

"I didn't know," she said softly, staring down into the cup, watching the steam curl.

"About his family? I know. Raphael has already informed me of this."

"Please…" she looked up, her face pleading, "…you have to believe me. All I wanted to do was help."

Splinter regarded the young woman thoughtfully. "Tell me about your husband."

Ruby flinched. "I'd rather not."

"The matter is not up for debate. Your husband has wounded my son. I believe I have a right to know why."

The young woman sighed, staring back down to the cup. "You love him very much, don't you?"

The rat inclined his head. "Of course. I love all my sons. As I am sure your father loved you."

She smiled at that. "Daddy's little girl. That's what they called me."

"My son tells me your parents died. I am sorry for your loss."

Tears welled in her eyes. "I loved them very much. Though I was closer to my father. He was an honourable man. Dedicated to his profession and to my mother and me."

"He was a doctor. Is that correct?"

Ruby nodded. "He took an oath to save lives. He firmly believed in that oath. It used to annoy my mother. She hated spiders, but my dad refused to let her kill them, choosing instead to set them free. He would remind her all life was precious, worth saving…no matter how small or how strange it looked."

"A wise man." Splinter said, smiling gently.

A single tear rolled down Ruby's face. "He was my hero, taught me most of what I know. At night, he would pull me close, give me hot chocolate and tell me stories."

"I believe your husband also worked for your father." The old rat pressed her softly.

Ruby snorted. "Is there anything you don't know?"

"I do not know why your husband targeted my son in this brutal manner. Especially as he took the same oath your father did."

Anger welled up in the young woman. Her eyes flashed dangerously. "Sean never believed in that oath." She sighed, dragging a hand through her hair. "I wish I knew why he targeted Raph; unfortunately I have no idea what he was hoping to achieve, or even why he kept your son alive."

"From what Raphael has told me, it would appear you are the one who kept him alive. Yet I am at a loss to understand why you felt it necessary to cloud my son's mind, keep him trapped inside an empty void with no means of escape."

Ruby's hand touched her face involuntarily, her eyes closing to mask her pain. A gnarled hand reached out to close over hers, forcing her eyes open, wide and fearful. She jerked her head back, away from Splinter's touch. The old rat's eyes narrowed on her face, searching her eyes, piercing her very soul.

"I see. Your husband did this to you."

She didn't answer. Splinter dropped his hand away from her face, staring thoughtfully into his own cup.

"How long have you been married?" He asked finally.

Ruby took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. "Almost three years. We got married shortly after I turned eighteen."

"A young age to marry."

"Sean was there for me at a time when I was very vulnerable. After my parents died, I felt lost and alone and he took care of me."

"You loved him?"

"I…was flattered by the attention he gave me. He was a handsome, successful man. Although there were many men who vied for my affection in those days, none made me feel as safe or as protected as Sean did. When he asked me to marry him, gratitude forced me to accept. I believed I would grow to love him in time."

"Yet I sense from you it was not a happy marriage."

Ruby's hand touched her face again, her eyes clouding. It was almost a relief to finally talk. After years of neglect, she was grateful to the old rat for taking an interest in how she was feeling.

"Believe it or not, for the first six months we were happy. To the outside world, we were the perfect couple. Then things changed. Sean became, cruel, possessive. It began with little things. Demanding to know where I'd been, who I'd been with. Then he started to criticize the way I dressed, the way I acted. He accused me of flirting with other men."

She paused, struggling to continue. A gentle hand closed over hers, warm brown eyes smiling kindly at her, encouraging her to continue, to relieve herself of the poison within her. She took a deep breath, swallowing back a lump that rose in her throat.

"Over time, he became more forceful; he started to hit me when I tried to defend myself. He was always sorry afterwards, begging me to forgive him, promising it would never happen again and I found myself starting to excuse his behaviour, putting it down to a stressful job. But as the months passed, the beatings increased and he started…" she closed her eyes, fighting back a wave of disgust "…he started forcing himself on me. Always sorry afterwards, always making me feel it was my fault for not having done something I was supposed to do that day. I was desperate to leave him by this point. Desperate to finally have my freedom back. I was so lonely, isolated completely from my friends."

"You had no family you could turn too?" Splinter asked, taking the cup carefully from her hands and clasping them in his.

"My grandparents lived too far away; I had no aunts or uncles. Sean was all I had."

"You have lived a very lonely life these past few years. I would imagine it was something of a relief to meet my son. Have someone to talk to."

Ruby snatched her hands away, furious with the implication.

"If you believe I kept your son sedated just so I could have some company, you're wrong."

The old rat looked at her calmly. "I believe you turned to my son for help. Turned to my son to save you from your prison. I do not believe you intentionally kept my son a prisoner so you would have some company."

"Sean threatened to kill me if I set Raph free. I know what he's capable of; I had no reason to doubt he would kill me."

"He had threatened this before?"

Ruby's eyes closed against a fresh wave of pain; tears creeping out from behind her eyelids.

"I was finally free. I received a letter from my father's old college, telling me I'd been accepted. I was going to be a doctor."

"Your husband did not approve?"

Ruby opened her eyes, letting the tears run freely down her cheeks.

"I didn't tell him. I just wanted to escape. Only he found the letter and…" she gulped, her hand pressing against her face. "…I was asleep. He dragged me out of bed, shaking me. Took me to the basement. I'd never been down there. It was strange, almost like a mortuary. He swore I'd never leave him. He'd never let me go. He…chained me to a table in the basement, took a razor to my face."

Something flashed in the old rat's eyes. His ears twitched but he remained calm.

"He swore if I left him, he'd kill me."

"You never went to the college."

"I couldn't. People started avoiding me. When they saw my face, they were so horrified they refused to look me in the eye. How could I go about living a normal life when I looked like a freak?"

Ruby was openly sobbing, her body shaking. Eyes wide and pleading, almost begging to be released from her memories.

"Several months ago, I heard noises coming from the basement. I'd tried to avoid it. But I went down to see. Sean was down there. He was with someone, a colleague. They were…" her voice dropped to a whisper "…she was attached to a heart monitor, smiling at Sean as he made love to her. Then he…he injected her with something and she was still smiling."

"You know what it was?"

Ruby was staring off into the distance, sitting in an almost trance like state as the memories flooded through her.

"The heart monitor showed her heart slowing. She went into cardiac arrest. That's when I showed myself. Demanded to know what was happening. Sean just laughed. Said he'd been expecting me. He looked exhilarated, aroused. He tried to force himself on me, but I was desperate. I tried to save her. But he stopped me. Told me to watch. He kept repeating something about making medical break-throughs, being able to bring people back from the dead. Pushing the time limit further back, so if a patient was brought into the hospital already dead, he could bring them back. He looked insane, claiming one day people would view him as a god."

"You did not go to the police?" Splinter questioned, his tail twitching.

"I wanted too. I begged him to revive her. Threatened I would go to the police and tell them what he'd done. He just laughed. Said he'd been planning this, to prove to me, he would kill me if I betrayed him. He showed me a note, a typed confession, signed by me. Confessing to killing her because Sean was having an affair. He said all the evidence was there. His proof of having sexual relations with her. The scars on my face, proving why he no longer wanted to touch me. He said if I went to the police, they'd find me dead, the note beside me. No one would ever suspect him and he'd be free to continue his medical research. When he released me I tried to revive her, but she wouldn't move. She was gone and my DNA was all over her body. There was nothing I could do."

"You did what you could." Splinter sounded firm. "You can not be held responsible for her death."

Ruby looked at him, her face wretched, twisted with pain. "He didn't bring anyone back to the basement until he found Raph. He tortured him. When I begged him to stop, he hit me. All I could do was try to save Raph from feeling pain. I don't know why Sean let me help him, why he let me tend his wounds, but whatever he was doing; I couldn't let him continue. No matter what threats he made against me. I had to help him escape. My father taught me to always respect his oath. To save lives. Your son was a life I intended to save, even if it cost me mine."

Splinter smiled soothingly. "You have shown enormous courage and strength to have survived your ordeal. It has led to you being able to save my son." He bowed briefly. "I am in your debt for that."

* * *

All eyes turned on her as she left the room, closely followed by Splinter. Her eyes were red from crying and she noticed the worried expression on Raph's face.

"Why has Raphael not been placed in his room?" The rat demanded, glaring at his sons.

"He wanted to wait." Don muttered.

"So…" Mikey grinned eagerly, looking from Splinter to Ruby "…can we keep her?"

A wry smile flitted across the old rat's face. "We will continue this discussion after Raphael has been put to bed."

Raph looked up sharply, opening his mouth to protest.

His father coughed, silencing the red-banded turtle with one stern look. He turned to face his youngest son.

"Now please Michelangelo."

Exchanging glances with Don, Mikey shrugged, easing an arm under Raph who rested on the couch. Leo was on his other side, refusing this time to let anyone else near his younger brother. He placed an almost possessive arm round the young turtle, carefully leading him up the stairs.

Behind them Splinter placed a gentle hand on the small of Ruby's back, nudging her forward.

Still feeling vaguely drained from her conversation she followed the turtles up the stairs to what was apparently Raph's room.

Ruby's first thought was that it needed a good clean.

The turtles placed Raph carefully in his bed, pulling the covers round him tightly. An act he did not seem to appreciate as he shrugged them off moments later, silently demanding an answer from the old rat.

Splinter smiled at his son, turning to face his youngest. "Michelangelo, you will be sharing with Donatello for the time being. Our young guest will be sleeping in your room."

Ruby wasn't sure who exclaimed loudest, her or Leo. Raph smiled gratefully at his father. Don seemed vaguely resigned and Mikey beamed.

Splinter moved toward Raph, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Your friend has great courage my son."

The red-banded turtle glanced at Ruby. "I know," he said simply.

"You need your rest." He looked toward his family; silently demanding they leave the room.

"Father…" Raph's voice came from the bed "…mind if she stays for a bit?"

Splinter seemed surprised by the request, as did Ruby. He nodded his head, bowing one more time at the young woman before ushering the three remaining turtles out the room.

* * *

Outside, Leo turned on his father. "Sensei, how can you trust her?"

Splinter regarded his eldest son thoughtfully for a moment.

"I looked into her eyes my son." He said simply, smiling kindly at the blue-banded turtle before heading back down the stairs accompanied by Don and Mikey.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Special thanks this time (yeah like I ever do anything else) Mikell and Cindy, you girls are truly sensational. You both helped me get unstuck in this chapter, so thankyou, chocolate is on it's way ;-) As always Mikell, you beta'd, you rock :-D Brainfear my loyal reviewer, you're an absolute star. :-) For all the ones who are still sticking with the story and hopefully enjoying it, a huge thankyou, it's appreciated. :-) Usual disclaimer, I don't own anything TMNT related, I only wish I were that talented ;-) Right all together now during this chapter: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!**

A shadowed face loomed out of the darkness. He tried to call out, move away but found an unseen force held him down. Blinding pain cut through him; he opened his mouth to scream but no sound came out.

In the distance, he heard sobbing, quiet and fearful, becoming more persistent with each hot stab cutting through him. An eerie laugh reaching his ears even as he tried to battle the unseen force causing his pain. His limbs heavy, unwilling to cooperate.

His head jerked from side to side, silently pleading; begging for release. The waves of helplessness crashed over him, taunting him. His pride rebelled, making him grit his teeth. He wouldn't give his captor the satisfaction of seeing his fear. He was many things but not a coward. It was all he had, his bravery and stubbornness. They made him who he was. Yet even as he struggled to regain his state of mind, he was aware of the helpless feeling that engulfed him. The fear and panic that this was it. This was where his life would end and he'd never have a chance to tell his family how he really felt.

As bitter tears forced themselves past his closed eyes, he saw the sweet release, the golden eyes that came before his pain was soothed. Easing a different pain at the same time, a long hidden deep resentment that soured his life, controlling his every mood. An angel?

Hot jabs pierced his plastron forcing a yelp to escape his mouth. His eyes scrunched tightly shut. His mind reprimanded him for his show of weakness. He tried to lift an arm to swat his attacker and again that numb aching sensation paralyzed him, forcing him into a state of utter dependence. Dependence on his captor to show him mercy, an act he knew from experience didn't exist in these people.

Sweat dampened his brow, sliding down his face; tasting salty where it met his mouth. His feverish mind trying desperately to latch on to anything that would help keep him sane.

Gentle hands pressed against his brow. Gratefully he leaned into them, welcoming the cool sensation. Rhythmic circles eased the tension in his brow, slowing his shallow breaths.

His eyes opened and locked with golden eyes. He started, closing his eyes again, deciding it might be better to count to ten first. Carefully he prized open one eye; the golden eyes were still there. Cat eyes.

_A cat? How the hell did that get in here? _

Raph opened both eyes as a face came into focus.

_Oh fuck no!_ He thought furiously as he recognized the face. He made a grab for her, causing Ruby to yelp in startled surprise.

"What the hell are you doing here?" maneuvering himself with difficulty to get a better grip on her arms.

"Raph take it easy," she muttered fearfully.

The angry turtle's eyes narrowed on her face. "Come to drug me again?" His voice dripped with disdain.

A hurt look flashed in her eyes. "You were tossing and turning in your sleep, I wanted to make sure you were ok."

"Sure you did," he snarled. "You wanted to make sure I was still willing to play along with your little game!"

Ruby blinked. "What game?"

"Get the weak little turtle to help you escape! Well I got news for you lady," he hauled the young woman against him, wincing slightly as she collided with his wound. "I ain't no one's puppet!"

Ruby's startled expression vanished, instantly replaced by anger. She pushed against him hard, her eyes flashing dangerously in the gloom. "You idiot," she snapped. "First of all, you've already escaped, with my help if you remember and second of all, I never once saw you as some weak little creature I could use!"

"You're using me as a means to an end!" Raph growled, making another grab for her.

Ruby's chin lifted proudly. She let the snarling turtle grab her and haul her back up against him. "What do you care? You're free and back home with your family."

The red-banded turtle looked surprised. He turned his head round. _Home? Am I really home?_

He saw the faint outline of furniture. Felt the warm comfort of his bed beneath him. Gradually his mind cleared, revealing memories of the previous night. He was home. His shallow breaths slowed, the panic engulfing him slowly seeping away; making way for the very conscious feeling of a warm body pressed against his.

Raph's head jerked round, his gaze locking with a furious Ruby. For a brief moment, he felt trapped again as her face glared into his, alarmingly close, forcing reason to disappear from his mind. The angry stare sparkling in her cat like eyes, sent an even more alarming and very new sensation swooping into the pit of his stomach. It felt strangely like a swarm of bees desperately fighting for dominance.

The normally deadened and haunted look he'd grown used to seeing on her face had vanished; making her seem alive and vibrant, the scars on her face barely visible. His eyed drifted down, resting on her lips. They seemed soft and full. He wondered how they would feel against his skin.

Flushing deeply, Raph released her, shaking his head from side to side to clear himself of the strange sensation lurking within him. He pressed a hand against his forehead, leaning back against the bed.

"Sorry," he muttered vaguely.

"If I'd known coming here would upset you this much I'd have stayed where I was!" the young woman snapped crossly.

"No I…" Raph mentally kicked himself. "…I said I was sorry."

_Damn her!_ _What the hell is wrong with me? She's just a girl, some chick that used me to escape. I said I'd help and that's what I'm gonna do. It's no different to every other rescue we've had to do._

Even as Raph thought these words, he felt something tug at him, the warmth of her body burning against him fresh in his mind even as she stood glaring at him. He sighed, pushing himself back up to face her.

"I'm sorry Ruby; it was just a bad dream. I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

She looked suspicious, but relented. She lowered herself cautiously down on the bed. "You want to talk about it?"

Raph shook his head. "You wouldn't wanna know."

She placed her hand over his, startling him. "Try me."

Raph glanced down at their hands; shaking his head again. _What the hell is wrong with me?!_

He gulped. "Just…you know. Thought I was back at that place with him."

He felt a hand under his chin, lifting his face to hers. "I am sorry Raphael."

The red-banded turtle shrugged. "Weren't your fault. I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"You have every right to blame me."

Raph looked stunned. "I don't."

"Could have fooled me."

She smiled at him. The first real smile he'd seen from her since they met, warm and gentle. His eyes rested on her lips again. She was close, very close. All he had to do was lean in and…

He jerked away from her, his heart pounding against his plastron, the bees buzzing angrily in his stomach. God he was delirious. That damned dream had clearly shaken him. Who wouldn't feel weird things after a dreaming something like that.

Ruby sighed deeply, releasing his hand. "I've got some sleeping pills. It might not be a bad idea to take one, just to help you through the night."

Sleeping tablets? Raph looked at her, a questioning frown on his face. She shrugged simply.

"I use them myself, when I need a good night's sleep."

Before he knew what he was doing, he'd placed his hand against her cheek, tracing the faint outlines of her scars. Surprised when she didn't pull away.

"What did he do to you?" He muttered softly, feeling her shrug.

"It's not important. What's important now is you and getting you past this."

Raph couldn't help but smile. He'd been trapped in that house for three days. She'd been trapped for years and yet her only concern was him. Maybe, just maybe, he hadn't been that wrong about her after all.

Ruby's hand closed over his, gently removing it from her face.

"I'll get one for you. You'll need your strength to recover and sleep is an important part of healing."

As the young woman made to leave the bed, Raph's hand closed over hers, pulling her back toward him, panic once again engulfing him.

"Don't!" His voice sounded strained, even to his own ears.

She looked at him, the startled expression back on her face. Raph looked down grimacing.

"Don't leave me," he muttered, embarrassed beyond belief by what he was saying. He wasn't sure what was happening to him, but he knew he didn't want to be left alone.

Mercifully, Ruby said nothing. She simply nodded, moving closer toward him. Raph didn't know what to say. He stared down at his bed sheets. It wasn't until he felt arms come round him that he found the courage to lift his head and look at her. He'd expected to see scorn or disappointment on her face. He hadn't expected to see the gentle understanding and admiration.

Carefully so as not to hurt him, Ruby moved positions. Resting her back against the wall, her arms gently guiding him till he lay in their comforting circle, his head resting against her breast.

Raph's whole body tensed as he listened to the steady thump of her heartbeat. He lay against her, a disturbing feeling rushing through him as he realized his distinct unwillingness to move away. He felt the rise and fall of her chest beneath his head slowly relax him.

Ruby rested her hand on his head, stroking his face. Easing the tension in his body further. His eyes drifting closed, he was only vaguely aware of bringing his arm round her waist and settling himself more comfortably against her.

* * *

Raph opened his eyes and stretched; surprised to feel resistance. Glancing down, he saw Ruby nestled comfortably in the crook of his arm. The red-banded turtle blinked, confused.

He looked round the room. Everything was familiar. So it hadn't been a dream. He really was home. A smile touched his mouth, vanishing instantly as he remembered the previous night. That nightmare, followed by those bizarre feelings.

Raph stared down at the sleeping young woman.

"Ruby." He whispered her name softly, almost wonderingly. Unwilling to wake her. She'd been there again. Seen him in a vulnerable state and hadn't laughed at his weakness. Instead she'd held him until he fell asleep, gently soothing him. Acknowledging his pain and fear. Not once had he seen disappointment or mockery on her face.

He sighed. He was always the tough guy. The angry turtle who usually started all the fights he got into. He often wondered if his family knew there was more to him than just some hot-headed, conflicted mutant turtle. He even wondered himself at times if there was more to him than that. Then there was Ruby. Ruby who had seen him at his worst. Weakened and afraid. Feelings he would readily scorn. Yet she hadn't.

Moving carefully, still unwilling to wake her, he sat up, staring down at her. She looked peaceful, a faint smile resting on her lips as she slept. He wondered if she knew her scars were barely noticeable when she relaxed her features and stopped being so damned conscious of them.

Raph studied her face. The hidden features of a once beautiful girl sparkled from behind the faint outline of those scars. He felt anger rise within him, fury at the man responsible. Fury at Ruby for being so naïve and stupid enough to marry him.

Raph started. He was angry at Ruby for marrying him? How could she have known? The red-banded turtle shook his head. She couldn't have known, so why should he be angry with her? It seemed a rather bizarre feeling.

A stray wisp of hair fell across her face. Without thinking, Raph reached out and brushed it away, his hand lingering on her cheek. Her skin was soft and warm. He flushed, remembering how her body had felt against his.

"Damn dream!" He muttered again, feeling it safer to blame his nightmare rather than explore what else it could have been.

His fingers stroked her cheek absentmindedly as he looked round his room. Everything was just the way he'd left it. The clock on his bed side table showed it was nearly seven in the morning. The lair was amazingly silent for this time.

Raph grinned. _Lazy bastards' probably still sleeping. Boy am I gonna make Leo pay for this one. Mister perfect's usually been up for an hour and practiced all his moves._

The conscious feeling of eyes on him stopped his train of thought. He looked round again to see Ruby's eyes open and confused. His breath caught in his throat as her golden cat eyes stared up into his own amber ones. He'd heard the saying time stood still but had always laughed, putting it down to ridiculous human emotion. Sappy stuff, he liked to call it.

Yet in that instant he realized what it meant. He felt trapped in time, unable to tear his gaze away from hers. _Say something you idiot! _He thought, panicking suddenly.

"Mornin." Raph said finally, attempting a smile.

Ruby looked round from her position on his bed. The usual tension settling on her face, making her scars increasingly visible.

"What…?" She looked embarrassed and distinctly uncomfortable.

The angry turtle grimaced. _She's probably afraid. Who wouldn't be waking up next to a freak._

He felt hurt and anger rise within him.

"You fell asleep in here. Maybe next time you should remember where your temporary room his!" His words held a bite to them.

Ruby sat up instantly, her hands on her hips, glaring at him. The moment between them well and truly passed.

"Maybe next time you should tell me to leave!" She retorted.

_Damn! She's pretty hot when she's mad. _The thought flashed through his mind before he could stop it. What the hell was wrong with him? He was a turtle for fuck's sake. She was a human and an extremely irritating one at that. Always glaring at him, coming up with some response to everything he said.

_Yeah like I'm one to talk. _Raph sighed, rubbing his bald head. He didn't have the energy to argue right now as tempting as the thought was. He couldn't help wondering what might happen if he pushed her buttons too far. It was an extremely pleasant thought and one he definitely should stay as far away from as he could.

Raph glanced at her, a wry grin tugging at his mouth.

"What's so funny?" He heard her demand.

"Not a bad sight." Raph muttered, glancing at her face again, grinning openly as he saw her blush.

The angry turtle sighed, relaxing slightly. He was home with his family and he'd managed to help Ruby in the process. All in all, he was a hero.

He grinned again turning his head toward the still disgruntled Ruby.

"How's about something to eat for your patient?"

"You don't deserve anything!"

"Aw come on.." he smirked "..don't sulk."

Relaxing back into their usual routine, neither of them heard the door to Raph's room open.

"Well isn't this touching!" A voice drawled from the doorway.

Raph jerked his head round. Leo leaned against the doorframe, arms folded in front of him, scowling at Ruby.

"You want something Leo?" Raph demanded, disliking the look on his face.

Leo glanced at his younger brother. "Just came to see if you needed anything, but I see you're in capable hands."

The red-banded turtle growled. "Yeah I am. Thanks anyway!"

With a curt nod in their direction, Leo turned on his heel, slamming the door shut behind him.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Mikell, Cindy. What can I say. That was one traumatic ride huh and I could never have done it without you. You have no idea how much your support and friendship means to me. Thankyou. Of course Mikell, you beta'd so you get an extra cookie :-D Polaris, Mel, Brainfear. You girls rock my world. Thankyou for sticking by me and this fic. Love you girls. Aly my friend, so that's where you've been hiding :-p Don't get too comfortable, we're not done yet, not even close ;-) Everyone who's still reading. I thank you :-) Finally chapter 10 is up and running and for that you can thank my amazing girls Mikell and Cindy as previously stated. The tears, the drama, they suffered it all and hopefully it was worth it :-p **

**Usual disclaimer applies. I do not own anything TMNT related. :-)**

"You ok bro?"

Leonardo slumped into the kitchen, sinking down into a chair, his brow creased. His eyes narrowed. He regarded his youngest sibling thoughtfully for a moment, his hands curling round the cup Donatello handed him.

"Not sure Mike," he sighed, taking a sip and relishing the way the hot liquid soothed the lump in his throat.

"Everything ok with Raph?" Donny asked, sitting down beside him.

Leo snorted, glowering. "If you think suffering from Stockholm syndrome is ok, then yeah, Raph's fine!"

Out the corner of his eye, he saw Don exchange glances with Mikey.

He sighed, dragging a weary hand across his eyes. He hadn't slept well. He'd slept terribly in fact, unable to believe his hotheaded brother was actually home. He'd even snuck into Raph's room at one point, just to convince himself the nightmare was finally over.

The shock he'd felt on finding Ruby there, curled up beside the fiery young turtle had not helped ease his discomfort. Leo wasn't sure why he felt so antagonistic toward the young woman. She'd helped his brother. Surely that meant he should feel grateful.

Donatello had inspected Raphael's wounds thoroughly, confirming their suspicions that whoever had done this to him hadn't intended Raph to live. But he was alive and a part of Leo, the part he desperately tried to listen to, knew it was because of this new friend his brother had made.

A slight frown creased his brow. No matter how hard he tried to tell himself he should be grateful, the other part of him always shouted at the back of his mind.

_She drugged your brother. She stopped Raph coming home to his family._

Leonardo jumped as Mikey's hand descended on his shoulder.

"Raph's gonna be ok bro."

Leo smiled gratefully up at him, squeezing his hand. "I know Mike. I just can't stop thinking how we could have lost him." The blue-banded turtle gulped past the lump that rose in his throat.

"We get it Leo," Don chipped in. "It's hard to believe this happened. I guess some things you're just never prepared for."

Sighing again, Leo managed a weak smile. It was times like these he wished he could hold his fiery young brother as easily as he could hold Don or Mike. That was what he needed right now. To hold Raph and convince himself he was safe.

Leo scowled, fighting the pain that started to clench at his chest. During Raph's absence, all he'd done was pray his brother would come home so he could hold him, apologize and tell him he loved him. He'd been afraid he wouldn't get that chance. Now his brother was home and he did have that chance, it seemed all he could do was make matters worse by lashing out at the woman who'd helped him escape.

It didn't make any sense to Leonardo. He needed guidance to sort through his scattered feelings. Splinter. He needed Splinter.

A low cough brought his thoughts back to the present. Turning his head, his scowl deepened.

Ruby's eyes didn't leave his face. Her hand clutched a backpack, which she held out to Donatello.

"Your brother's medication and other medical supplies he'll need," she said shortly, still staring at Leo.

"Thanks." Leonardo heard his brainy brother reply with a hint of surprise in his voice.

Ruby's eyes left his face, turning to Don. A strained smile flitted across her features.

"I didn't want there to be any more confusion over whose side I'm on," she explained quietly.

"You really think it's that easy?" Leonardo snorted.

Ruby glanced at him. She seemed drained.

"I don't want to fight. Not today." She sounded vaguely defeated, turning on her heel to leave the room.

Leo felt his anger rise up. He stood abruptly, his fists slamming down on the table. "Damn it! I want to know why you drugged my brother!"

Ruby tensed, slowly turning back to face him. "Just be grateful I did Leo," she stated simply, leaving before he had a chance to say anything more.

Leo glared at the vacant spot. His shoulders hunched. _Damn her._

* * *

Raph lay back on the bed feeling frustrated. His mind went over and over what had happened last night. It didn't make any sense to him. Why did he react so strongly to her? He sighed, rubbing his bald head.

_I've never been a vulnerable person. So why does she make me feel so goddammed fragile? _

Glaring at a spot on the wall he tried to think, tried to sort through the alien feelings that kept building inside him whenever she was close.

They'd started simply enough, gratitude to her for soothing his pain, now he seemed more aware of her. He could sense her presence and he wasn't sure he was comfortable with the feeling.

He knew she was coming even before he heard the soft tap on his door. His senses started twitching uncomfortably.

"Want something?" He asked coolly, turning to face her.

"Came to check your bandages."

Raphael sighed, holding out an arm. "Be my guest."

Her approach was cautious. Raph's scowl deepened.

"Take your time!" he snapped.

_Hell you spend one night with a chick an' suddenly she's afraid of ya!_

He yelped when Ruby yanked on his arm.

"What'd ya go an' do that for?"

"Don't take that tone with me!"

Raph blinked, momentarily stunned before bursting into laughter. He made the mistake of looking at her, seeing her indignant expression, which only served to increase his mirth.

After a moment he had no choice but to stop as pangs shot through his plastron. He winced painfully, pressing his hand against the bandaged wound.

"Serves you right!" Ruby muttered crossly, sitting beside him.

Raph's face relaxed slightly. "You gonna get to work?"

"As soon as you tell me what's wrong."

His face instantly fell back into a scowl. "Nothin!" he muttered simply, cursing silently at the faint tingle running up his arm when she placed a hand over his.

"Raph I'm serious. Talk to me."

"There ain't nothing to talk about."

_There ain't. Just cause I'm feeling weird shit, don't mean I gotta tell anyone. It's that damned dream, messing with me. Making me feel things that aren't there._

Raphael glanced at the young woman. Her eyes were scanning his face. He was satisfied he wasn't portraying anything that he shouldn't be.

"This isn't just going to go away," she probed gently, carefully setting to work on his bandages.

Raph turned his head, focusing on a spot on the wall, wincing as she poked the wound on his plastron gently.

"You're lucky. This could have been a lot worse. You weren't cut deep enough to reveal any internal organs."

Raphael's head jerked back toward her. His scowl deepened.

"You call this lucky!"

Ruby sighed, running her fingers over the edges of the wound.

"The scarring should be minimal. With any luck I'll be able to remove the stitches within a week," she went on, carefully prodding the wounds on his arms and thighs.

"Great! Then maybe you'll stop fussing round me!" Raph snorted.

He didn't miss the look Ruby shot him. He didn't care. He didn't like these alien feelings she'd stirred in him. He just wanted things back to the way they were before he met her. Simple and uncomplicated.

He felt Ruby shift slightly, leaning toward him. It annoyed him that this simple act quickened his pulse.

"I have them too Raphael." She muttered softly.

Raph turned slowly to face her, ignoring the flutter in his stomach as his eyes locked with hers.

"You have what?"

"Nightmares. Why do you think I carry sleeping pills with me? There's no shame in it Raph. Talk to me, I can help."

The young turtle's mouth twisted in a sneer. So she felt sorry for him did she? She thought he couldn't handle it.

"I don't need to talk about shit! You can have your nightmares! I'm stronger than that!"

He saw the warning flash in her eyes and it thrilled him. At least with blazing eyes, she stopped tensing her face and accentuating those damned scars. She really was a joy to look at.

He shook his head angrily, frustrated by his train of thought. How dare she suggest he needed help? How dare she think he wasn't strong enough to deal with it?

How dare he keep staring at her lips, remembering the warmth of her arms, her body against his igniting a deep forbidden feeling inside him. He was supposed to be angry for fuck's sake. Now was not the time to start thinking about something he could never have.

"What did you say?" Raph heard her ask. Her voice was shaking.

"How dare you!"

The comment startled him. How dare he what?

"How dare you sit there and claim you're stronger than I am!"

"Hey!" Raph felt his own anger return in force, rising to meet hers. "I don't need to _claim_ shit! It's the truth!"

He felt the sharp sting as her hand connected with his face. Her eyes were damp with unshed tears. Not tears of sadness. He could see it on her face. Tears of pure outrage shimmered in the golden depths of her eyes.

A furious growl erupted deep within his throat. His hands reached out, fingers digging into the soft flesh on her upper arms.

"Don't ever…ever do that again!" His face was close to hers again.

Ruby didn't flinch. She didn't move away. She held his furious gaze steadily.

Her eyes held a challenge that sent sparks shooting through the furious young turtle's body.

It was a moment's madness. Raph had no idea what came over him. She'd hit him across the face and normal procedure would be to hit her back. But this was Ruby. Despite everything, he couldn't hit her.

His body started shaking with the pent up emotions he was trying to keep at bay. His gaze traveled to her lips again.

How it happened, he didn't know. One second his face was close to hers, fighting for control. The next, he'd hauled her hard against him, crushing his mouth down on hers.

He felt Ruby tense in his arms, momentarily too stunned to pull away and he was ashamed to admit he relished the moment.

All too soon, he felt her hands push hard against his plastron.

"What the hell did you just do that for?" Ruby yelled, leaping off the bed and backing hastily away from him.

Raph didn't answer. In truth, he couldn't. He was feeling dazed. Her lips had felt just a little too good against his. The memory of her body pressed close to his was just a little too enticing.

Raising his head slightly, he looked at her face and instantly felt as though he'd just been doused with freezing water. Her face was flushed, eyes wide and frightened.

Reality dealt him a cutting blow. His sneer returned quickly.

"Was either that or return the favour!" He snarled, indicating the red mark on his face. Did he imagine the hurt look he saw flashing briefly in her eyes?

"So you just thought you'd teach me a lesson!" Ruby's voice was reaching hysteria.

"You're all the same aren't you? You just take what you can without any feeling. Not caring who you hurt in the process!"

Raphael was off the bed and on his feet in an instant, ignoring his legs' protest.

"Don't you dare try compare me to him!" Raph roared, not knowing why her words cut him so deeply.

"Why not? You act just like him! You stand there and mock me! Tell me I'm not strong enough!"

"Proof's right there Ruby!" he sneered, his angry tone covering his pain. "You could have left an' you didn't!"

"Left? There was nowhere I could go! Exactly as Sean had intended!"

"An' how the fuck should I know? You don't talk about it! Any time I ask you change the god damn subject!"

Angry tears rolled freely down her face, staining her cheeks.

"You really want to know? You think you can even begin to imagine what my life was like?"

Startling the young turtle completely, Ruby marched boldly up to him, grabbing his hand and pressing it against her face.

"Look what he did to me! Go ahead Raph! Feel it! He did this to me! Scarred me without any remorse! Made me ugly enough that people flinched every time they saw me! Go ahead! Look!"

Raph felt sick. His hand was quickly drenched in her tears. It took all his concentrated effort not too pull her close again. But at the same time, he couldn't understand why she would put up with Sean's abuse. Why would she just stay there?

Struggling to keep his tone as calm as he could, he lowered his voice to a growl.

"You should have left! Hell Ruby, you did leave! If it was easy enough for you to leave with me, then you should have left years ago!"

Exactly where her anger came from he didn't know. He didn't even have time to stumble out the way as her hand slapped sharply across his face again.

"You have no idea Raphael! I felt you remember? I felt you shake with fear! Unable to face what had happened to you! I held you till you fell asleep last night!"

Ruby was clearly beside herself.

"You spent three days there Raph! Don't even begin to try and compare that to three years!"

"Ruby…" he was trying, he wanted to understand. More importantly, right now, he wanted to hold her. His own selfish need to know she hadn't been completely repulsed by his action was blocking out every other rational thought.

"Don't! Don't say another word Raph! I lived it for three years and after all that I'm still standing! Not even you and your high and mighty attitude can take that away from me!"

She turned on her heel heading for the door. Raph followed. His pace was slow, each step agony for him, but he couldn't just let her walk out now. Not like this.

The open door, revealed raised voices coming from downstairs. Familiar voices.

Raphael struggled forward, stopping short when he caught sight of Ruby.

She stood on the landing, looking down at a scene below her. Her body was tense; her eyes terrified. She didn't move. Didn't flinch when he came up behind her. She stayed in the same ramrod position, eyes focused.

Raph's gaze followed hers. Below, looking up, were two familiar faces. One furious, the other curious and it was the curious face that Ruby was staring into.

"You okay Raphie?" Casey asked the red-banded turtle.

Raphael didn't have time to answer. April hurtled up the stairs, clutching the wounded turtle close to her.

"What have you done to him?" April demanded turning on Ruby.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Ah Mikell, what can I say. You're not just a beta, you're an inspiration. Thankyou as always for your guidance and above all, your patience. :-) Cindy, Mel and Polaris, I would not still be going if it wasn't for your support. Love you girls as always :-) Wow, short A/N this time, there's a novelty :-D To all who are still reading, have a drink on me :-D Now I'm expecting gasps at the end here, so start practicing ;-)**

**Disclaimer as per usual: I do not own anything TMNT related. **

Ruby couldn't breathe. She couldn't turn away. All she could do was stare into the piercing blue eyes. She barely noticed the young woman run up the stairs and wrap herself protectively round Raph. She hardly heard the cruel words. The voice was just a distant echo. All she could focus on were those eyes.

Reality faded around her. Sean's eyes stared into hers, cruelly mocking.

"Ruby."

She heard the voice coming from a great distance. Calling her name, but actions failed her. Her body refused to move, to respond to the speaker.

A hand descended on her shoulder causing her to jump violently, wretched eyes turning to the owner. _Raph? What…I don't understand. What have you done?_ Ruby tried to communicate her thoughts. Her mouth was dry. She opened it and closed it. No sound came out. Her throat had closed up, suffocating her.

Her head turned back to face the eyes below._ Sean? How…how did you find me? I don't understand. I was supposed to be safe. He promised I would be. He said I'd be safe._

"Ruby!" The voice spoke again, harsher this time, the hand on her shoulder shaking her. Her head jerked round again, trying to focus. Trying to glare at whoever was shaking her. Her mind told her it was Raph. She could vaguely make out the red mask accentuating the hot, amber eyes. But for some reason, her mind refused to convey this message to her mouth. She couldn't utter his name.

Footsteps came up the stairs. The piercing blue eyes loomed toward her. Jerking free from the hand on her shoulder, Ruby backed up. Panic closed in on her as her back made contact with the wall. She shook her head from side to side, trying to focus on something, anything but those eyes.

_Raph, how…how could you do this to me? You said I'd be safe. You promised me._

"Hey…um…you ok?"

Ruby heard the voice, but couldn't decipher where it was coming from. There was a hint of confusion in the tone. Logic was screaming at her that this couldn't be Sean. Raph would never have handed her back to him. At least, she didn't think he would. But there was one turtle that might.

Tearing her eyes away from Sean's eyes, Ruby searched for the blue mask. Leonardo, he might just have done this. He sure as hell hated her enough. Her eyes found her target. The blue mask accentuating angry hazel eyes. Her throat worked, but even to her own ears, the voice coming out her mouth belonged to a stranger. The wretched fear couldn't be hers. She'd spent years teaching herself to hide any sign of fear. Knowing it only aroused Sean.

"What have you done?"

"That's what I wanna know!" Leonardo's voice was harsh. "What did you do to my brother?"

Ruby didn't understand the question. But somehow, she managed to answer. "I helped him."

"You stopped him coming home to us! You call that help?"

"Leo. Bro take it easy."

Ruby heard the voice, thrilled to recognize it. Donatello. So she hadn't gone completely insane then. She still knew who everyone was.

_Focus Ruby. Answer the question. One step at a time. Don't lose track of reality; just answer the question._

Her eyes found the blue mask again. "I didn't know he had a family. I helped the only way I could."

"By drugging him?" Leo sounded incredulous, his eyes blazing into hers. For some reason it gave Ruby comfort. Something else to focus on besides Sean's eyes that kept staring at her, silently mocking, daring her to challenge him. She knew the price for challenging him. She'd always know.

"Would you have preferred me to let him feel the pain?"

She heard the snarl, saw him clench his fists. She backed up, terror clutching her heart when she realized she couldn't back up any further. She was trapped. Everywhere she looked angry faces glared into hers. What had she done to deserve this?

"I'm with you Leo!"

Ruby scanned the sea of faces looking for the female who'd spoken. She found her, draped protectively round Raph.

"Who are you?" Ruby was pleased to hear her voice sounded stronger, her question demanding.

"I'm their friend!"

"And what would you have done?"

Satisfaction oozed through Ruby's body. Her question had startled the woman. Only momentarily though. The redhead was quick to recover.

"I'd have done the only decent thing! I'd have let him go!"

It struck Ruby suddenly that this rather irritating female actually had no idea what had happened. Leo would have told her the story. But the only two who knew exactly what had transpired in that house were her and Raph. Raph! He'd suddenly gone very quiet. Was he enjoying this? She stared at him accusingly, not liking the way he was hiding behind this woman. He should be facing her dammit.

"I just tried to help you!"

Raphael moved suddenly, gripping her arms. "I know!"

His voice was gruff. "Get a grip Ruby! I know."

"Why would you do this to me?" Ruby's voice broke, tears spilling out her eyes. She placed her hands against his plastron, pushing weakly against him. He let go instantly; something very close to hurt crossing his features.

"Leave him alone!"

"Take it easy April." The voice that spoke was genuinely concerned. Ruby didn't recognize the voice, but it came from the direction of Sean's eyes.

"Sean?"

"The name's Casey."

From somewhere, Ruby heard an angry growl, felt hands descend on her shoulders shaking her roughly.

"Get over it Ruby!" Raph's voice was harsh, his face furiously glaring into hers, demanding a response. She couldn't give one.

"He ain't here! Just get over it!"

_Get over it? You think it's that simple? Sean protected me. Looked after me, and then turned on me. I don't know why. I don't know what I did to turn him against me._

"Raph leave her!" Don's voice cut sharply through her thoughts.

"Donny, she's…"

"No Raph!" His voice sounded urgent. "Just let her go."

Raphael obeyed the command with difficulty, slowly releasing Ruby. Donatello suddenly stood in front of her, forcing her to try to back up further. She was convinced if she pressed hard enough against this wall it would give way eventually.

A light shone in her eyes. Ruby lashed out.

_No! Not my face! Not again. Please, don't hurt me. Don't do this. Not again, please._

"Take it easy." Don's voice was gentle. He tried to grab hold of her arms, backing away slowly when she let out a terrified cry.

"It's ok." He held up his hands for her to see. "I'm not going to hurt you."

Ruby's hands grabbed wildly at her face. "Please. Don't do this."

* * *

"Don what the hell's wrong with her?" Leo demanded, looking at Ruby's pale and terrified face.

"If I had to guess? I'd say she's suffering from some sort of flashback. She's trying to make sense of everything but she can't."

"What the fuck does that mean?" Raph cut in furiously, staring at Ruby, frustration clear on his face.

"I don't know Raph. But it started when she saw you." Donny turned to face Casey.

Casey looked confused. "Me? What did I do?"

"I don't think you did anything."

"She called him Sean." Mikey spoke up for the first time. He'd been standing to the back, watching the scene unfold before them.

Raphael emitted another growl. Approaching Ruby, who'd sunk to the ground clutching her face, he grabbed her hands, forcing them away.

"Raph I really wouldn't do that." Don urged him.

"Get a hold of yourself Ruby! He ain't here! Sean ain't here! Get over it!"

Somehow, Ruby must have heard him. Her hands wrenched free from Raph's grasp, clutching his face. "Make it go away." She pleaded.

"How? Just tell me how."

Ruby sobbed brokenly. "I don't know."

"What is happening here?" A gravely voice demanded from behind the crowd.

Splinter rushed forward, a concerned expression on his face.

"Leonardo! What has transpired here?"

The blue-banded turtle looked vaguely shocked. "I don't know sensei. She froze."

"But why? For what reason?"

Leo didn't answer.

"They were yelling at her." Mikey offered, glaring at his oldest brother.

"Who?" Splinter demanded, facing his youngest son.

"They were." Mikey pointed toward Leo and April.

Splinter looked from one to the other. "But why? For what reason?"

"Father…" Leo pleaded. "…I needed to know why she drugged my brother."

"And you Miss O'Neil?"

"I…" The redhead flushed. "…I was worried about Raph. We both were." April turned to her husband, silently pleading for his support.

"I see. Did you get your answers?"

"No." Leo muttered regretfully. "She just kept repeating the same thing."

Splinter turned stern eyes on him. "I have already informed you I believe the young lady acted with the best intentions. Why did you not trust my instincts."

"But Sensei. I…"

"She won't talk about it." Raph growled from his position on the floor. His arms gently cradled Ruby against him.

"I'm afraid I do not understand." Splinter said, a note of impatience to his voice.

"She's suffering some sort of flashback sensei." Don interjected, stepping forward to join the two on the floor.

"Understandable. She has been through a lot."

Raphael turned to his father. "You know?"

The old rat inclined his head, placing a comforting hand on Ruby's shoulder. "I know. But what was said between myself and the young lady will remain between us until she herself decides the time is right to inform you of her troubles."

Splinter turned back to Leo. "I suggest we get her calmed down and into bed. There will be no more interrogations tonight. I have spoken to Ruby and satisfied myself that she meant no harm to anyone."

Donny got to his feet. "The backpack. She said Raph's medication was in there. Maybe whatever sedative she used on him is in there."

"A wise idea my son." The rat nodded kindly. "Go and bring the contents here."

"Well." Don rubbed his head. "I wouldn't know how much to give her."

"I might be able to help." April spoke up quietly. "I don't know much about first aid, but I know enough to recognize a suitable dose."

Again Splinter nodded. "Very well. Donatello…"

"Yes Sensei." The brainy turtle bowed briefly.

He returned moments later clutching the backpack. "Let's see." He rummaged through the contents.

"Here." April said, reaching out. "Let me."

She searched through the bag. "I think this is it." She removed a needle and vial. "Morphine?" She looked surprised.

"What?" Don looked shocked. "That's what she used on Raph?"

"Is that bad?" Mikey asked, his voice quiet.

"Morphine's not a sedative Mike. It's a very potent and highly addictive pain killer."

"So that's bad right. Highly addictive, is bad."

Donny shrugged. "It is if she used too much of it over a long period of time. But the dosage she used suggests she just wanted to relieve Raph's pain. I just don't get how she sedated him as well."

"Diazapam." Ruby spoke quietly, shoulders hunched. "That's what Sean uses. It's the most commonly used sedative and muscle relaxant. He says it has the desired effect. Reducing his patients…" she scrunched her nose up at the word "…to helpless victims. Completely dependent on him. That's what I used on Raph."

"Valium?" Don's knowledge extended that far. "How many times?"

"Twice. Generally I crushed sleeping pills into his food to help him sleep. I only gave him a shot of Morphine when the pain got too much for him."

Ruby was looking at Raph, tears rolling down her cheeks. "I'm sorry. Leo's right. I should have let you go sooner. I just wanted to help."

She looked completely drained. Refusing to look anyone in the eye, except Raph.

"I know you did."

"So you don't hate me?"

Raphael laughed. "Might make things easier if I did."

Ruby looked confused. "I don't understand."

"Don't worry bout it."

Splinter reached for Ruby, gently prying her away from the red-banded turtle. His kindly face looked into hers.

"Are you alright my child?"

"I don't know." Ruby replied honestly. She looked round at the faces surrounding her. Her gaze landing on Casey.

"I'm sorry." She muttered briefly. "I…you looked familiar."

"Hey, don't sweat it. You ain't the first one to go nuts." He glanced at April who glared at him.

Ruby flinched at his words.

"Nice going idiot." Raph snarled at him.

"Hey I didn't mean…"

Splinter raised a hand, silencing the human. "Perhaps it would be wise to end this now." He got to his feet, holding out a hand to Ruby, which she gratefully accepted. "Come. You should rest now. The rest of you…" he turned to face his sons. "I want you down in the dojo now, running through your training. Raphael, you will join your brothers and watch."

* * *

Mikey flicked through the channels, his gaze drifting every so often to the top floor. A good couple of hours had passed since the scene on the landing.

"Is she gonna be ok Sensei?"

Splinter smiled kindly at the youngest turtle. "Only time will tell my son. Have faith."

Leo stood glumly to one side, his arms folded in front of him.

"You ok Leo?" April asked, glancing at Raph who sat scowling on the couch.

"Leonardo. I wish to speak to you."

Leo tensed at the stern tone his father used. "Yes Sensei."

He followed his father through to the kitchen. Splinter set to work, making him and his tempestuous son some tea. As he worked, he spoke calmly to Leonardo.

"There is something troubling you my son?"

Leo sighed. "I just…I don't understand how you can trust her. After everything she did. She kept Raph away from us."

"I see. You do not trust my judgment."

Leo shook his head fiercely. "No father. It's not that. Of course I do but…"

Splinter sighed, pouring the tea. He handed the eldest turtle his cup, regarding him quietly as they drank for a moment in silence together.

"Have you considered that perhaps she is not the one you are truly angry with?"

Leo looked stunned. "I…Sensei…I don't know what you mean."

The old rat's ears twitched briefly, a smile settling on his features. "The events that transpired before your brother disappeared. Perhaps they are preventing you from acknowledging the facts and listening to your heart."

Leonardo flushed deeply. The fight with his brother. The cruel words spoken. Had he been taking his anger at himself out on Ruby? Before Leo could contemplate this further, they heard an angry shout come from the next room.

"Raph, you need to chill bro, seriously."

"Oh is that what I need to do Mike? I need to chill?"

"Raphael!" Splinter's voice stopped the furious turtle in his tracks.

"What happened bro?" Leo asked, concern creasing his face.

"Why don't you ask Don?" Raph snarled, glaring at his brainy brother.

Donny tensed, casting an apologetic look at Splinter. "Well, you see. The thing is…".

"Show 'im Don!" Raph growled, his hands already searching for his sai, growling deeply when he realized they weren't there.

"Show me what?" Splinter asked sharply.

Donatello reluctantly handed his father a sheet of paper. It was missing person's report. On the front, staring sadly up at him was Ruby.

Splinter looked up sharply. "Go and see if she is alright. Raphael, you will remain calm. As long as she is here, she is safe."

There was another shout from the landing this time. "Ok. So do we panic now then?" Don appeared at the top of the stairs, his face pale.

"What is wrong?" Splinter urged.

"She's not there Sensei."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: As always a huge thankyou goes to Mikell for beta-ing, I just couldn't do it without you. You're the driving force behind the updates and you know it. :-) Cindy, Polaris, Mel, Brainfear, what would I do without you girls, your reviews, kind words and friendship keep me and this fic going. Thankyou for more than you know. :-) Aly, you're my star and you know it my friend. Thankyou for your review and Storm Seer a huge thankyou to you as well for taking the time to review :-) Nothing enspires an author more than appreciative readers, so for those of you who are reading and especially those who are taking that little bit of extra time to review, thankyou, seriously, it means a lot.**

**Disclaimer as per usual: I do not own any characters from TMNT, they belong to their own respective creators and I of course make absolutely no profit from this fic.**

Raphael was by the stairs in an instant, unaware of actually moving.

"What da ya mean, she ain't there?"

"Exactly what I said Raph." Don glanced behind him, a worried frown creasing his brow. "She's not there."

"Donatello." Splinter's firm tone reached their ears. "Where did you get this?"

He was looking down at the paper, the sad face that looked up at him.

"I brought it. It was with the morning paper." April replied gently, casting apologetic glances at Raph.

"I thought it might be something you guys could…you know." She trailed off, looking to Casey for support.

Casey didn't respond; his eyes were fixed on his friend. "You ok Raph?"

Raphael growled. "Fine!" He turned on his eldest brother, his eyes flashing.

"This is your fault, Leo!"

Leonardo bristled, "You don't need to tell me that Raph! I already know I messed up!"

"You just couldn't leave it could ya! I told you she helped me, but that weren't enough for you! You just had to keep pushing and now she's fucking bailed! That psycho's after her…"

"Raphael!" Splinter silenced him. "This will not help. Our priority now must be to find the young lady and return her to safety."

"I don't understand. She was supposed to take a sleeping pill and rest." Donny spoke his thoughts aloud.

"Evidently, she did not do so."

"But…Sensei, where would she go? We're in the sewers; she has no idea where she's going…"

Splinter raised his furry hand again. "I am aware of the predicament Donatello. Never-the-less, she has chosen to leave. I do not believe she is aware of the danger."

"I'll go." Leonardo said suddenly.

"You ain't going nowhere near her!"

"Raph let me do this. Let me find her."

"I'll go." Mikey spoke up, reaching for his nunchukas.

"Might not be a bad idea." Don interjected, still casting worried glances behind him. "Out of the three of us, Mikey's the one who made her feel welcome."

Raph watched Leo's shoulders tense.

_Yeah you heard 'im Fearless! Couldn't just let it go could ya! No telling where she is or what state she's in, but you ain't going near her. I gotta find her._

"I'm going!" Raph said, still glaring at his eldest brother.

Donatello shook his head. "Raph, you can't, you're not in any shape to go out."

"Donatello is correct my son." Splinter said gently, looking from Don to Leo.

"I believe the wisest course of action would be for you two to find her. Michelangelo and I will remain here with Raphael."

"Sensei, you can't be serious! He's the one who drove her away in the first place!" Raph stared at his father in disbelief.

"Never-the-less, it is what I have decided." The old rat's tone was firm, leaving no room for argument.

He turned to face Leo and Don. "I am trusting you both to return her safely."

"Yes…Father." Leo replied, with a grateful smile.

He nodded briefly at Donny who leapt lightly down to the ground, ready to follow his brother.

"Hey Leo!" Raph's voice stopped the blue-banded turtle in his tracks.

Moving awkwardly forward, his hand pressed tight against his plastron, Raphael approached his brother.

"If anything happens to her…"

Leo reached out, placing a hand on Raph's shoulder. Raph tensed, but didn't move away, possibly because Splinter was watching him closely.

"I'll find her Raph. You can count on it."

"You'd better!"

* * *

Sean relaxed back in his chair, a lazy smile on his face as he examined the morning paper.

"Ah, Ruby. Poor, simple Ruby. Did you honestly believe I would let you leave?"

His blue eyes flicked over the missing persons report, his wife's scarred and saddened face stared back at him.

"Freak attracts freak. Maybe that's why you foolishly helped it escape." Sean leaned forward in his chair, his eyes narrowing on Ruby's face. "What was it about this creature that led you to believe you could get away?"

Reaching out to the table beside him, he picked up a corked test tube and swirled the thick red liquid inside it. "Never mind. You can run, but you can't hide. I'll find you; it's only a matter of time. A face like yours isn't easy to disguise dear wife and once I've found you…"

Sean uncorked the test tube with one hand, taking a deep sniff, his piercing blue eyes sparkling. "…I have ways of making you listen and you will listen to me, you'll have no choice. Not if you really do want to save it."

Carelessly, he dropped the report down on the table, replacing the cork as he did so.

Sean reached into his pocket and withdrew a lighter. Placing it against the sheet of paper, he watched with sadistic pleasure as the flames licked and danced across her face, creasing the features as the paper started to burn.

With one quick swipe of his hand, he dragged the report off the table, watching it drop into the metal rubbish bin under the table.

Sean laughed, wrapping his hand round the bottle of vodka that sat on the floor beside him. He poured a generous amount on top of the fire burning gently in the bin, his laugh increasing as the flames leapt higher, consuming Ruby's face.

"Only a matter of time Ruby. But you'll pay, in the end, you always pay."

* * *

Raph's wounds screamed in protest at the brutal torture they were being put through.

A roundhouse kick, followed by a flying dragon kick. A sidekick, followed by a left hook, a right hook. Sweat poured down the turtle's brow, his teeth gritted in concentration, ignoring the painful pull of his stitches as his muscles strained beneath them.

"Er Raph? I'm not sure you should be doing that Bro." Mikey sounded worried.

"Stay…out…of…this…Mike!" Raph managed to snap in between grunts.

"Dude you seriously need to chill, this isn't going to help anyone."

With a snarl of rage, Raph grabbed his sai from his belt, hurling it at his brother. It landed by the youngest turtle's foot, embedded in the dojo mat.

Mikey blinked, staring down at the metal object. Slowly he lifted his head, his gaze locking with Raphael's.

"Feel better now?"

"Not even close!"

Raphael turned back to his punching bag. "Hey," he cried as Mikey kicked him from behind, sending the muscular turtle colliding into the heavy bag. He whirled round, one sai at the ready, glaring at Mikey.

"What the fuck did you just do that for?" He demanded fiercely.

"You wanna get it out of your system Raphie boy? Give it your best shot!"

Raphael stared in disbelief at his baby brother. Michelangelo's face was twisted with anger, an accusatory glare dancing in the soft brown eyes.

"I ain't gonna fight you Mikey." Raph replied, trying to keep his tone calm.

Mikey picked up the sai that lay at his feet, tossing it at Raph.

"Why not? You wouldn't hesitate if it were Leo! Well I'm your brother too Raph, so if you got something you need to get off your shell…"

"That's different!"

"How? You think he's the only one capable enough to deal with your moods?"

"No! I think he's the only one that pisses me off enough to make me fight 'im!"

Mikey's eyes narrowed, his hands clutching his nunchukas. With one flip he stood in front of Raph, pushing him back against the punch bag.

"You're an idiot! A selfish idiot! You have no idea do you Raph? Not once since you've been back have you thought to ask us if we were ok! You've been off in your own little world, poor mixed up Raphie, not once thinking how we must have felt with you being gone!"

Raph blinked, seeing the tears in Mikey's eyes, the pain flashing across his face. He tried to swallow his pride, tried to reach out for his brother, but Mikey wasn't in any state to be forgiving. He pushed against Raphael again, the challenging glare written clearly in his eyes.

With an angry grunt, Raph pushed heavily back, sending the young turtle flying backwards.

"Ask you how you felt Mike? Is that what you want me to do? What about me? Have any of you thought to ask how I felt? I was trapped Mikey! I didn't know if I would ever see any of you again! How the fuck do you think that made me feel?"

"You left, Raph!" Mikey bit back. "You argued with Leo and left! You didn't come home and we didn't know if you were dead or alive and Leo…Leo couldn't do anything dude! He barely slept during those three days, trying to stay strong for us and all you can do is yell at him!"

"He's the reason Ruby's gone!" Raph roared back, his knuckles whitening as he clutched his sai, crossing them in front of him.

"Yeah, maybe, but why do you care anyway? She's just a human!"

Raphael roared again, flinging himself on top of his brother.

"Don't you talk about her like that! Don't you ever…she's the reason I'm here! If it weren't for her, I don't know how long that fucking psycho would have kept me there! How long I'd have managed to survive what he did to me! She kept me sane Mikey! She helped me escape so I could come home; that was the only thing that mattered to me! She's more than just some human Bro, much more than that!"

Mikey's feet connected with Raph's plastron, narrowly avoiding the aching wound. With one hard shove, Raph found himself sprawled onto his shell, his baby brother straddling him, grabbing his wrists.

Somehow, through the haze of fury that engulfed him, he could just make out Mikey's grin.

"Now do you feel better?"

Raphael felt his anger leave him as quickly as it had risen. His chest heaved as he tried to regain control of his breathing. He looked up at the cocky turtle, a faint growl sounding deep in his throat. He pushed the younger turtle off him feeling slightly dazed.

It took a while for Raph to see the hand Mikey extended to him. Glaring at the orange-banded turtle, Raph took his hand and allowed himself to be helped back onto his feet.

"No more baiting me Bro." He muttered gently, punching Mikey lightly on the arm.

"But you feel better right? I helped?"

Raph felt his face split into an affectionate grin. "Yeah Bro, you helped."

"Awesome dude. See," Mikey returned the punch, careful not to hit the stitched area, which miraculously had survived its ordeal. "I'm more than just a pretty face."

Raphael chuckled, running a hand over his domed head. "Listen Bro…you gotta know, I never…" he broke off with a sigh.

"I know." Mikey replied gently, placing a comforting hand on his brother's shoulder. "Just…don't go scaring us like that again. You're a hothead for sure, but you're still our brother and we kinda love you dude."

"Yeah I know." Raph sighed, grabbing Mikey in a headlock and rubbing his fist against the youngest turtle's head.

"Ow!" Mikey objected loudly, forcing himself free. His face softened beneath his grin.

"So you'll talk to Leo right?"

Raphael sighed again. "Mikey…" he grinned when he noticed his brothers demanding glare "…yeah ok…" he held up his hands in an act of surrender "…I'll talk to Leo, if it'll get ya to shut up."

"Cool." Michelangelo returned the smile. "And while you're at it, you might wanna talk to Ruby."

Raph's face dropped, a scowl replacing his grin. "That ain't gonna happen Bro an' you know it."

"Why not?"

"Cause…" the red-banded turtle shrugged, "…it just ain't an option."

"You're attracted to her?"

"I dunno Bro." Raphael fiddled with his belt absentmindedly. "I dunno what I'm feeling."

Mikey adopted a studious expression, an expression Donny frequently used while examining the Battle Shell. "If you ask me, there has to be something going on, for you to see her as more than just some human."

"She's a human who saved my life Bro."

"Yeah…but she's still a human and you've never really cared that much about humans. Except April and Casey and to be honest Bro, I've never seen you look at either of them the way you do at her and they've saved our lives many times."

Raphael considered this. It was true, April and Casey had been there for them on more than one occasion. They were the only humans he'd ever known that he could rely on and neither of them had ever given him a strange aching feeling in the pit of his gut.

Raph growled softly; he didn't want to think about this. It wasn't important. What was important was Ruby being found and Raph healing. He wasn't done with the scum that had done this to her, he'd find him and make him pay, one way or the other.

Raphael felt Mikey punch his arm again lightly. "Come on, you'd better get some rest and Sensei will wanna know you're still alive."

"Why didn't he stop you?" Raph was curious.

"Guess he could see you needed to get some things off your chest as well. Besides, I promised Father I wouldn't hurt you."

Raph blinked. "You know something Bro? You're a lot smarter than you look."

Mikey grinned. "I know, I'm awesome. I just hide it real well."

"If you tell anyone about this!" Raph's scowl was back.

"Hey, don't sweat it Bro. Your secret is safe with me." Mikey grinned wickedly. "Though you know I'm gonna keep bugging you till you talk to her."

"Come here chucklehead!" Raph growled affectionately, grabbing his brother in another headlock. He released him almost instantly, looking into his energetic brother's face, a serious expression crossing his own.

"Hey Mike, just so you know…" he took a deep breath "…you know I love you too, right?"

Raphael didn't think it was possible for Mikey's grin to get any wider, but somehow, the youngest turtle managed it, hurling himself against Raph and clutching him to his plastron.

"I know." Mikey said, grinning through the tears, Raphael felt drop on his shoulder. "I'm just glad you finally said it Bro."

Raph patted Mikey's shell awkwardly. "Yeah yeah, guess I'm growing up." He felt Mikey shake his head.

"Nah Bro, you're just finally accepting who we are." Mikey let go of Raph, wiping his nose with his hand, his grin still firmly in place even as his cheeks stained with tears.

"Let's go eat and then it's bed rest for you."

Raphael growled. "Don't push it Mike," he muttered crossly.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: A huge huge thank you to my wonderful beta Mikell. As always, I could never have done it without you. You beta, you tweak, you inspire, you rock ;-) Cindy, Polaris, Mel, Brainstorm and FairDrea thanks for all your guidance and support, you girls are totally awesome. :-) Storm Seer, a huge huge thankyou again for your review. I'm always happy to hear from my readers and I'm thrilled you're enjoying the story :-) Wow, what's going on, yet another short A/N. In truth I think I'm still in shock, Leo's finally cooperating. It's a miracle.**

**Disclaimer as per usual: I do not own anything TMNT related and do not make any profit out of writing this fic.**

Leonardo glanced at Donatello. His brainy brother's worried face hadn't changed since they'd started searching. Don looked from side to side, his dark brown eyes alert, his Bo clenched tightly in his hands.

"We'd better split up." Leo said. "You go topside and see if you can find anything. I'll stay down here.

Donny nodded his head. "Ok Leo, call me if you find anything."

Leo returned the nod, heading off in a southward direction. Behind him he heard Don sigh deeply and head off in a northward direction.

_Ok, so it's up to me now. Think Leo, focus on your surroundings, focus on your thoughts._

Leo kept to the shadows, force of habit. He knew they were in the sewers, with no real chance of anyone finding them, but there was a threat looming over his family and as yet, Leo had no idea what Sean wanted or what he was capable of, but from the looks of Raph's body and Ruby's face, he was beginning to have a pretty good idea. He walked round once, ending up back where he had started having come full circle. He'd found nothing.

Reaching for his cell, Leo called Donny.

"You find anything Bro?"

"Nothing so far Leo. I'm not sure she would have come this far." Don's voice crackled down the phone.

"Ok, well, keep looking, call me if you find anything."

"Same to you Leo."

Leonardo sighed with frustration. Maybe in his anxiety he'd missed something. He couldn't give up now, not when he'd promised Raph he'd find her.

Clearing his mind to focus on the task at hand, he made the circuit again, vaguely surprised when he finally caught sight of Ruby. He'd passed this spot earlier, but hadn't seen the young woman curled up in the pipe, facing the wall; her nails scraping against the metal, muttering to herself.

"You know…" Leo started, folding his arms, "…People usually go further when they're trying to run."

"You already passed this spot. Shouldn't you keep moving?" Ruby's reply sounded drained, almost hopeful as though she really did want him to just keep walking.

Leonardo looked round him. Five-hundred feet, that's the distance she had run, before curling up in a pipe.

"I could, but that would defeat my reason for being out here in the first place."

Ruby sighed, relenting enough to roll over and face him. She pushed herself into a sitting position and glared at him.

"So what do you want?"

Leo attempted a smile. "Move over," he said gently, surprised when she grudgingly complied.

Awkwardly, he climbed in beside her and sat facing her. "So why'd you run?"

"Why do you care?"

Leo sighed, she wasn't going to make this easy for him and he couldn't say he blamed her. "In my experience, people only run when they have something to hide."

"Well your experience doesn't really stretch that far then does it!"

"Ok, so enlighten me. Why did you run?"

Ruby shrugged. "Seemed like a good idea at the time."

"To run five-hundred feet?" Leo sounded incredulous.

Ruby blinked. "That's all? I thought I'd gone further than that."

Leonardo considered this. It was possible she'd traveled further but come round in a circle, just as he had done.

"How'd you even get out without us seeing you?"

Ruby shrugged again. "You were busy training, whatever that means. Besides, I've learned to be quiet."

"Ok, but you know Raph's going crazy now right?"

"Why?"

It was Leo's turn to shrug. "Beats me."

"That's…not really helpful."

In spite of himself, Leonardo laughed. "Probably not, but unfortunately, I rarely know what's going on in my brother's head."

"You ever thought to just ask him?"

Leo snorted. "Yeah, you don't know Raph very well."

Ruby looked at him strangely. "He always answers when I ask him," she replied softly.

He was definitely surprised by that. His hot-headed brother actually spoke to her about what he was thinking? Raph usually went with the view that seeing as they were brothers, they should automatically know exactly what the other was the thinking and feeling and in most cases, it was true, but Raph was a puzzle only Mikey seemed to be able to figure out.

"Let's just say he never feels that chatty with me. Not enough to share." Leo heard the bitterness in his own voice. A lifetime of being brothers and needing to feel close to Raph, only to be pushed away every single time he tried had left him frustrated.

"So maybe try asking like a brother instead of demanding answers."

Leonardo looked up sharply, his gaze locking with Ruby's. She was watching him closely, her eyes held a challenging sparkle, daring him to disagree.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Leo demanded.

"You know what it means. Since I've been here, not once have you asked me why I did what I did. You demanded to know. Expecting me to just fall in line and obey. That doesn't really inspire confidence."

"It's never failed me before!" Her words cut him. He was the leader, the one always expected to have all the answers. He had to be strong and guide the others. They were his responsibility.

"Then how come you never know what Raph's thinking?"

"Hey! It's none of your business anyway!"

Ruby didn't back down. "Ok, so why don't you ask me what you want to know?"

Leo felt his anger well inside his chest. "I've already asked you, more than once! I wanna know why you drugged my brother!"

"You're not asking though." Ruby explained patiently. "You're demanding and even if I tell you the truth, it's likely you won't believe me, seeing as you believe you have everything figured out."

This conversation was starting to frustrate Leo. Where the hell did she get off talking to him like this? Somehow though, he didn't move, he stayed sitting beside her, glaring at her.

"Ok." He heaved a deep sigh, struggling to keep his tone as calm as possible. _I'm doing this for Raph. I just gotta remember that. _"Why did you drug my brother?"

"I reacted on instinct and because it was the only thing I dared do."

Of all the answers Leo had been expecting, that was not one of them. "I don't understand."

"I wouldn't expect you to." Ruby sighed, shifting slightly. "I ran because I needed time to think. I needed to sort out for myself what was going on."

"You find your answers?"

"Not really." Ruby smiled. "But, I did figure out you deserve to know the truth."

Leonardo regarded the woman calmly. "I figure I do too."

Ruby's eyes narrowed. "You know this conversation is going to take a hell of a long time if you keep interrupting!" she snapped.

"Ok, so talk." He held up his hands when she glared. "Please," he muttered through gritted teeth.

Ruby sighed, dragging a hand through her hair. "I'm not sure when it happened. When I started blaming myself, but I can tell you when he broke me." Her hand reached out involuntarily to touch her face and Leo needed no confirmation on who she was talking about.

"He worked on me for six hours, while I struggled with each cut to focus on the pain, just because it was something, a reminder I was alive, that I could still feel. Then suddenly, I just…didn't. I didn't feel the pain anymore; my face was numb and I knew he hadn't given me anything. I just…couldn't feel anymore, just my own blood running down my face. After he was finished, he left me there, strapped down and I closed my eyes and prayed for death."

Leo fought the urge to feel sorry for her. He figured that at least was something she deserved. "Why didn't you just leave?"

"I didn't have the strength. Besides, everyone avoided me after that. I wasn't much to look at. I had the kind of face you might see in a horror movie or something."

"It's not that bad." Leo offered gently, receiving a snort in response.

"Not anymore it's not, but if you'd seen it back then…time helped the scars fade a little, but the memory of how they were done…I see it ever single time I look in the mirror. They're a constant reminder of when Sean broke me."

"But what does this have to do with Raph?" Leo needed to know, it wasn't that he was unsympathetic to her pain, but he needed to know why she had just left his brother in the same situation.

"I was broken. I couldn't do anything to help Raph."

Ruby glared at him, tears welling in her eyes.

"It's not the physical pain that gets to you in the end! It's the wondering over and over what went wrong, what did you do to deserve this! Physical wounds heal, but the memory stays. The longer you stay trapped, the more you care about nothing but it ending and you'll do anything for that!"

Leo stared at her. He was becoming more and more certain he'd somehow been very wrong about her and still he couldn't be sure why she hadn't let Raph go.

"But I don't understand…" he probed again gently.

"You keep telling me I should have let him go! Maybe I should, but I couldn't! I didn't have the courage or the strength! I just…" she sighed again, running the back of her hand angrily across her eyes "…Sean cut him with a scalpel, taking his time to examine every single wound, not caring how deep he cut or how badly he hurt him. I'm a doctor's daughter; I did what I could afterwards. I stitched the wounds and gave him something to numb the pain and help him sleep. That's all I dared do."

"What changed?"

Ruby snorted again, louder this time. "Raph opened his eyes and thanked me! He actually thanked me! I was keeping him trapped and at Sean's mercy without even realizing it and your brother thanked me for taking care of him!"

Scratching his bald head, Leo looked at her, trying to make sense of what she was saying. "You helped him go," he muttered feebly, not really knowing what else to say.

"I couldn't do anything else." Ruby replied, sounding exhausted, staring at the pipe wall. "Something in the way he looked at me when he thanked me…it reminded me who I used to be, what I believed in. I saw my chance to escape and I took it. Can you understand that?"

"So…it had nothing to do with Raph?"

Ruby let out a frustrated cry, slamming her hand down against the metal pipe. "Weren't you even listening? Of course it had something to do with Raph! It had everything to do with him! I intended to help him get away and knew I had my chance to escape at the same time! That's what I'm trying to tell you! Your whole family, apart from you, is thanking me for saving your brother when he's the one who saved me! He reminded me who I was; without him, I don't even know how long I'd have survived!"

"Hey, take it easy." Leo muttered, trying to place a hand on her arm, only to have her shrug it off.

"Do you understand now Leo?"

Leonardo thought for a moment, trying to go over the conversation in his mind. To his surprise, he realized he did understand, at least, in part he did. She'd given him what he wanted; it was only fair he give her the same.

"I don't agree with how you did it. Raph's my brother, you can't expect me to be ok with you drugging him and keeping him handy so your husband could torture him." He watched Ruby close her eyes, leaning heavily against the pipe wall.

"But…I don't have to agree with something to understand it." He reached out, covering the young woman's hand with his own. "I get it Ruby. You tried to help him and you did help him. All I care about is Raph being home where he belongs and you made that possible. What kind of brother would I be if how it was done meant more to me than that? Raph's home, that's all that matters and you possibly saved him from even harder times ahead than he already has. At least he can't remember most of what was done to him."

Ruby looked suspicious and Leo tried to confirm his words with a smile, but truth was, while he meant every word, he was shaken. She'd clearly been through a lot and he did care, but something inside him just couldn't shake the feeling that the same could have happened to Raph and it would have been all Leo's fault. If he had never told his brother to get out, Raph would never have been in that situation and if it hadn't been for Ruby, who knows what could have happened.

"Thank you for helping my brother come home."

"Better late than never." Ruby finished for him.

Without another word, Leo reached into his belt, pulling out his shell cell. "Donny, I've got her. We're at the corner of the old Lair."

Ruby looked up as Leo climbed out the pipe, extending his hand toward her while simultaneously closing his cell.

"Come on. Let's get you back to the Lair."

Suspiciously, Ruby took his offered hand as though she half expected him to start yelling at her again.

"You sure about this?" For once, her gaze didn't hold an angry glare. She looked curious and almost afraid.

Leo did finally manage a smile as he pulled her out of the pipe and onto her feet. "I'm gonna need someone capable enough to look after Raph until he's well enough to come back out on patrol with us. There's no one else I could think of better suited for the job."

The faintest of smiles crossed Ruby's face, a distant twinkle leaping to life in her eyes. "I would consider it an honour."

Leo heard Don approaching and turned away from Ruby. "Over here Bro."

"Hey, you found her." Don appeared round the corner, his face wearing a strained smile as he spotted them. "How are you feeling?" He asked, looking at Ruby.

She looked from one turtle to the other. "I'm…better. Thank you."

Leo looked at his brother. "Can you go on ahead Bro? Just so Raph knows she's been found."

"Sure, no problem." Don turned to Ruby. "You sure you're ok?"

"She's fine Donny." Leo sighed.

_Why does everyone think I'm gonna make things worse?_

Don nodded one final time, turning on his heel.

Left alone, Leo looked at Ruby. "Ok, here's the deal." He laughed as her gaze instantly narrowed. "Take it easy. I was gonna say, I'm sorry I haven't been the most welcoming, but how about we start over?"

Ruby's face visibly relaxed. She took hold of the hand he offered. "It's a deal." She smiled.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: As always the biggest thanks goes to Mikell for beta-ing the chap and being my rock as always. :-) Cindy, a huge thanks goes to you as well for tweaking me back in the right direction. Hope I done you proud girl, you know I love you. :-) Polaris, Mel, what would I do without you, it's a joy to know you. Storm Seer another huge thankyou goes to you. I'm thrilled you're enjoying the story. :-) For those of you still reading, hope you're enjoying it and thanks for sticking by the fic. :-)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from TMNT and make absolutely no profit whatsoever from this fic.**

Raph sat in Ruby's temporary room, staring down at the picture in his hand. Who'd have ever guessed that a simple photograph could reduce him to such a state, filling him with a range of emotions hopping from anger to sadness and back again?

The scenery was beautiful, taken straight out of a winter wonderland. Snow capped mountains rose majestically from the ground, three people huddled close to each other for warmth. On the right, a tall, distinguished looking man with chiseled features, his arm wrapped round a very attractive woman with porcelain features. In the middle was a teenage girl, about fifteen, her face bright and open. A smile captured forever in that moment.

Ruby's unscarred and beautiful face looked back at Raph, her eyes twinkling; her smile revealing her happiness. It tore at Raph's heart to see her like that. Not a care in the world, a moment captured forever that would serve only to haunt her in the future.

In his other hand Raph held a ring. One he'd seen sparkling on Ruby's mother's hand, which rested lightly on her daughter's shoulder.

Raph looked from the picture to the ring, his mind working fast. He didn't know that much about jewelry, but he knew enough to know this was an engagement ring. Was it the same ring Sean had used to propose to Ruby? The thought filled Raph with a rage even he hadn't known he was capable of. What the hell was she doing clinging on to it, if that were the case? Did she still love Sean? How could she after he could now see for himself what Sean had taken from Ruby? Why did he even care if she did?

Raph growled softly, staring down at Ruby's smiling face. This was the closest he'd get to seeing her carefree smile and for some reason that thought hurt.

"What the hell did you do to me?" He muttered softly.

His gaze fell on the ring in his other hand, a sudden image of Ruby smiling at an unseen face flashed before his eyes. A furious snarl erupted from his mouth and he stood, flinging the ring hard at the wall.

"What the hell did you just do that for?"

Raph heard the indignant cry, saw the open door and Ruby's startled and hurt face staring from him to the ring spinning circles on the ground.

Raph's chest heaved painfully. "Ruby…you're…you're ok?"

"Of course I'm ok." she said, picking up the ring and clutching it tightly to her. "What are you doing in here?"

"It's my brother's room!" Raph said lamely, fighting the urge to clutch Ruby against his plastron. So Leo had found her and somehow she was ok. Did she know about the missing person report?

Raphael studied her for a moment, completely confused. His brief glance at the face she used to have was burned in his memory. Her scars seemed even fainter than before. He doubted she knew about the report. She didn't seem phased and Raph guessed if she knew, she'd be high tailing it out of the Lair, maybe even the country.

"What the hell did you think you were doing, running off like that?!" Raph exclaimed, his gaze narrowing on Ruby's face. He didn't like the way she clutched the ring protectively to her chest.

"Never mind that." Ruby replied. "What where you doing with this and…" she looked at the picture he clutched possessively against his plastron. Her voice softened. "…where did you get that?"

Raph looked down at the picture, "It was lying on the bed when I came in."

"It must have fallen out." She muttered gently, running a hand along her waist. She took a few tentative steps forward, reaching out for the picture. Raph didn't move. Something inside him refused to move so she'd have no choice but to take the picture out of his hand.

Her small hand brushed against his briefly. Raph swallowed, his gaze locking with hers. She was looking at him, confusion written clearly in her eyes.

_Looks like she don't know what's going on here anymore than I do._

It was a magnetic pull, pulling the two closer together. All Raph wanted to do was put his arms round her and hear her say she didn't love Sean anymore. But he didn't dare ask. What if she gave him an answer he didn't want to hear?

Standing this close to her wasn't good for his blood pressure. His eyes dropped involuntarily back down to her lips, remembering the smooth texture against his own. His heartbeat started thumping loudly in his ears and he wildly started to wonder if she could hear it too.

Strange, he hadn't realized up to now that she was slightly shorter than he was. He didn't tower over her, but the height difference was enough that the top of her head would brush against his nose.

The scent of her hair suddenly reached him, the coconut smell filling his senses and still he couldn't move away from her.

_What the hell have you done to me? _He tried to ask her without having to use his voice; he was sure it wouldn't work, even if he wanted it to.

A strand of hair fell across her forehead and without thinking he reached out to brush it away, his hand lingering against her skin.

"Ruby?" Raph's mouth formed her name, even though no sound came out. He knew the expression in her eyes mirrored his own. A mixture of confusion and fear.

Raph swallowed again, his tongue suddenly felt too thick for his mouth, his throat felt too tight.

Ruby gently removed the picture from his hand, her fingers brushing against his plastron. She looked down at the ring in her hand.

"My mother's engagement ring." She said softly.

Raph's eyes narrowed on her face, watching her closely, but refusing to say anything.

"She left it to me in her will. She said she hoped it would bring me the same happiness it brought her, when my dad first placed it on her finger."

Raphael couldn't help himself. He snorted loudly, "That worked real well didn't it?"

Ruby's head jerked back up, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You ain't seriously gonna tell me you were ever happy with that guy are you?" His mind screamed at her to tell him she hadn't been. But he could tell from the expression on her face she wasn't going to fling herself into his arms.

"Actually I was happy; at least at first!" She bit out, glaring at him even as she moved away from him.

Raphael growled, "Guess it didn't do much to help you."

Ruby actually looked surprised. "This isn't the ring Sean used to propose to me."

Raphael had to physically stop himself from breathing a sigh of relief.

"It ain't?"

Ruby's surprise gradually changed to amusement as she stared at him. "Is that why you threw this? You thought Sean gave this to me?"

Raph flushed. "Nah, I just…" he broke of, stunned as Ruby laughed.

"You're an idiot Raph? You think cause you kissed me that gives you the right to go jumping to conclusions about my personal life without even talking to me?"

Raph blinked. At least she admitted the kiss had happened. That was something at least, but it was infuriately also enough reason to stop him getting angry with her for laughing.

"Look, Ruby, I'm sorry…" he broke off again as she sighed, her voice sounding oddly strained.

"Not that it's any of your business, but Sean didn't think his precious bride to be should have some tacky second hand ring, his exact words and instead of being angry, I was relieved." She hid her face from him. "Guess I should have heard the warning bells then. My mother said only a prince should place this ring on my finger, just as my dad had done for her and Sean was never my prince."

Raphael grimaced. Typical romantic crap. But he could see the ring and meaning behind it meant something to Ruby and that was enough to stop him snorting.

"So why'dya marry the guy?" Raph needed to know; he also needed to put some distance back between them. He needed to think straight and her being so close wasn't helping that.

Ruby sighed, raising her face to his. "Gratitude Raph. He took care of me when I thought I was alone. I was scared." she shrugged her shoulders, pocketing the ring. "Guess you were right. I'm not strong."

He'd grabbed her before he knew what he was doing, wrapping his arms round her slender frame. "I'm sorry," he muttered into her hair. "I shouldn'ta said that. You're tougher than you look."

Her head jerked back, an amused twinkle dancing in her eyes. "Well sure, I mean I kicked your ass."

A growl erupted from his throat as he pulled her closer, relishing the brief moment he could hold her. "Figured I owed you them two shots. I was being an idiot."

"Yeah you were." Ruby nodded, chuckling. "But I forgive you. You did save my life after all."

Ruby stumbled as Raph released her abruptly. "Don't even think about it. I don't want your gratitude." His voice was sullen.

"Good, cause you don't have it." Ruby replied gently, cupping his chin in her hand. "I'm grateful I met you, I'm not grateful for what you did."

"You mean that?"

Ruby smiled, surprising the sullen turtle, by wrapping her arms round his neck.

"Boy you really are an idiot," she laughed. "I mean it Raph. Now come on, I'll make you a snack if you're interested."

Raph looked surprised. "You cook?"

She laughed again. "Don't get too exited. I'm no gourmet chef, but yeah, I cook. When the need arises."

Raph grinned suddenly. "After the day you've given me, you owe me."

"Whatever you say…Raphie." Ruby winked, grabbing the turtle by the hand and dragging him out the door.

"Take it easy would ya?" Raph grumbled, wincing at the tug on his arm.

Ruby adopted an impatient expression. "You want blueberry pancakes or not?"

"That doctor's orders again?"

"It's my best bed sit manner, take it or leave it."

"This better be worth it." Raph muttered, allowing Ruby to take his hand again and drag him down the stairs.

* * *

Surprisingly, it had been worth it. Even more surprisingly, Raph realized he'd missed Ruby. Things had gotten a little crazy since he'd come home and he'd missed just being able to talk to her without it ending in a fight.

Ruby had turned out to be a pretty good cook and he'd spent an enjoyable evening with her. He'd caught himself sneaking glances at her whenever he could, but mostly he just enjoyed listening to her laugh.

He hadn't seen his brothers all evening and Raph suspected Leo was avoiding him. He was also surprised how Mikey had managed to avoid the kitchen and again suspected that might have something to do with Leo.

Raph sighed, remembering the promise he'd given his baby brother. Better get it over with. He glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall. Ten in the evening.

_No prizes for guessing where Fearless is. _

He paused briefly as he passed the stairs, hearing the sound of running water. He knew Ruby had gone up to take a shower. He took in the familiar sounds of his home, sounds and smells he'd greatly missed. The smell of incense burning in his father's room. Donny tinkering away in that lab of his. Mikey snoring on the couch.

_Chucklehead fell asleep watching…whatever the heck that is. _Raph shuddered, looking at the screen. He moved over to the couch, watching Mikey for a moment, an affectionate smile crossing his face. Carefully, so as not to wake him, he covered his baby brother with the blanket they kept handy.

"Night Bro." He said softly, rubbing Mikey's head gently.

Raph turned to the dojo. As he'd suspected he could just make out a sliver of light between the doors.

Raph sighed again, edging forward. He wasn't exactly sure what he was going to say to Leo. They hadn't really spoken since before he left.

He stood by the sliding doors, wondering what exactly he should say to his brother when Leo slid them open, nearly colliding with Raphael.

"Geez Bro, little warning next time?" Raph muttered crossly, stumbling back.

"Raph? Why aren't you in bed?" Leo sounded genuinely surprised.

Raphael shrugged. "Came to see if ya wanted to talk."

The simple reply sent an even more surprised look flashing across the blue-banded turtle's face.

"Course I do, I just wasn't sure if you wanted to."

"I'm here ain't I?"

"Ok. Kitchen?" Leo offered.

Raph shrugged again. "Sure."

Leo led the way back to the kitchen.

"What did you wanna talk about?" Leo asked, after a moments silence.

Raph stared at the kitchen table. "Guess I should probably say thanks and sorry."

"Sorry? What are you apologising for?" Leo's shock was evident.

"That dumb fight we had…"

"Raph don't!"

Raphael looked up in surprise. He hadn't imagined it. His eldest brother was angry, furious even.

"Don't you dare apologise! This…none of this was your fault!"

"Come on Leo, that ain't true an' you know it."

It struck Raph as rather comic, usually it was him to lose control first, but here he was the one being calm.

"Raph, I should never have lost it like that. I shouldn't have told you to leave."

"You wouldn't have if I hadn't baited you Bro." Raph pointed out.

Leo looked at him quietly for a moment. "So why did you?"

Raphael sighed, rubbing his head for a moment. Leo had done what he said he would. He'd brought Ruby home, the least he could do was tell his brother the truth.

"Leo…Bro, sometimes it's just nice to see you have flaws like the rest of us. You're always so goddamn perfect…"

"Perfect? That's how you see me?"

"Come on Leo. You know you fucking are. There ain't nothing you can't do. Me…come on Bro, let's face it. I ain't no genius like Donny. I ain't the leader. Hell…I ain't even funny like Mikey. I guess that's why it's just nice to see you not be so perfect. Kinda reminds me it's ok that I'm not."

"Raph are you serious? This team would be nothing without you. This family would be nothing without you. You have to know that."

"That's just it though Bro. I don't. You guys see me as the hothead, always out for trouble."

"Raph…we don't see you like that! How can you not know this? We know that's part of who you are, but…dammit Raph! You have no idea how hard it was without you!"

"Take it easy Leo, I didn't wanna start another fight."

"That's just it though Raph isn't it. That's all we've ever had, or at least that's what you seem to think."

Leo sounded genuinely hurt.

"Nah Bro, I don't think that, just…"

"You think it was easy for me to deal without you? It was my fault you left, then when you didn't come home…" Leo sighed. "…you're always the one I turn to Raph and you don't even know it. I'm the leader, I have to stay strong. You know where I get my strength? From you Raph. Cause that's who you are. You're the strong one, always there for us, always protecting us and when I can't cope, all I have to do is look at you and know it's ok. Cause if I fail, you'll be there to put right what I couldn't."

Raph gaped at Leo. Not once in twenty years had he ever heard his brother talk to him like this.

"It weren't your fault Bro." Raph felt he needed Leo to understand that.

"There you go again. It was my fault and you're putting right what I did wrong. That's just the way it is Raph. Only, when you weren't there…I kept turning to you for strength and you just…you weren't there."

"Leo…I…" twenty years and he'd never known his brother depended on him so much. It physically hurt Raph to think he'd never even noticed.

"Just forget it Raph. It's ok. I just didn't want you blaming yourself."

Leo turned toward the counter, reaching for the teabags. Raph stopped him, placing a hand on his eldest brothers shoulder. It was late, he needed sleep, but Leo was his brother.

"I missed you Bro." Raph muttered. "I guess I never realized how much this place, all of you mean to me, till I thought I weren't gonna see you again."

"Yeah, I understand." Leo admitted smiling suddenly. "For what it's worth, I missed you too. You should get some sleep, you look exhausted."

Raph chuckled. "Yeah Fearless, you're right as always." He smiled awkwardly at Leo, turning on his heel to leave.

With a sigh of frustration he turned back, glaring at his eldest brother. "I'm only gonna say this once so don't ask me to repeat it. You're a pain in my shell Leo, you always have been, you always will be. You're also my brother an' I love you. That's just another thing you're perfect at, being a big brother. I'm lucky to have ya Bro."

Leo's face split into a grin as he pulled Raph into a hug. "I love you too Raph and I'm sorry for what I said. You're a hothead, but your place is here with us. This family wouldn't be the same without you."

"Yeah, whatever." Raph grunted, pleased in spite of himself. Leo released him.

"G'night Bro." Raph said simply.

"Night Raph."

Raphael was almost out the kitchen when Leo's voice stopped him. "Hey Raph? Next time we fight, cause you know we will, if I say something stupid…" Leo broke off.

Raph grinned. "I ain't going nowhere Bro. I'm kinda liking this new, not so perfect Leo."

Leonardo glared. "Don't push it Hothead," he muttered, his eyes betraying his relief.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: A huge huge thank you to Mikell as always for your patience, encouragement and editor skills. :-D Cindy, Polaris, Mel, Brainfear, what would I do without you girls, you give me the confidence to keep this story going. Love you girls. Storm Seer, I'm honoured you've kept going with the story, a huge thank you to you for your loyalty and making me smile. All of you make writing this fic that much more worth it and I thank you for that. To all my readers, thank you again for sticking by the fic, I hope you're enjoying it :-)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything TMNT related and make absolutely no profit from this fic.**

It was dark, too dark. The suffocating feeling closed in on him, controlling him; making him bend to its will. Two faces loomed out of the night. One laugh chilled his blood; the other laugh sent his heart soaring.

Raphael looked round him, trying to see through the density. In the distance he could see Ruby running toward him, her hand outstretched. Behind her a face constantly hidden in shadow dragged her back and away from him.

"No!" His cry echoed into the night, falling on deaf ears as the ominous laugh started, growing louder with each passing moment.

Raph couldn't see any more, the thick blackness had engulfed him. All he could do was feel. Feel hands stroking down the sensitive skin on his sides. Tracing his muscles with fingers soft and gentle. Feel lips tracing the edge of his jaw line, making him gasp and arch toward the unseen force that forced him to comply to an unknown, yet extremely natural and welcome feeling.

Lips traced the sensitive skin on his exposed throat. His body started to shudder in response as he reached out to hold the one responsible for his loss of control. He didn't need to see her to know she was there. She'd been there since he'd started this journey, whatever it was.

Raphael groaned as the smell of coconuts washed over him. A yielding body pressed down on his plastron. His hands stroked through silky hair, letting it fall through his fingers. He reached out, hardly knowing what he was doing and pressed his mouth against hers, tasting her. He heard her gasp in pleasure, the sound rushing through him, filling him with pride. In this moment she was his.

Another deep shudder ran through him as he twisted, capturing her beneath him, his mouth taking control, tracing down her neck, down to the soft swell of her breasts.

He heard her gentle cry forming his name. Only she could call his name and make him feel he belonged. He raised his head, frustrated at not being able to see her. He wanted more than ever to see the look on her face, to know she felt the same as him. To see the loss of control written as clearly in her eyes as he knew it was written in his.

An ominous laugh rang out. A terrified cry. The yielding body beneath him turned to liquid, dripping down his body. He couldn't hold her and in the distance he heard the soft whimpering, the terrified cries followed by eerie silence.

Raphael called out, needing to hear her voice, needing to feel her against him. All he felt was icy cold wrapping itself tightly round him. The echoes of a laugh filled his ears. He stood on shaky legs, feeling her inside him, filling his every sense.

A cold hand descended on his shoulder, turning him roughly. The shadowed face loomed closer, clutching a broken and battered Ruby in one hand. Golden eyes gazed at him empty and haunted.

He tried to call out but couldn't a burning sensation burning down on his plastron. An inhuman cry erupted from his mouth as he tried to grab her. Watching helplessly as she faded before his eyes, the shadowed face delivered a final burning blow to his heart, leaving him with nothing but an empty feeling. Alone, unnatural. A gaping void that only one could fill.

* * *

Raphael awoke with a start, his brow damp with sweat; his chest heaving painfully as he gasped for breath. He looked round him, his eyes trying to focus in the gloom. The clock on his bedside table indicated it was eight in the morning. He'd over slept, but still he didn't move. He couldn't; something kept him lying there, his heart beating painfully against his plastron.

_Ruby. _He'd felt her, felt every touch as though it were real, every kiss consuming him, driving something deep inside him to the brink of insanity. Then that eerie distant laugh taking over. Robbing him of his right to touch her and hold her. A shadowed face, robbing Ruby of her identity.

As carefully as he could Raphael pushed himself into a sitting position. Hot pain darted across his plastron making him wince. He glanced down cautiously; afraid the wrappings might have come loose in his restless state. Surprisingly they hadn't, but the pain was surely not natural.

Slowly, his mind became conscious of pain elsewhere on his body, the stitches on his arms and thighs suddenly felt tighter, cutting off his circulation.

"Damn." he hissed, realizing taking his anger out on his punching bag the previous day probably hadn't been the best idea. He winced, tracing the tender spot on his plastron.

Swinging his legs over the side of his bed, he tested them, gritting his teeth as they threatened to buckle beneath him. He had to move forward, get to Ruby's room. He needed to see for himself she was ok, needed to know it had been a dream.

Swaying rather dangerously he edged forward, each step causing him great discomfort. The stitches drew his skin even tighter, his plastron burned. Somehow, he managed to reach Ruby's room relatively quickly.

For a moment, all Raphael could do was stare helplessly at the door, suddenly afraid to open it. Why did he want to protect her so badly anyway? She'd saved his life, but this was different. His desire to protect her didn't seem to stem from her actions. They seemed to come directly from her. For whatever reason, she'd tugged at his heart, leaving him with a desperate longing to keep her out of harm's way; to wrap her close in his arms and never let her go.

Raph shook his head impatiently. _Enough of this sappy shit._

Taking a deep breath he gently opened the door, his breath catching in his throat as he found the bed empty. He could have sworn for a brief moment his heart stopped beating.

"Dammit Mikey! How do you expect me to make waffles if you keep eating the batter?"

Ruby's voice echoed up the stairs, making the terrified turtle sag against the wall with relief. Sweat dampened his brow again as he struggled to soothe the wild beating of his heart.

He chuckled softly, hearing Michelangelo's indignant yelp and guessed Ruby had hit him with a wooden spoon.

"She sure is something'," he muttered under his breath, easing himself carefully away from the wall. A slight frown creased his brow. _But what is she? An' why do I even care so much? _

Easing himself forward again he stood at the top of the stairs looking down. He caught sight of Ruby muttering something to herself and expelled his breath on a sigh. He hadn't even realized he was holding his breath.

From his vantage point at the top of the stairs he kept a steady gaze on her, repeating the same words for what felt like the hundredth time since he'd met her. "What the hell did you do to me?"

Mikey's jubilant voice broke his concentration. "Hey Bro. How're you feeling?"

Sighing a little, Raph forced a smile on his face, trying to hide his discomfort.

"I'm good Mike." Raphael replied, his voice sounding a little too cheerful, a fact that as always, annoyingly, didn't go unnoticed by his baby brother.

"You sure? Only you look kinda green."

Raph snorted. "I'm always green Bro."

"Well yeah, I just meant, greener than usual." Mikey frowned. "You sure you're ok?"

"I will be once you stop asking dumb questions." Raph's tone came out harsher than intended. He sighed, rubbing a hand against the back of his neck, trying to ease the growing tension. "Sorry Bro, didn't sleep well." He offered as explanation, praying Mikey wouldn't ask him to go into detail.

Mercifully the hyper active young turtle didn't. Mikey simply shrugged again, giggling as he raced back into the kitchen.

"Mikey." Leo's exasperated tone reached his ears. "Don't you have something better to do than eat our breakfast before it's even cooked?"

So Leo was in the kitchen with Ruby. Raph found the thought rather unsettling. Was everything ok? He didn't really know what had happened yesterday, other than his brother had found Ruby and brought her back. He hoped Leo wasn't giving her any more grief.

"Morning Bro." Don's voice startled Raph, causing him to jump and turn, glaring at the purple-banded turtle.

"You wanna sneak up on me again Don? Try an' really give me a heart attack?"

Donatello's gaze narrowed. "Something bothering you?"

_Why does everyone keep asking me that? _"Nah Bro, I'm fine." He replied, keeping his tone as light as possible.

Don's gaze narrowed even more as his eyes swept over Raphael's body. "You don't look fine."

"Didn't sleep well." Raph repeated his response, wincing as the stitches tugged painfully.

Donny sighed, taking him by the arm. "Come on, let's get you checked out."

"I don't need checking out." Raph muttered crossly, anxious to get down to Ruby and help her out of whatever awkward situation she was in.

"Well that's tough then really isn't it? Duty's fallen to me to check you over today."

Raph looked up. Ruby had asked Don to check on him?

"Leo." Don said simply. "He thought Ruby needed a break. She's looking pretty tired."

Donatello's admission surprised Raphael. Leo was showing concern for Ruby? What the hell had happened between them?

Again Donatello surprised him by shaking his head. "I didn't ask, Raph, and neither should you. Just be grateful they sorted it out. Now maybe you'll relax and let your body heal." He started pointedly at Raph, who felt himself flush under his brother's scrutiny. He had the strange feeling Donny knew exactly what Raph had got up to yesterday with his punching back and was more than a little displeased about it. His flush deepened. He hoped that was the only thing Donny knew. His brainy brother often had a very unique way of sensing other's feelings and Raph's feelings were ones he hoped Don would not sense. At least not until he managed to figure out what the hell they were.

Sitting down heavily on Don's bed, Raph gritted his teeth as the other wasted no time in inspecting him. Poking and prodding his way over the tender areas, unwrapping bandages and wetting sponges to clean the ointment away and reapply.

Ruby was a lot more gentle that this. Her touch soothed his pain, whereas his brother's had him gritting his teeth even harder to stop from yelping.

The familiar frown creased his brow again. He didn't know what was happening to his train of thought lately, but it seemed he couldn't even go five minutes without thinking of Ruby.

Donatello's impatient sigh, brought Raphael's attention back to him.

"Nice going Hothead. You've irritated the wounds." Don grumbled, his own brow creased with a frown as he bent low inspecting the stitched area's.

Raph looked down, seeing his wounds clearly in the light from Don's room. He could see they looked slightly red. He shrugged, bending his head to avoid looking into his brother's irritated expression.

"Couldn't you have punched something a little softer?"

Raph chuckled. "Yeah could have, but didn't. No use regretting it now Bro."

"You need to be more careful. You need to give your body time to heal."

"Ain't my style Don, an' you know it."

He felt the bed beside him dip as Don sat down. "Listen Raph…" he began sighing.

Raph tensed waiting for the lecture that would follow. He normally wouldn't cooperate, but he felt he owned it to Don to at least let him have his say.

"I don't know what's going on between you and Ruby, but…"

Raph looked up sharply. Don's intuition was a little too accurate and a little too painful to think about right now. "There ain't nothing going on."

Don sighed again. "You don't have to talk about it Raph. But I'm here if you do." He shrugged.

Raphael smiled, placing a hand on his brother's shoulder, ignoring the tug in his arm. He noticed the pale tinge lurking under Don's skin and felt a twist of regret. Out of all his brother's he knew Donny would have been the one to work himself into the ground trying to find him.

"You sure you don't need a rest Bro?"

Donny shrugged. "Maybe. It's…been a rough week."

Raph chuckled again. "Tell me about it. Don't know what I woulda done if it weren't for your smarts, Bro."

Donatello looked up, his face drawn tight with emotion. "I didn't do much."

"You found me. You traced that damn shell cell signal and managed to find me."

"I would have done the same for any of you."

Raphael nodded. "I know Bro. But in this case, you did it for me." He squeezed Don's shoulder affectionately. "Guess those geek skills of yours paid off."

Don laughed. "Yeah, guess they did." He reached for the ointment, gently rubbing some on the reddened area of Raph's arm.

"I'm glad you're safe Raph." He muttered softly, focusing on the task at hand.

"Yeah Bro, me too." He sighed, turning his head away so Don couldn't see the sudden dampness in his eyes.

Donatello was his brother, the gentlest of the four and out of all of them, Raph knew he would have been the one to suffer in silence.

"Thanks Bro. I love you." Raph muttered softly, hoping his brother couldn't hear the pent up emotion in his voice.

Raphael felt a gentle squeeze on his shoulder. "I know you do Raph and I love you too, but for all our sakes, don't go doing something like that ever again. We're not ready to lose you."

"An' I ain't ready to lose you guys either." Raph admitted, feeling a weight lift from his shoulders. All his life he'd feared admitting his feelings and while it still wasn't easy, at least he could find some comfort that he had at least told his brothers once in their lives that he loved them.

He relaxed his body, letting Don rewrap his wounds before turning to face his brother again.

"You ain't gonna tell Ruby are you? I don't need another lecture."

Don chuckled, giving Raph a sly wink. "Much as I'd like to see her kick your shell Bro, I won't tell her. Only next time you feel the need to beat the crap out of something, use your pillow until your body's healed enough to take on the punching bag."


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: As always, Mikell, you rock. Thank you for taking the time and patience to beta the chapter, what would I do without you. My girls, Cindy, Polaris, Mel, Aly, you are as always truly inspirational and wonderful. Brainfear and Storm Seer, what can I say, your support has really helped keep this fic going, you have no idea how much it's appreciated :-) To all my readers, I appreciate your loyalty and do not discourage hearing from any of you ;-) Yes Raph is a sensitive wee soul when he wants to be, bless him. Don't tell him I said that *gulps looking over shoulder* **

**Disclaimer as per usual: I do not own anything TMNT related and make absolutely no profit whatsoever from this fic.**

Supported by Donatello, Raph edged slowly down the stairs, wincing as the pain in his plastron reached new peaks. He stumbled when he caught sight of Ruby. Don's arm came round his shell, a look of surprise flitting across the purple-banded turtle's features.

Raph tensed as he saw his brother's gaze follow his own, breathing a sigh of relief seconds later. He knew his brainy brother would have seen the cause of his stumble and was grateful when Don kept his mouth shut. Mikey would most certainly have pushed him on the subject and Leo would probably have reprimanded him, reminding him they were turtles and couldn't get caught up in human emotion.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, the two brothers edged forward. It took all Raph's concentration not to grit his teeth against the pain crashing over his body. _Maybe Don's right. Maybe a pillow would be safer next time, at least 'til the stitches are out. _

Raphael scanned the kitchen quickly. Leo sat at the table, cup of tea in his hand. Ruby stood over the stove, occasionally smacking Mikey's hand away whenever it edged to close to the batter she was pouring onto the waffle mould.

"Morning Bro. How're you feeling?" Leo asked, catching sight of Raph.

The latter shrugged. " 'm Ok." Raph couldn't say anything more. His entire focus was on the young woman at the stove. His gaze seemed to have a mind of its own today, traveling over her body, drinking in every curve.

Ruby's hair was up for a change. Raph knew she tended to favour it down, helping to conceal her scars, but today it was tied up and away from her face. A smudge of flour showed on one cheek.

She turned to face him and Raph had to stifle a groan. Ruby's face was relaxed and happy; she had never resembled the young girl he'd seen in the picture more than she did right now.

"Hey, you're just in time." Her voice sent shivers running through him.

"In time for what?"

"Breakfast; that is if your brother can keep his hands off the batter." Ruby turned as Mikey let out a yelp.

"Told you it was hot." She giggled.

Mikey rubbed his injured hand, a hurt look on his face as he glared at the waffle iron.

Ruby held out her hand. "Let me see," she sighed patiently, taking the youngest turtle's hand in her own. Mikey whimpered.

"Oh come on, take it like a man." Ruby chided gently, thrusting the injured hand under the cold tap.

Leo stood, moving round to the stove to keep an eye on breakfast as Ruby busied herself with Mikey's hand.

Raph watched it all silently; something close to anguish washing over him as he saw how easily Ruby fit into his family. But she was a human and someday, once her spirit was healed enough, she'd want to live top side, among the humans. Maybe even find someone who was capable of giving her the love she deserved.

The mere thought sent another wave of anguish rushing through Raph's body. He couldn't let that happen. He couldn't lose her, not now; not when he'd come so close to…

Raphael stopped himself. To what? He shook his head crossly, sitting down at the table and ignoring the startled look Don shot him. He couldn't think about it. He was a turtle, a gigantic mutated freak. She was a human and would never think of him as anything more than the one who freed her from _him. _Or worse, she'd stay out of gratitude. Spend the rest of her life resenting him for taking her from one prison and dumping her straight into another. He couldn't let that happen. If there were any decency in him, he'd take whatever it was he was feeling and ignore it, even if it meant eventually losing her.

Raph jumped as the smell of coconuts reached his nose. A gentle hand descended on his shoulder as Ruby leaned over him.

"Eat while it's warm," she said, smiling down at him.

"I ain't hungry."

"Still, you need to eat something, keep your strength up."

Raph looked at her. "Doc's orders?"

Ruby smiled. "Doctor's orders."

Returning her smile, Raphael sighed, carefully plucking at his food. Ruby's amused tone reached his ears.

"It's not going to bite."

The red-banded turtle chuckled, allowing himself to reach up and squeeze her hand briefly. His mind was whirling, trying to make sense of his alien feelings. Trying to make sense of what had happened to Ruby. How could anyone do something like that and to her. She was the gentlest soul he'd ever met. She'd suffered for a long time and yet her only thought had been to save him.

Anger rose in him. How dare that guy take that away from her? She would have made a good doctor and now that opportunity had gone.

Raph made up his mind, pushing his plate away from him. No! He wouldn't let it. He couldn't; he had to talk to Master Splinter.

"I'll eat it later, I promise," he said, standing with difficulty and turning round to face her.

Ruby looked surprised but nodded. She reached up, placing both hands on his shoulders. "Are you ok?"

Raph was suddenly very conscious of his brother's eyes on him. He resisted the urge to grab her and have his way with her right there on the kitchen table, wondering seconds later why on earth that thought had crossed his mind.

"I will be. There's just something I gotta do," Raph replied, smiling down at her.

* * *

"Something troubles you my son?"

Raph looked into the darkened room, smiling as he caught sight of a plate and half eaten waffle sitting beside his father.

"I didn't mean to disturb you Father."

"You are not. Please come in."

Raphael hesitated. He needed to talk to his father, not his sensei. But he didn't even know where to start. Cautiously he edged into the room, sitting himself before Splinter.

The old rat's eyes were closed, but he opened one slightly as Raph sat down.

"You wish to talk to me about the young lady?"

Raphael started. Even after all this time, his father still had the ability to surprise him. "How did you…"

"I have sensed your inner struggle Raphael. Emotions such as the ones you are experiencing are not easy to hide."

Raph flushed deeply "You think anyone else knows?"

"I suspect your brothers have their suspicions. As for the young lady…" Splinter sighed "…I believe she has suffered too much to be able to sense it."

"I don't even know what I'm feeling." Raph muttered.

"Understandable. For most of your life you have tried to run from the human part of you. Perhaps you even feared it."

Raphael sighed. If anyone else had accused him of being afraid he would have openly snorted, maybe even punched them, but this was his father. He couldn't lie to him.

"I don't understand what's happening to me. I keep thinking about her."

"You believe perhaps because she is for a large part responsible for returning you to your family?"

Raph shrugged. "I thought maybe, that could be it, but that don't explain how I feel."

"And how do you feel Raphael?"

"Like I wanna hold her all the time. Just be close to her." The young turtle flushed even deeper. "I wanna be able to be with her an' not think she's worrying about that other guy. Show her, maybe, I can give her something she deserves."

Splinter looked at him calmly, his tail twitched slightly. "I see. Tell me, what do you know of her?"

Raphael considered this. "Well…she always wears her hair down to hide her face. She get's this sparkle in her eyes, just before she yells at me. She's always dreamed of being a doctor and values saving lives above anything else. She never thinks about herself first an' when she's not focusing on what that guy did to her, her face just relaxes an' you can hardly see what he did to her an' she don't even know that. She wants to make her dad proud. She regrets not being able to see her parents before they died an' telling them how she felt. She keeps her mother's engagement ring close to her an' even after everything that guy did to her, she still dreams of finding the right guy." Raph slowed, realizing his words were coming out a jumbled mess. _An' I wanna be the right guy, _he finished silently.

Splinter nodded. "I see."

Raph rushed on, before his father could remind him of the species boundaries. "I mean, I know I'm a turtle an' she's a human, but…I can't stop thinking about her."

Splinter sighed, reaching forward to place a hand on Raph's shoulder. When the turtle looked up, he was surprised to find his father smiling at him, a suspicious dampness spiking the fur under his eyes.

"Out of all your brothers, I had feared for you the most. Feared you would never accept what we have become. The mutagen that transformed us left us with a distant memory of our original forms. We see it when we look in the mirror, yet despite this, we are human. We think and feel, walk on two legs and do everything the human way. It is only natural that certain human feelings we have learned to deny because of our form would surface eventually."

"I don't know what these feelings are. I don't know why I'm feeling them or why I can't stop thinking about her. She's human, she'd want to live top side and be with other humans."

"You have spoken to her?" Splinter queried.

"I wouldn't know what to say. I can't ask her to stay here, with me. I don't wanna lose her, but it wouldn't be fair."

Splinter stared thoughtfully down at his lap for a moment. "I would suggest you speak to Miss Ruby."

"But what if she don't feel the same way?"

Raph was conscious of the fear in his voice. The intense vulnerability he knew he was showing. He heard his father sigh again, felt the gentle squeeze on his shoulder.

"It is a curse we must often bear, living and looking the way we do. But if the chance to be happy should show itself to us, then why should we deny it? In a life where we are destined to be alone, why should we turn away from the possibility it might not have to be so?"

Raph looked up into his Splinter's wise face. "I'm afraid." He admitted.

"Understandable, but would you be able to live with the knowledge that you had an opportunity handed to you and chose not to take it?"

"Wouldn't it be selfish to take it? To force something on her?"

Splinter smiled. "You are loyal and brave my son. Your fears are justified, yet I believe you may be underestimating her. As a wise man once said 'when opportunity knocks, answer the door'."

Raph nodded, bowing his head to hide the sudden dampness in his eyes.

"You have my blessing to be happy Raphael. Despite my desire to protect you and your brothers from any harm, I cannot stand in the way of something beyond our control. As a father, I will not do so."

Raphael was silent, thinking over his father's speech. Did he deserve the chance to be happy? What if Ruby didn't want to give him that chance? Could she be happy living down in a sewer, never seeing daylight? He frowned remembering his original reason for coming in to see his father. He'd been side tracked, finally able to talk about what was happening to him.

"I wanna do something for her."

"Proceed."

"She had a chance to be a doctor an' that guy took it from her, but maybe…"

Splinter's smile grew even wider. "You wish to help the young lady realize her dream and follow in her father's footsteps."

Raphael nodded. "She's got the talent an' she loves doing it. It just seems wrong that she should never do that."

"And if you should find a way to help her realize her dream? What then?"

Again Raph thought about it. Something tugged at his heart telling him to just be true to himself, admit to his father what he wanted.

"I'd want her to do it. I'd want her to go to college and get her degree an' at the end of the day…come home to me."

Raphael had never been more surprised than he was in that second as Splinter leaned forward and enveloped the red-banded turtle into a hug.

"I am proud of you my son." Splinter released him. "I would advise you speak to Miss Ruby. There is always the chance she will not return the feeling, however…"

"I won't know unless I try."

* * *

For the rest of the day Raphael had to fight constant frustration. He couldn't seem to get a second alone with Ruby.

Leo had apparently decided Ruby needed to know some basic ninja skills, so when Raph finally emerged from his father's room, feeling better than he had in a while, he wasn't able to talk to her. If it wasn't Leo taking up her time, it was Mikey asking her to play video games or read comics with him.

Always smiling patiently, Ruby complied, leaving Raph again, unable to talk to her. Then Don would sit and quiz Ruby on her medical knowledge, asking question after question, till Raph was forced to go upstairs and attack his pillow in frustration.

He needed to talk to Ruby while he was still feeling vaguely confident about the matter. While he was sure, although not quite ready to admit, what these alien feelings coursing through his body were.

An idea struck him. He could call April. Maybe she would be able to help him figure out how he could get Ruby her place back at her father's old college. It was worth a try and an hour later, Raph was finally satisfied.

April had promised him she would look into it and get back to him as soon as she could. He hadn't been able to suppress a smirk at April's willingness to help.

Raph suspected she still felt bad about the way she had treated Ruby and was eager to make amends. He'd left the conversation satisfied the red-head would look into it thoroughly.

He traipsed through to the bathroom, deciding a shower would be a good idea right now. His muscles ached from overuse and the hot stream of water pounding down on his skin moments later helped relieve some of the tension in his body.

All too soon, evening approached and still Raph hadn't had a chance to talk to Ruby. His courage was disappearing fast and he knew if he was ever going to do it, he'd have to wait till his brothers were in bed.

Raphael waited patiently in his room, having bid his brothers good night. He'd given them the excuse of needing to sleep and hadn't missed the astonished glances they exchanged. Raph was never one to turn in early, but thankfully his brothers hadn't questioned him.

Hours later, Raph woke with a start. The Lair was completely silent. He cursed himself for falling asleep. He'd obviously been more tired than even he had realized.

Cautiously he opened his door, stepping out into the hallway. He couldn't even hear the distant hum from Don's computer. There was silence, or was there?

Raph could hear the faint rattling of water rushing through the pipes. One of his brothers taking a shower probably. He was about to turn back into his room, deciding he could talk to Ruby tomorrow when he heard a faint sob.

Raph recognized the sound instantly; he'd heard it often enough while he was trapped at the house. _Ruby._

Raph ran toward the bathroom, yanking open the door. He blinked, flushing deeply as he saw Ruby's naked body sitting in the bath. Her head resting on her knees, her shoulders shaking with sobs.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Mikell, you beta'd and tweaked, you rock. Thank you as per usual for your time and patience. Polaris, Mel, Cindy and Brainfear, as always you girls are my stars. Thank you for your ongoing support. Candelit1, thank you for your review. It means a lot to know you're enjoying the story :-) To all my readers, thank you for your ongoing loyalty. **

**Warning: This chapter contains adult themes, so if you're not a fan of Turtle/Human pairing, I would advise you skip past this chapter :-)**

**Disclaimer as per usual: I don't own anything TMNT related.**

Raphael edged forward, trying to look anywhere but at Ruby. The faint shuffling of his feet must have alerted her to his presence. Her head jerked up sharply, fear written clearly in her golden eyes. He was completely trapped, drowning in those golden pools, unable to tear his gaze away from her.

Her mouth silently formed his name and it was enough to propel Raph forward. He knelt by the bathtub, his eyes drifting down to the soft swell of her breasts, hidden behind her knees. He shook his head, forcing himself to look up at her.

"You ok?"

With a broken sob, Ruby wrapped her arms tightly round him, crying helplessly into his shoulder.

"Hey, it's ok," he muttered, stroking her back. His senses tingled wildly.

"He won't leave me alone." Ruby sobbed against him.

Raph didn't need her to tell him who _he_ was. He felt his heart wrench, realizing he had no desire to shake her in frustration. He just wanted to hold her and ease her pain as she had frequently done for him.

"You're safe here Ruby." Raph said. "He can't get you."

"But he can. You don't understand." Ruby raised her head, a wretched look on her face. "He's always there, in my mind, controlling everything I do."

Raph's hands rested on her arms, shaking her gently, his voice soft. "He can't get you. I won't let him."

"Make it go away." Ruby pleaded.

"How? Just tell me how an' I'll do it."

"I don't know how. I wish I did. I don't want to think of him anymore. I just want him out of my mind; off my body, but no matter how many times I wash, he's still there."

It tore at Raph's heart to see her like this. Frightened and lost. Begging him to help her and he felt utterly helpless. There was no anger in him, just a desperate need to keep her out of harm's way, locked safe in his arms.

Without thinking, he reached past her and switched off the water, her body reacted instantly, shivering at the cold. Raphael reached for a towel and drew it round her shoulders, gently placing his arms under her tiny frame and lifting her out the bath. He barely felt the tug of his stitches. It was just a dull throb, nothing he couldn't handle. All he could focus on was Ruby. She needed him right now and he'd be damned if he was going to let her down.

Raph reprimanded himself for having been impatient with her. It was clear Ruby wanted to fight, but didn't know how to find the strength in her. That guy had affected her more than Raph had realized and he hated it.

Ruby clung to him, winding her arms tightly round his neck as he carried her to his room. He placed her gently on the bed, drawing the towel closer round her shoulders. He switched on the light on his table and sat beside her.

Carefully, trying not to startle her, he pulled her close into his arms, resting her head on his shoulder. Her arms came round his shell and she held on to him, her sobs shaking her body. Raph held her close, waiting for the sobs to die down.

Finally, her shuddering body slowed to a stop, but she didn't let go of him.

"Thank you," she muttered gently.

"What for?"

"For being here. You've always been there, from the first moment this started and I didn't even see it."

Raphael raised his head, easing her away from him. "I told you, I don't want your gratitude."

"No, it's not gratitude. It's…" Ruby shrugged. "I don't know what it is."

Raph held his breath. She was looking at him as though seeing him clearly for the first time. He wanted to tell her everything he'd been meaning to tell her all day, but now just didn't seem the right time. He didn't want to scare her.

"I'm cold." Ruby muttered, edging closer to him.

Raphael swore his heart stopped beating as her lips brushed his skin. His eyes drifted shut as he leaned into her, relishing the smooth touch. He'd dreamed of this moment. Maybe he was dreaming now.

He grimaced, jerking away from her. He knew how this dream would end.

"What's wrong?" He heard Ruby ask, her hand reaching out to touch his face.

"You're not real." Raph muttered, tears stinging his eyes.

Hands rested on his face, turning him to face her. She rested her forehead against his. Her breath brushing against his face sent fire shooting through him.

God she was beautiful, if only this wasn't some figment of his over active and extremely frustrated imagination.

Unable to stop himself he leaned in, brushing her lips with his. She responded instantly, her mouth warmly eager.

He inhaled sharply. It was just a dream. He shouldn't feel any guilt over taking advantage of her. She was vulnerable and willing, offering herself to him and…god!

Raph choked, jerking away from her again. His body trembled violently. Running a hand over his bald head, he tried to steady his nerves.

He looked at her, seeing the confused and rather hurt expression in her eyes. Almost wonderingly, he reached out. In his dream he hadn't been able to see her, yet now he could. He could see her face, the longing written clearly in her eyes. Could this be real? It had certainly felt real, every moment up until she'd started touching him had felt real.

The very thought sent heat rushing through his veins. She was here, practically begging him to take her, begging him to love her. But how could he when he didn't know how she would feel in the morning once the desperate need to rid herself of her demons had subsided? Would she sense his feelings and hate him for it? Would she hate him for loving her as completely as he needed too? Over and over until she sobbed his name brokenly against his skin…until he'd finally removed any trace of _him_ from her body and soul, until he'd made damn sure no man would ever doubt who she belonged to.

Ruby closed her eyes as his hand stroked her cheek carefully, afraid she would shatter and break.

"If only you knew," he whispered softly.

Her eyes fluttered open, looking straight into his. He could see the desire written clearly in their depths, a longing that mirrored his own.

It was too much for Raphael to bear. He was in danger of losing the fragile hold he had on himself and he was desperately afraid once his control snapped, he wouldn't be able to hold back.

He wanted to remove the scent of _him _from her. He couldn't bear the thought of any man other than him touching her, loving her and the knowledge that honour had been robbed of her and in such a brutal manner enraged him.

Raphael felt fury and hatred rise within him at the man responsible for destroying her. Destroying any hope he had to get close to her and make her see he could love her the way she deserved to be loved.

He felt Ruby's hands on his face again, turning him toward her. His desire taking over, he grabbed her arms, hauling her against him, his chest heaving. His heart pounding with such ferocity he was convinced it would shatter his plastron.

Raph stared into her eyes, his face inches from hers. He saw the startled fear in her eyes.

_Take it easy you idiot! _He reprimanded himself fiercely. She was too close, he could smell her and her scent only drove him further toward the edge.

Struggling desperately to regain some semblance of control he loosened his grip, completely unprepared for what happened next as Ruby wound her arms round his neck and closed the minute distance between them. Her lips found his mouth; her breasts crushed against his plastron.

For a brief moment, Raphael stilled in complete shock. But as her tongue invaded his mouth sweetly, warm and eager, he gave up the fight. His control snapped and he surrendered to her, hauling her against him again and returning her kiss with equal desperation.

It was better than he'd remembered. Her lips seemed to mould perfectly against his, but somehow, he still wasn't sure. He needed to know, before anything happened, he needed to be sure he wasn't forcing her. Somehow, he found the strength to break the kiss, easing her gently away from him. His breathing was ragged as he looked into her eyes.

"Are you sure about this?" His voice sounded unbearably strained even to his own ears.

"No." Ruby admitted.

"Ruby, I don't want you to feel you have to."

"I don't. If anything, I'm afraid you feel you have to."

Raph let out an incredulous laugh. "Trust me babe. I've never been more sure about anything."

Ruby smiled. "I do trust you."

"I just need to know you ain't just doing this."

It was Ruby's turn to laugh. "I don't just do things. I don't know what it is about you, but I want you to be my first."

Raph was certain he'd never looked more surprised. Ruby rushed on quickly to clarify.

"With Sean…" she closed her eyes, wincing. "…It wasn't right, ever. Even when he wasn't forcing himself on me, it still didn't feel right. There was always something missing and I never knew what it was."

Raph cupped her chin in his hand, "and now?"

Ruby smiled again. "Now I know what was missing."

She kissed him again before he could ask her what she meant. Raph's mind was quickly losing the battle to keep himself focused. All he could feel was Ruby's lips against his skin, traveling down the exposed skin on his throat.

Raph stifled a groan, his hands clutching her arms. He wouldn't scare her. She'd been dominated enough.

She smiled, a faint blush staining her cheeks and utterly enchanting him. He let go of her and let Ruby push him gently back onto the bed. Her hands caressing the sensitive skin on his sides.

Raph arched slightly toward her. He resisted the urge to touch her. Only when she let the towel slide off her shoulders and placed his hands against her skin, did he finally release himself from his shell with an audible groan.

He caressed her skin gently, his hands stopping inches away from her breasts, waiting for her permission to continue. Her mouth trailed hot kisses down his plastron, skillfully moving till her breasts made contact with his hands.

Raphael gulped. He wanted her badly, but not until she was ready. He gasped, his eyes closing as she positioned herself between his legs, her hands gently moving lower, following the path her mouth took.

Ruby's sent was growing stronger and it took every ounce of self control he possessed not to flip her onto her back and take her.

When her lips gently brushed the skin on his inner thigh, he shuddered deeply. He clutched her hands, silently asking her to stop. If she didn't he wouldn't be able to control what would happen and he wanted to relish this moment for as long as possible.

"Are you sure?" He asked again, his voice sounding hoarse.

"I'm sure." Ruby whispered, wrapping her arms round him.

As carefully as he could, Raphael turned them till she lay beneath him; his eyes roving over her body. She was here and she was his. Feeling suddenly unsure of himself, he carefully stroked her body, growing more confident as he heard her gasp and arch toward him. He relished each touch, taking his time to explore her body, first with his hands, then as his confidence grew, his mouth.

Raph stopped abruptly when he reached the most intimate part of her. He raised his head, looking down at her.

Ruby raised her hips suddenly. His hand brushed against her and he groaned, lowering himself back down onto her. Again he took his time, rubbing gentle circles, his desire reaching new peaks as she cried his name, clutching him. He longed to taste her, but again he wouldn't force her, he was prepared to take his time; let her see she was safe with him, before he was willing to take control. He looked down at her, marveling at how his touch could bring this look on her face.

"Ruby." He whispered gently, his body shaking with the effort it took to keep a hold on himself, no matter how small. She reached up, cupping his face in her hands.

A surge of pride flashed through him. He positioned himself carefully above her. "Look at me," he demanded softly.

Ruby opened her eyes, her gaze locking with his. Only when he saw she needed it just as badly as he did, did he finally thrust into her. He stilled instantly as Ruby cried out.

"You ok?" He managed to ask, his body shaking violently.

Ruby winced slightly, nodding her head. She moved suddenly against him, sending new shivers running down Raph's spine. With a possessive growl he started to move inside her, each thrust intensifying his need for her. Ruby clung to him, whimpering his name softly over and over.

Raphael knew he was close, but he kept a hold on himself, waiting for her to join him. He didn't have to wait long. Her eyes flew open and locked with his and he saw the meaning written clear in their depths. With one final thrust he heard her cry out, clinging desperately to him, her body shaking beneath his and released himself, shuddering on top of her, letting his emotions wash over him. _I love you._ He thought, watching her with wondering eyes as silent tears rolled down her cheeks.

Ruby turned dazed eyes in his direction. Raph stroked her hair back from her face.

"You ok?" He asked again.

Ruby nodded. "You?"

"I am now." Raph admitted, pulling her close into his arms.

Ruby sighed, relaxing against him. "Promise me you'll be here when I wake up?"

Raph felt his throat constrict, a smile spreading across his face. "Try an' stop me babe. I ain't going nowhere."


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Once again a huge thank you to Mikell for the expert beta as always and a huge thank you to Cindy for going text book on me, what would I ever do without you girls. Polaris, Mel, you guys keep me going. Candelit1 again thank you so much for your review, it's a joy to hear what I write is read and enjoyed, thank you. For everyone still reading a huge thank you as per usual to you guys. Please don't hurt me by the end of this chapter. *ducks* **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything TMNT related nor do I make any profit from this fic.**

Ruby woke with a start. She'd been dreaming and already couldn't remember what she'd been dreaming about. A strange weight seemed to resist her effort to raise her arm to rub the sleep out of her eyes. She shifted, startled.

Raphael lay beside her, one arm wrapped possessively round her waist. Ruby blushed, remembering what had happened the night before. She couldn't quite figure out how it had happened. She just knew she'd needed to feel close to him.

Carefully so as not to wake him, she pushed herself up, looking down at him. What on earth had possessed her? She knew it wasn't gratitude. She'd been there before. This was different and while she still wasn't sure what this was, she suddenly knew she needed him. She'd never needed anyone before, but she needed Raph. He'd reached a part of her she'd believed was dead and buried, yet through him that part had stirred. It terrified her to realize he was probably the only person who could and would ever cause that part of her to breathe freely.

Jerking away from him, her eyes widened. She couldn't go there. She just couldn't. Like it or not, she was married and even though her married life hadn't filled her with any confidence, she had taken vows.

Raphael had pitied her last night and foolishly she'd given it to him, given into her own feelings. What had she become?

She scrambled quickly out the bed, her hand pressed against her chest. She needed time to think and space. Lying next to Raphael, the thought was becoming all too tempting to just give in and be with him. She remembered the way he'd touched her. It had stirred something inside her, but probability was, he'd just felt sorry for her. It may have felt real to her, but it couldn't have been real for him. He'd just wanted to comfort her and she'd been stupid enough to feel something more. It was a feeling she'd never forget, one she'd believed was to remain forever a distant dream, yet last night, he'd made that dream a reality.

Gathering her composure, Ruby crept from the room, anxious not to wake the sleeping turtle. She didn't even know what she would say to him when he woke up. She needed time, time to sort through her scattered emotions. Too much had happened in her life the past three years. It wouldn't be fair, no matter how often she got the impression he didn't care about her past, she knew deep down, it was his pity for her that had driven his actions. She was damaged goods, beyond repair. She could never make Raphael happy, not the way he deserved and he would never want her.

Ruby dashed across the landing to her temporary room. She darted inside to retrieve some clothes, a pair of jeans and simple black t-shirt, grateful no one had stepped outside. Her naked form would have raised too many questions. Questions she didn't even have the answers to. Or perhaps she did and wasn't ready to face them.

She crept down the stairs, anxious not to wake the Lair's sleeping residents. It was still early, only six in the morning. From the far side, she could smell the strong sent of incense.

Ruby blinked back tears. _Oh God, what have I done. Splinter trusted me and I just seduced his son. I've got to get out of here._

Half running, half stumbling, Ruby fled out the Lair. She had no idea where she was going. Her eyes scanned the sewers as she ran, trying to find some way out. Her throat felt tight; her chest heaved painfully. She needed fresh air and lots of it.

Tears stung her eyes, blinding her. She fell heavily, knocking her knee against the ground. Pain shot up her leg. Ruby didn't stop, she pulled herself back onto her feet, ignoring the throb in her knee and kept running. She turned a corner and stopped. In front of her were iron railings drilled into the sewer wall and above her head her way out. She nearly missed her footing an fell back down in her rush to get to the surface.

Bursting out into the open, she sank to the ground, gasping in the cool morning air. Sobs shook her body. She clutched her head in her hands, tears rolling down her cheeks. _What have I done. Dear God, what have I done._

She couldn't go back to the Lair now. What on earth would Raph think of her? She practically begged him to take her. He'd think she was weak. She couldn't face him.

All her life she'd longed for that special place, that feeling of belonging, heart and soul to someone. Last night she'd found it and it hadn't been real, not for him. She was damaged goods. She couldn't face him. She couldn't go back.

Ruby didn't know how long she sat there on the cold ground. It was only when the sun shifted to peak out over the rooftops that Ruby finally stood on shaking legs. She blinked against the harsh light, realizing with some shock it had been a long time since she'd stood out in the open, alone.

Sean had rarely let her leave the house by herself and when he did, he'd ordered her to cover her face with a scarf. Ruby tensed as she remembered his cruel words, telling her no one would want to look at her face in the state it was.

She took a few tentative steps forward, flinching as a young man came rushing past the ally she was occupying. The young man's head turned in her direction, gave a brief nod then kept on walking.

Ruby blinked. The young man hadn't stumbled back. His face hadn't registered shock or horror at her appearance. She took another few tentative steps forward, until finally she stepped out onto the sidewalk. Everywhere she looked she could see people hurriedly going about their business. They paid no attention to the lost and frightened young woman appearing out in the open for the first time, alone, since her face had been attacked a mere eighteen months previously.

Edging forward, Ruby caught sight of a Starbucks sign about fifty yards on her right. She felt inside her jeans pocket and drew out a ten-dollar bill. It wasn't much, but it was enough to buy a cup of coffee.

As slowly as she could she approached the coffee shop, the smell of freshly brewed coffee beckoning her closer. She stood outside the door, taking a few deep breaths before carefully easing open the door and walking inside.

Ruby stood inside for a moment, hardly daring to breathe. A few heads turned in her direction, but again she saw no horrified glances. No one ducked their head or cowered away from her. She took another deep breath and stepped up to the counter.

"Good Morning. Welcome to Starbucks, what can I get you?" A young woman in her late teens asked, her face set in a practiced smile.

"Oh, um…just a Tall Latte please," Ruby replied, offering a smile in return.

To her left, she saw two teenage boys watching her closely. Ruby's heart dipped as she overheard their conversation.

"I'm telling you that's her."

"Nah, that ain't her. She's too cute."

"Look at her face though. She looks just like her.

"Dude, that girl looked like Frankenstein's bride or something. I'm telling you, that ain't her."

"Well go ask her then."

"You go ask her."

"Here you go. One Tall Latte."

Ruby's attention was dragged back to the counter. The young girl looked at her curiously for a moment, seemingly trying to figure something out.

"Um…thank you. How much is that?"

"$4.50."

Ruby nodded, handing her the ten-dollar bill. The young girl took it, still looking at her with a strange expression on her face. Ruby flushed under the scrutiny, ducking her face automatically to hide her scars. The young girl handed Ruby her change. With a quick nod, Ruby grabbed her coffee and headed for the door, her heart pounding furiously.

"Excuse me?"

Ruby halted, her chest heaving. One of the teenage boys stood in front of her, blocking her exit.

"Sorry if this sounds rude, but me and my friend kinda have a bet going that you're the girl in the picture."

Ruby blinked, struggling to regain her composure. She knew her breath sounded ragged.

"I'm sorry, I don't…what picture?"

The young boy held out a newspaper. There on the page he was pointing at, was her face.

Ruby's blood ran cold; her body started to shake.

"May I?" She asked, reaching for the paper.

The young boy shrugged, handing it to her. With trembling fingers, Ruby held it, staring down at her own face. She remembered the day that picture was taken. It had been about a month after her scars were inflicted. She'd been standing in the garden, trying to find a way for life to return to normal. Sean had come up behind her with the camera. Despite her pleas, Sean had told her he wanted to capture this moment forever.

Ruby read the headline; read the tearful plea from her husband, begging for her safe return. She swallowed hard, raising her eyes to look at the teenage boy.

No! No, that's not me. Sorry, you have the wrong person."

Without returning the paper, Ruby hurried passed the boy, hearing his friend's smug voice behind her.

"Told you she was too cute to be her."

Outside, Ruby gulped. Her chest felt painfully tight, her body tingling. She ran as fast as she could, ignoring the startled looks people shot her as she flew past them. Only once she had reached a suitable distance did she stop, clutching her side. She turned, her face reflected back at her from a shop window. She was gasping for air, her cheeks flushed. She stared at her reflection, a hand reaching out involuntarily to touch her face.

Ruby turned away, fighting back a wave of panic. She remembered the conversation between the two boys. One had been convinced it was her, the other hadn't been.

Summoning up her courage she turned back to glare at her reflection. She saw the angry sparkle dancing in their depths. She was about to look away again when something stopped her. Her eyes widened in surprised as she took in the flushed and angry expression on her face. She looked normal. She could clearly see the faint, white outlines her scars made on her face, but the grooves she was used to seeing weren't there.

Ruby frowned, instantly seeing her face crease where the scars were. She relaxed her face again, they softened.

Ruby repeated this action about five or six times and always the effect was the same. She only stopped when she realized she looked ridiculous, pulling faces at herself in a shop window. She walked slowly away from the shop window thinking. Her face had seemed normal. She could clearly see the damage done, but it hadn't seemed as obvious as it usually was. Maybe a trick of the light, or maybe Sean's incessant reminders of how horrible they were had left her believing it.

Ruby stopped in her tracks, forcing herself to think back to the day it had happened. Sean's precise cuts on her face, taking his time. Straight, clean cuts. Enough to leave scarring. Just as he had done to Raph. Clean cuts, that she had stitched carefully. Her face hadn't been stitched. The wounds had been deep, but small. Raph's wounds had been deep and long. She'd needed to stitch him or he could have bled out. His scars would be minimal. Hers had been evident, yet over time had faded, even more so than she had realized.

Ruby raised a hand to her face again. She wasn't a freak anymore. She was just a normal person, although her face would never be the same as it had been before, she wasn't a freak. She looked round, then down at the paper in her hand. She traced the outline of the picture. _I'm not a freak._

She looked up feeling suddenly strange. Not far from her was a phone booth. Ruby felt detached from her own body. She was in the phone booth, popping coins into the slot and dialing the all too familiar number. She felt as though she were watching herself from a distance.

The phone rang. The dial tone echoed in her ears. She heard a click and swallowed.

"It's me. We need to talk."

* * *

Ruby sat on a bench in Central Park watching people swarm out of buildings for lunch breaks. Some came straight to the park for a quick jog.

Ruby watched in amusement. She'd forgotten how health conscious people from the City were. She sighed, feeling the familiar tug of fear, which she hastily pushed aside. She was fine. She'd arranged to meet him in a public place. He'd never touch her in public. She thought she heard a faint rustle behind her and stiffened, relaxing after a moment when she didn't hear anything else.

"So you finally came to your senses."

Ruby forced herself not to leap to her feet and back away. Instead she turned slowly in her seat to look at him. His piercing blue eyes roved over her, a relaxed and smug grin on his face.

"Hello Sean." Ruby said coldly.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your call dear wife?"

Ruby winced. "That's what I need to talk to you about."

"Oh?"

Ruby sighed, dragging a hand through her hair. She stood up and started pacing. "Look, I'm not sure how to say this. It's just…ok." Ruby stopped pacing and faced him. "I'm sorry for what I did. I couldn't just stand back and let you keep hurting him. Maybe…I don't know. These past few days…"

Sean's eyes narrowed on her face. "You betrayed me."

"And I'd do it again. I want out Sean. Out of this marriage; out of this life. I want a divorce."

"I see." Sean looked at her, the expression on his face sent chills down Ruby's spine. "What brought this on?"

"Let's just say I want my freedom back."

"And you thought I'd just agree?"

Ruby's blood froze. She hated the way he was looking at her. It sent chills down her spine. "You don't have a choice. I'm not coming back to you, not ever."

"Then why even tell me?"

Ruby flushed. "I felt I owed you that at least. You've made my life hell for the past three years, but you're still my husband and I feel that deserves some respect."

To Ruby's complete astonishment, Sean threw back his head and laughed.

"Oh Ruby, poor deluded Ruby. Now that's why I've put up with you for so long. That simple stupidity of yours is almost endearing."

Ruby felt her confidence shake, her voice started cracking. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not going to grant you a divorce." Sean stated, lowering his voice as he skirted toward her, grabbing her arm in a vice like grip.

Ruby looked desperately round her, but no one was paying any attention.

"You'll come home with me Ruby and you'll do it today."

"Give me one good reason."

Sean's grin grew wider, his free hand darting inside his jacket. He pulled a corked test tube from his inside pocket, pulling Ruby closer to hide what he was doing.

"You see this? All that time I spent on your little friend wasn't a complete waste."

Ruby stared at the thick red liquid in the test tube as Sean shook it.

"What have you done?" She could hear the fear in her voice, her eyes widening.

"You want to save your little friend? You will come home with me, or I will send this to people who would be very interested to know about it and would pay a lot of money to get there hands on it."

Ruby blanched. "You're insane," she whispered.

"No dear wife. I'm just cleverer than you."

"You leave him alone Sean, I'm warning you…" Ruby cried out as Sean twisted her wrist.

"Warning me?" He hauled her up against him, adopting a friendly smile as passers by looked at them curiously. "Keep smiling Ruby," he muttered through gritted teeth, twisting her wrist further till tears sprang into her eyes. "If you cry out, this test tube goes straight to the authorities."

The last of Ruby's strength and courage ebbed away. Her head dropped, hiding her tears. "Please Sean."

"That's right. There's a good girl. Keep begging, it won't do you any good, but you can try."

Ruby raised her head. "I want to say goodbye. Please, at least let me say goodbye."

"And why would I do that? So you can warn it?"

"No! Sean, please. I promise, I'll do whatever you say, just please let me say goodbye."

Sean looked at her, his eyes narrowing further. He grabbed her other arm, pulling her even closer. "What are you hiding from me Ruby?"

"Nothing." Ruby gasped. "There's nothing, I swear."

She was a fool. She'd believed she could hide the truth from Sean, but he knew her too well. She knew he would be able to see the dark blush spreading up her cheeks and knew he'd know why.

Sean released her instantly, his eyes widening in disgust. "You let it touch you." He hissed.

"Sean…"

"No!" His face was etched with fury. "We're leaving!"

Sean grabbed Ruby's arm and forced her forward. Out the corner of her eye, Ruby caught sight of the ally she'd come out of as she found herself unceremoniously dumped into a car parked by the side of the road.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: As always a huge huge thankyou to my wonderful beta Mikell, you deserve cookies for your patience. Cindy, Mel, Polaris, Brainfear. What would I ever you do without you girls, thankyou as always for your patience and loyalty. Quick extra shout out here. The twist in this chapter was inspired by a fic called "What Never Happened" Author Polaris. Extra kudos to you girl for inspiring this turn of event. Also my wonderful and loyal readers, thankyou for still reading, by all means let your voices be heard, don't be shy ;-).**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything TMNT related nor do I make any profit out of this fic.**

Raphael yawned and stretched. He reached out absentmindedly to rub the empty spot beside him. He wasn't entirely surprised when he'd woken to find his bed empty. A part of him had guessed Ruby might need her space when she woke up.

Raph smiled as he remembered how she'd felt in his arms. Hearing her sweet voice cry his name. It wasn't something he would forget in a hurry. He was prepared to give her the time she needed, but no way was he planning on letting her forget it had happened. She was his and he'd make damn sure she stayed that way. Oh he would be patient, as patient as she needed him to be, but he wasn't planning on giving up on her. He needed her.

_I love her. _Three simple words. They'd changed everything for him. His life would never be the same again, not without Ruby.

Feeling happier than he had in a long time, Raph pushed himself up and out of bed. Ruby was probably downstairs making coffee and breakfast. He stood looking down at his bed. What if she regretted what had happened between them? Raph hurriedly pushed that thought away. Last night had meant everything to him and he wasn't about to let negative thoughts ruin the happiness that reality gave him. It would be difficult, keeping his hands off her, but if that was what she needed to sort her head out and realize they belonged together, then that was what Raph would give her.

Raphael headed for the bathroom, deciding a shower might help cool his libido. The mere thought of Ruby lying naked and willing beneath him had the lower part of his shell tightening uncontrollably. He passed the stairs, glancing down, hoping to catch a glimpse of Ruby. He was rather surprised when he didn't. He could hear the distant tinker from Don's lab and guessed his brainy brother was working on something.

"Yo Don."

The tinkering stopped and moments later Donatello's face came into view.

"Morning Raph. How're you feeling?"

"Never mind that. You seen Ruby this morning?"

Don looked surprised. "No. I thought she was still sleeping."

Raph tried to ignore the sudden tense feeling in his chest. "Yeah, maybe."

He couldn't very well tell his brother Ruby had spent the night with him. It would raise some awkward questions.

He nodded briefly at Don, turning to walk the short distance to Mikey's room. He knocked softly on the door, waiting with baited breath. No answer.

Frowning, Raph pushed open the door. The bed was empty. He walked slowly into the room, his chest now feeling uncomfortably tight. On the bed lay Ruby's photo and beside it, her mother's engagement ring. She wouldn't have gone anywhere without those.

The tightness in his chest increased as he backed out of the room. Out the corner of his eye he saw Leo come out of his bedroom.

"You ok Raph?"

"You seen Ruby?"

Leo looked surprised. "No, isn't she sleeping?"

"Nah, she ain't."

Raph cursed silently. Where the hell was she?

* * *

April sat at the table in Starbucks, drinking her coffee. In her hand she held the information, Raphael had asked for. She still felt bad for the way she'd treated the young woman, especially seeing as Raph seemed very fond of her. Hopefully she would be able to make amends this way.

April started as she overheard a conversation two teenage boys were having about two tables away from her.

"I'm telling you that was her."

"Dude, it weren't her, get over it."

"So who do you think guy was then?"

"I dunno, probably her husband or something. Maybe she was supposed to be cooking dinner and he was mad she was hanging in the park?"

April frowned, wondering who they were talking about.

"I'm telling you that was her husband. The guy who printed this thing."

The second boy shrugged. "So what if it was?"

April glanced at them. She sat up, her back straight as she caught sight of the morning paper lying on the table between them. The first boy kept jabbing at a page. She wasn't sure why she suddenly heard alarm bells ringing, but something made her get up from the table and go over to them.

"Excuse me?" April asked politely. "I couldn't help but overhear. What were you saying about a young woman?"

The teenagers looked startled.

"Nothing." The second boy said, glaring at his friend. "He's got it into his head that that girl, you know, the one that went missing was in here earlier."

"Dude it was her. I swear it was. You could tell by her face."

"Dude, she was way too cute to be her."

April placed one hand on top of the paper between the boys, her voice suddenly low and urgent.

"What did you mean by the guy who took her?"

The second boy shrugged. "Just some guy dragged her away. She didn't seem to like it. She looked kinda scared. But he just put her in a car and drove off."

April's heart started beating fast. "Did you see which way they went?"

"Seemed to be heading out of town." The first boy said.

Heart still pounding, April thanked the boys. She ran out of Starbucks, heading straight for the nearest manhole. Normally she would take her time, but if what those boys had said was true, she knew she had to act fast.

* * *

"Anything?" Raph demanded as Leo emerged from the sewers.

"Nothing. There's no sign of her."

"Well where the hell is she?" Raph's voice was rising fast.

"Take it easy Bro." Don said. "Maybe she just needed some air or something."

"Yeah did anything like, you know, happen between you two?" Mikey asked.

Raph froze, turning to glare at his baby brother. "Like what?"

Mikey shrugged. "Did you two have a fight or something?"

"No! We didn't fight!"

Raphael was uncomfortably aware of Leo's eyes boring into his back.

_Don' start with me Fearless. Not today, I ain't in the mood._

He couldn't think what could have happened. Last night had been something to him and he _knew_ she'd felt the same. He'd seen it in her eyes right before he claimed her. He'd heard it in her voice as she lay against him, asking him to be there when she woke up. So what had happened?

He'd expected her to be embarrassed maybe even a little fearful, but to run?

Raphael swallowed, the tightness in his chest refusing to dissipate for even a moment. This was not something he had allowed himself to believe would happen.

He'd thought he'd be able to talk to her, tell her that he wanted to be with her and would give her all the time she needed to figure out if she felt the same way. Judging from last night, he'd believed she did feel the same way. Now, he wasn't so sure. Why would she have run?

"Perhaps it would be wise to go over what was said between the two of you last night, Raphael. It may give us some indication of why the young lady left."

Splinter's voice cut through the red-banded turtle's thoughts.

"I think I know where she's gone." A female voice spoke from the entrance of the Lair.

Raph spun round, instantly recognizing the voice and yet, still disappointed when it turned out to be April. His disappointment faded quickly as he saw the worried expression on the young woman's face.

"You know where Miss Ruby is?" Splinter spoke up.

April glanced from Splinter to Raphael. "I think…someone took her away. Maybe that guy she was so scared of."

"No fuckin' way would she have gone near that guy!"

"Raph…"

Splinter stepped toward April. "Please, tell us why you believe this."

"I overheard two boys talking in the coffee shop not to far from here. They said they'd seen her being dragged off by some guy."

Raphael inhaled sharply. He turned to face his father and noticed the old rat wore an equally worried expression.

"You sure it was Ruby?" Mikey's voice sounded small.

"I'm sure. They were looking at the missing persons report."

Raph swore vehemently. "What the hell was she thinking going topside?"

"Raph…" Leo came up behind his brother. "…she didn't know the danger. We didn't tell her."

"She ain't stupid Leo. She shoulda stayed down here."

"Can you think of any reason she might have needed to go topside?" Don asked, looking hard at Raph.

Raph flushed, feeling Splinter's eyes boring into him. He turned to face his father.

Amber eyes locked with dark brown. Raphael watched his father's eyes widen slightly. The ears twitch, followed by an almost imperceptible nod. Splinter understood what had happened. Raph had been foolish to believe he would be able to conceal anything from his father. Yet looking at Splinter now, he could see there was no disappointment in the kind eyes, just concern.

Splinter kept a steady gaze on Raphael. "You remember where she lives?"

"I…I think so. I dunno. I weren't really payin' attention when we left."

"You understand the risk of your returning to that place?"

"I gotta go. If April's right an' he's got her…"

Splinter nodded. "I understand your need to go my son and I will not stand in your way. Your brothers will go to of course…Raphael, be careful. You are not yet fully recovered, neither physically or mentally."

"Sensei…I have to go."

"I understand."

The old rat turned to Leo, pulling him to one side and lowering his voice. Suddenly alert, Raph tensed, overhearing his father's words to his brother.

"Be on your guard. There is no telling what he may have already done to her. If you get there and you are too late…Raphael will need you, perhaps more than he has ever needed anyone before."

Raph's hands clenched into fists. He heard Leo's hushed reply. "I understand Sensei."

Raph was already half way out the Lair. His heart was pounding fiercely. _We ain't gonna be too late. We can't be. Hold on Ruby, just hold on. Please. _

* * *

Ruby's head hit the wall hard. Spots danced in front of her eyes as Sean's hand closed around her throat.

"Please…" she managed to choke out.

A satisfied smirk crossed Sean's features.

"Poor deluded Ruby," he muttered. "Did you really believe you could save it?"

The young woman tried to focus, her head swimming as she felt his hand tighten.

Sean's face pressed close to hers. "You've been a thorn in my side for too long. It will be a pleasure to remove you."

Ruby was sure she saw a smile flit across his features as he brushed her hair back from her face; tracing a path with his finger, from her neck to her thighs.

"Don't touch me." She managed to hiss, her face growing numb from the pressure of his hand on her throat.

"Touch you?" Sean laughed. "I wouldn't go near you. You let that thing put its hands on you."

His hand released its choking grip and he threw Ruby to the ground, kicking her in the stomach. She felt tears spring to her eyes as she clutched her middle.

"Tell me Ruby? How was it? Did it satisfy you? Or were you as frigid with it as you are with me!"

Ruby struggled to sit, pain shooting through her body. She looked up into the cold blue eyes that stared down at her. So different from the warm Amber ones that had gazed down at her the previous night. She heard a strangled sound and realized with some shock, she was laughing at him.

As the sound grew stronger, Ruby managed to sit up straight and look him directly in the eye.

"He was ten times the lover you'll ever be!" She spat at him.

Sean's face twisted with rage as he backhanded her violently. She tasted blood and tentatively raised a shaking hand to the side of her mouth. Her eyes looked up into his again.

"What's the matter Sean? Can't handle the truth?"

Sean snarled with rage, grabbing her by the hair and bringing his knee up to connect with her face.

Pain exploded in her face, something hot and sticky ran down into her mouth. Ruby tasted blood. Wildly she found herself hoping it wasn't broken. She tentatively twitched it. Another sharp burst of pain shot through her, but she could tell it wasn't broken.

"It's time for you to say goodbye Ruby." Sean hissed in her ear as he dragged her backwards. She felt her body bounce against steps and knew instinctively where he was taking her. She knew what he had in mind.

Ruby's mind started working fast. Sean intended to kill her the same way he'd killed that poor wretch several months before. If he did, there'd be no one to save Raph and what would happen to the others? She couldn't take the chance.

Summoning up her strength, Ruby managed to reach up and grab hold of the railings. She twisted her body round, desperately trying to break Sean's hold on her.

She felt his grip loosening and with one final twist she freed herself.

She scrambled desperately to her feet, kicking blindly backwards, satisfied when she heard a yelp and knew she'd hit Sean.

Half running, half stumbling up the stairs, she reached the top, screaming in desperation as she felt Sean's arms come round her. She hit out, struggling for all she was worth. Finally her flailing arms connected with his face.

Ruby felt Sean's grip loosening, she ran forward, stopping when she heard a startled "oh."

Ruby turned, her eyes widening in terror as everything seemed to move in slow motion. She saw Sean's startled gaze, his flailing arms as he teetered on the top step leading down to the basement. She ran forward, trying to grab hold of him before he fell. Her fingers brushed against the tips of his as he fell backwards, his body landing in a crumpled heap at the bottom of the stairs.

* * *

"Don step on it!" Mikey whispered frantically, casting fearful glances back at Raphael.

The red-banded turtle's face was set with grim determination. His focus directed out the window of the Battle Shell.

Beside him, Leo looked down at his clasped hands, while Donny muttered a curse under his breath, pressing his foot down firmly on the gas pedal.

"There it is!" Raph exclaimed suddenly, as the old house loomed out of the darkness.

Although he hadn't been there long, he'd noticed the house as they left. The memory of that night twisted his heart. Ruby's arms around him, supporting him. The start of something that had changed him. She had to be ok, she just had to be.

The Battle Shell squealed to a stop. One by one the brothers leapt out. Raph was already ahead, running for the house. He didn't stop to think of his wounds as he burst through the door, calling for Ruby.

He saw an open door on his left and ran to it, just in time to see Ruby reach out to Sean as Sean fell backward down the stairs. He heard Ruby's terrified cry, saw her lunge forward again.

Raph caught her round the waist. She hit out wildly, screaming incoherently.

"Hey. It's ok, it's me."

Somehow Ruby must have heard him. She stopped fighting, turning wide and terrified eyes in his direction.

"Raph?"

"Ruby, what happened here?" He asked urgently, seeing Sean's broken body at the bottom of the stairs.

Ruby couldn't answer. Tears started rolling down her cheeks.

Raph's face twisted as he saw the state she was in, blood drying on a swollen and bruised nose. A cut marking the edge of her mouth. Her neck…

Raph swore violently, clutching the trembling woman close to him as he saw the clear bruising on her neck.

"Thank God you're ok."

Behind him, he could hear his brothers run into the house. Don pushed passed them running down the stairs to Sean.

Raph saw him place two fingers against the man's neck.

Don looked up. His gaze locking with Raph's, he shook his head.

"He's dead.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Mikell, you're a star and you know it. Thankyou for beta-ing the chapter and for your encouragement. Cindy, Mel, Polaris, Brainfear and Candlelit1, I honestly don't know what to say, except I could never have done this without you girls. You review, you cheer, you comment, you tweak, you guide. Thankyou, this fic has become what it is because of you girls. To all my readers, thanks for sticking in there. The finish line is in sight now, not quite there though ;-) Once again, I love hearing any feedback from my readers so don't be shy :-)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from TMNT nor do I make any profit from this fic.**

"Raph get her out of here," Don said looking at Ruby. "She doesn't need to see this."

Raph nodded, trying to pull Ruby away from the scene, but she seemed unwilling, clutching hold of the railings, her eyes fixed on Sean's lifeless body.

"It's my fault," she muttered quietly. "It's my fault."

"Raph now!" Don urged.

"No." Ruby seemed to come to. "No, I have to…the lab." She turned to Raph her eyes pleading.

"Ok," he replied soothingly. "Ok, whatever you need."

"No…you don't understand." She sounded desperate. She tried to go down the stairs but Raph stopped her.

"Hey, you don't need to be down there right now."

"Yes I do. Raphael, please."

"It's ok Raph." Leo came up behind them. "I'll go down with her."

Raph reluctantly released Ruby. Leo placed one arm round the young woman's waist and gently guided her down the stairs. She was still trembling, her eyes still fixed on Sean.

When they reached the bottom, Ruby seemed to sway, balking at the way Sean's body laid twisted on the floor.

"Keep going Leo." Don muttered. "She really shouldn't be down here."

They reached the door and Ruby darted in quickly.

Leo watched for a moment as she searched the room, moving papers on tables, looking in drawers.

"What are you looking for?"

Ruby didn't reply, she kept frantically searching. Leo moved forward, placing a hand on her shoulder, stopping her. She shrugged him off and kept turning over everything she could. There was something almost feverish in her approach.

"Hey." Leo said. She seemed to not even notice he was there. Growing more worried with each passing moment, Leo finally turned her forcefully to face him.

"Are you ok?"

Ruby's haunted eyes stared into his. "I can't."

"You can't what?"

"I can't stop. I have to…" she took a deep breath, seemingly trying to centre herself. "It has to be here."

"What does?" Leo pressed gently.

Ruby moved toward the far side of the room, rummaging through drawers and muttering to herself. "I know he put it here somewhere."

"Ruby, maybe you should take it easy. You've had a shock."

"No!" Ruby turned on Leo. "You don't understand! I have to find it!"

"What do you have to find? Maybe I can help?"

But Ruby had once again turned away from him and was rummaging through drawers.

Leo decided the best approach might be to just let her work it out her system. He leaned against the door, folding his arms in front of him, watching her closely.

For a while neither said a word as Ruby kept searching. Finally she stopped, pulling out a key. She ran to the other side of the room and unlocked a drawer in the table.

Leo heard her curse under her breath. "What's wrong?"

"This…this is bad."

Something in the tone of her voice, spurred him forward. He looked down to see what was wrong. In the drawer lay a row of test tubes, each one corked and neatly labeled. Small Petri dishes, each neatly labeled lay beside them.

"What is all that?" Leo asked.

Ruby started looking through the papers on the table. She picked up a sheet of paper that had writing all over it. Her eyes scanned the sheet, moving from paper to drawer.

Leo watched her silently; desperately wanting to ask what she was looking at but sensing now wasn't the time. Her aura oozed urgency.

After a few moments silence Ruby sighed deeply, sagging against the table. "He didn't send anything out. He must have wanted me to know about it before he did anything."

A cold feeling started creeping down Leo's shell. "Wanted you to know what?"

Ruby sighed, the haunted expression in her eyes fading. She suddenly looked drained and small. She started pulling out the test tubes and Petri dishes, checking the drawer one final time. She handed Leo the sheet of paper.

"Sean's documented findings on your brother's blood and skin samples. Judging from this, they're all still here."

Leo's hand started shaking as he glanced down the page. "I thought you said he was a doctor?"

"He is…," Ruby swallowed, "…was a doctor, but he taught himself how to run specific tests on blood and skin samples and how to tell the differences. It made it easier for his…_work_…to go undetected if he could personally run all the tests he needed."

"Ruby, is this why you came back here?"

"I had no choice. After I called Sean…"

"You called him?!" Leo was incredulous.

"I wanted a divorce, only when he finally came…he showed me one of the test tube's. He threatened…he said he'd send it to the authorities unless I came home."

Leo was stunned. She'd risked her own life, her freedom for his brother. He looked at her, seeing the bruising on her face and neck that stood out drastically against the suddenly alarming paleness of her skin.

Ruby raised a shaking hand to her forehead. "I don't feel so good…I think…I need some air."

Leo's reflexes were quick. He caught her deftly up in his arms as she took a step and collapsed.

"Don!"

Leo stood looking from the table to the frail young woman in his arms as Donatello came through the door.

"Get her out of here. I'll be along in a minute." Leo handed Ruby carefully over to his brother, watching first to make sure she was safely out the door, before turning to collect the items on the table. He glanced round at the room, spotting a cardboard box in the corner.

Quickly, he placed the test tube's and Petri dishes into it, leaving the door open as he left. He skirted past Sean's lifeless body, hurrying up the stairs to join his brothers.

Outside, Raph held Ruby tightly against him, refusing to let anyone else near her.

"Let's go." Leo said, climbing into the Battle Shell, quickly followed by the others. Raph was still holding Ruby tightly, yet gently against him. There was a look in his eyes that tore at Leo's heart. His younger brother was clearly afraid and trying to hide it.

"Is she ok?" Leo asked Don, who kept casting worried looks in her direction.

Don lowered his voice. "I don't know Leo. She has a nasty lump on her head, not to mention the bruises. I'll know more when we get back to the Lair."

"So what are we sittin' around waitin' for then?" Raph growled.

Leo looked at Don who nodded briefly. Leaping into the driver's seat, Leo started the Battle Shell and headed back to the Lair, praying Ruby would be ok. If anything happened to her…he didn't even want to think about it, let alone the effect it would have on his brother. His mind drifted to the cardboard box; a shudder running through him as he realized how close Raphael had come, how close they'd all come to being discovered. If it hadn't been for Ruby…she had to be ok. She would be ok.

* * *

Fear was not an emotion Raphael easily recognized. In all his life there had only been a few times he had ever truly been afraid. Holding Ruby close, he looked down into her pale face. The bruising on her neck and face tore at his heart. He felt rage build inside him at the man responsible, but he couldn't do anything about that now.

Seeing his captor, lying broken at the bottom of the stairs, Raphael had felt nothing. His entire focus at that moment had been on Ruby. Her face looking into his, eyes wide and haunted.

Questions ran through his mind.

_What happened? What was she doing there? What the hell did he do to her? Why did she go back to 'im?_ _She tried to save 'im. But why did he even need savin'?_

Mentally shaking himself, Raph tried to clear his mind and focus on what he needed to do now. No matter what happened, he needed to keep her safe. If anything happened to her…Raph needed her.

A frown creased his brows as he looked down at Ruby. If she tried to run again, she'd soon discover who she was dealing with. It wasn't just her life on the line, but his own.

_I ain't gonna let ya go without a fight. You wanna run? You're gonna have to go through me first. _Raph vowed silently, taking her small hand in his own.

The drive back to the Lair seemed to take longer than two hours, but finally they got there.

Still clutching Ruby to him, Raph leapt lightly out the Battle Shell and headed inside, closely followed once more by his brothers. He hadn't missed the worried glances they'd exchanged.

Splinter rushed forward as soon as he spotted Raphael. He helped the young turtle carry Ruby up the stairs and place her gently on his bed, wrapping his sheets tightly round her.

Raph was grateful for his father's support. Splinter never said a word the entire time. Once she was settled he left Raph to sit with her, placing a comforting hand on the turtle's shoulder briefly before he left.

Don was hovering in the doorway.

"S' ok Don." Raph muttered, acknowledging his brother's presence, his eyes never leaving Ruby's face.

"I just need to check her over, Bro. I promise I'll be careful."

Raph managed a small smile, watching as Don set to work, examining Ruby's body gently with his hands, checking the lump on her head and the bruising marking her features.

"I'm pretty sure it's nothing serious." Don said at last. "She might have a minor concussion and my guess is the trauma caused her to pass out. Other than that, she seems ok."

"Ok?" Raph managed weakly. "You seen her neck Don? Bastard tried to kill her."

"You don't know that Raph." Donatello tried to soothe him.

Raphael snorted. "Come on Donny. You don't get marks like that unless some serious force is used…trust me…I know."

Donatello looked from Raph to Ruby and back again. He sighed deeply, stepping forward to squeeze Raph's shoulder.

"You can't think about it now. She's ok."

"Don…I saw her…when I went in. That guy was fallin'…she…"Raph sighed, reaching up to rub his temple, he could feel the dull throb pounding away.

"Raph…none of us think what happened was anything but an accident." Don smiled.

Raphael breathed a sigh of relief. But he was still afraid what would happen when Sean's body was found. Suspicion would fall directly on Ruby. He couldn't let that happen. But her dreams of becoming a doctor…

Raph stood abruptly, stalking out the door.

"Raph?" Donny called after him.

Raphael didn't care. Right now he didn't care he was still stitched. He didn't care his body wasn't fully healed. He needed to get it out of his system and a pillow was not gonna cut it this time. He needed his punching bag.

It didn't seem fair. She'd come so close to finally being free. To having her dreams and now…one stupid accident later…Sean had won after all. Ruby was trapped. If she went topside, she'd be found. Police would blame her. She couldn't go topside. Everything was ripped away from her.

_Bastard won after all._

* * *

Ruby stirred, slowly opening her eyes. Her head throbbed. For a moment she couldn't think where she was. What had happened. Then slowly as she regained her conscious state, the memories started to flood back.

Sean teetering on the top step, his arms flailing, then falling backwards. Ruby turned her face into the pillow. Raph's pillow. She knew the sent. Recognized the room. _He came for me. After everything…he still came for me. _But what did he think of her now? Did he think she was just a cold-hearted killer?

A tear rolled down her cheek. It was a while before Ruby realized she wasn't alone in the room. She let out a startled cry of fear as a dark shape loomed toward her.

"Hey, it's ok. It's me."

Ruby blinked. The sleep was disappearing out her eyes and she focused easily. Green skin and a blue mask.

"Leo?"

He was the last turtle Ruby had expected to see and she couldn't hold back the sharp feeling of disappointment in her gut.

"What are you doing here?"

"Raph asked me to check on you."

Ruby felt her heart sink. So he didn't want to be near her. She should have suspected as much.

"Ruby listen. I need to talk to you."

Wearily, Ruby raised her eyes to meet his. They were smiling at her, gentle and kind.

"I'm listening," she said.

Leo sighed, sinking down onto the bed beside her. For a while he stayed silent.

Ruby didn't move, she looked down at her clasped hands, surprised when Leo reached out and placed one of his hands over hers.

"I'm sorry."

Ruby looked up. Leo seemed to be struggling with something.

"For what?"

"For the way I treated you. For the things I said." He glanced at her neck.

Ruby flinched. "Didn't we already do this?" she asked lightly.

Leo smiled. "It just hit me…last night…Ruby, what you did for Raph…for all of us."

Ruby blushed, knowing what he meant. "It's ok," she muttered feeling embarrassed.

"No, it's not ok. I should never have treated you the way I did. Raph was right. All you did was try to help and I just didn't like the way it was done."

"Leo…really, we've done this…"

Leo cut her off impatiently. "Anything could have happened to you Ruby. You risked your own freedom for my brother."

"Except I'm not the one who's dead." Ruby said sadly, feeling quilt twist inside her.

"Raph saw you try to save him."

Ruby looked up. "He doesn't hate me?"

Leo let out a bark of laughter. "Hate you? I don't think I've ever seen my brother more afraid than he was when he thought something was going to happen to you."

"I was going through pretty much the same thing when I first saw that test tube."

"You love him?" Leo asked.

Ruby was quiet for a moment. With everything that had been happening she hadn't really had the time to figure out what she was feeling. But she knew one thing. She had jumped headlong into danger to save Raphael, not once, but twice. She'd found the strength to finally be free from Sean and she'd found it in Raph's amber eyes. When she had known she was going to die, her only thought had been for Raphael. He'd been there from the start.

Ruby sighed. What was the point of denying it anymore? She nodded her head slowly.

"Yes. I love him."


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Mikell, you are a star. Thankyou for beta-ing and letting me bounce ideas off you. Cindy, Mel, Polaris, Brainfear, you girls rock as always. Thankyou for your patience and support. To all my ninja readers. Thankyou for sticking by the story. Hope you're all still enjoying it. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any charecters from TMNT.**

"How're you feeling?"

Ruby jumped, nearly dropping her cup of coffee.

"You shouldn't sneak up on people like that," she grumbled, blushing deeply as she spotted Raph leaning against the doorframe, arms folded in front of him, watching her intently.

"You weren't in bed." Raph sounded worried.

Ruby shrugged. "Couldn't sleep anymore."

"Ya had a shock. Ya should be restin'."

"Resting isn't gonna bring Sean back, Raph."

Raphael took a step toward her, frowning as she stepped back. "It weren't your fault."

"Yes, it was."

"What happened, Ruby? Why'd ya go back there?"

Ruby looked at him. She desperately wanted to feel his arms round her, cry on his shoulder. But she was afraid. Now she had admitted to Leonardo how she felt about him. Raphael suddenly seemed even more breathtaking and unbearably unattainable to her.

She sighed, turning away from him. "Want some coffee?"

Raph didn't answer. Ruby kept her back to him, closing her eyes against the tears that threatened to fall. She loved him. How could she tell him when she knew all he felt for her was pity?

Ruby jumped when she felt Raph's arms come round her waist, turning her to face him.

Raph cupped her chin in his fingers forcing her to look at him. His eyes were worried and…hurt?

"Talk to me." He whispered gently, placing his hands on the counter top on either side of her, trapping her in their circle.

Ruby couldn't bear him being so close. It physically hurt her to know she could never have him. The tears she struggled to hide started rolling down her cheeks. "I called Sean." She admitted, her voice barely a whisper.

She heard his sharp intake of breath and quickly ducked her head to avoid having to meet his eyes.

"I…needed to see him."

"Why tha hell would ya need to see that guy?" Raph growled.

Ruby flinched at the harsh tone. "I owed it to him…after…"

Ruby felt Raph stiffen and hastily went on, unwilling to let him know how much that night had meant to her.

"He was my husband. I needed to see him to…discuss some things but he…"

Her face was turned abruptly upwards. There was no mistaking the hurt in Raphael's eyes now.

"You owed him shit! Why would ya do it? Why would ya stick yourself in that kinda position. You know what he was like, what he did to me and you!"

"I'm not an idiot, Raphael." Ruby retorted sharply. "I didn't meet him in some secluded ally. I met him in the park."

"Why?"

"I told you. I needed to discuss some things with him."

"What things?"

Ruby squirmed uncomfortably. "Raph, please."

"Ya put yourself in danger an' you ain't even gonna tell me why?"

"I wasn't the one in danger."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Leave it, Raph," Ruby sighed. "It's not important."

Ruby heard the snarl, felt him move away from her.

"After what happened between us…"

Ruby flinched.

"…an' the first person you run to is him!"

"I wasn't running to him!"

"Then what the hell where ya doin'?"

Ruby snapped. Tired and aching, she couldn't handle getting the third degree from Raph. Not after everything. It hurt too much seeing the disgust in his eyes.

"I wanted a divorce, Raph. You got that? I wanted him to set me free!"

Raph froze. "If all ya wanted was a divorce then why'd ya end up goin' home with him?"

"Just forget it. It doesn't matter."

"The hell it don't! You nearly get yourself killed and you're telling' me it don't matter? What ain't ya telling' me?"

Ruby tried to turn away from him. How could she tell him her reasons? He'd know how she felt and probably hate her for being weak enough to fall in love with him. Or worse, he'd be embarrassed for her and pity her. She couldn't bear that.

She jutted out her chin, gathering the remaining strength she had. "Whatever my reasons were, they're nothing to do with you."

For a long time, Raph just stood scowling at her, then without saying a word, he turned on his heel and left the kitchen.

Ruby stood alone, tears still rolling down her cheeks. _I'm sorry, Raph. I'm sorry for falling in love with you. You've been kind to me and I was a fool. I allowed myself to be happy._

Grabbing her coffee, she headed out the kitchen.

"You should be in bed."

"Thanks, Leo." Ruby scowled at him. "You're the second one to tell me that."

Leo looked at her, a worried frown on his face. "Is everything ok?"

"Sure. Everything's fine."

Leo cocked his head. "How many is that?" He asked, nodding at the cup in her hand.

Ruby flushed. "Third one."

"So I'm guessing you didn't tell Raph then." Leo said dryly.

Ruby shook her head. She heard Leo sigh and grasp her arm, pulling her back to the kitchen.

"Ready for your fourth cup?"

* * *

Raph paced his room restlessly. What the hell had happened down there? What was she hiding? He couldn't figure any of it out and it was driving him crazy. _What the hell ain't ya telling' me, Ruby? Why'd ya go back with him, after what happened between us._

Raph sighed, sitting down on his bed. He rubbed a weary hand over his eyes. He'd been to hell and back in the last twenty-four hours. Maybe he should have been more patient with her, but hearing her talk about Sean the way she was…it hurt him. After that night, he'd thought maybe, she might feel the same way. Something in the way, Ruby had touched him, looked at him.

Raph swore as he felt the bottom of his plastron tighten uncomfortably at the memory of that night. She hadn't even been able to bring herself to say it had happened. What did that mean? Did she regret what happened between them?

Throwing himself down on his bed, he buried his head in his pillow and let out a frustrated growl. _I love you, Ruby._

Raph felt his throat constrict as he remembered the fear of waking up and finding her gone. The relief of finding her safe and alive and the goddamn hurt of hearing her tell him she still thought of Sean as her husband. But…she'd said she'd asked him for a divorce? Why would she have gone back with him then? None of it made any sense.

Already, Raph was regretting not pulling her into his arms and kissing her senseless, but judging from the way she refused to mention what had happened between them, he wasn't sure she would have let him.

There was a knock on the door and for a moment, Raph was tempted to tell whoever it was to go away. He knew that would raise even more questions, so instead he grunted an abrupt, "Yeah!"

Mikey grinned sheepishly, poking his head round the door. "Sorry, dude. Just wanted to see how you were."

"I'm fine, Mikey." Raph replied, softening slightly at the sight of his baby brother.

Mikey stood shuffling his feet for a moment, looking suspiciously sheepish.

"What did ya do, Mike?"

"Erm…I heard you guys fighting just now and…"

"We weren't fightin', Bro."

"Maybe…"

Raph was starting to feel annoyed. "Spit it out, Mikey!"

"Well…it's not a big secret, Bro."

"What ain't?"

"You know…what's going on with you."

Raphael's jaw dropped. Mikey knew? Did they all know?

"What's your point?" Raph scowled.

Mikey shrugged. "She's been through a lot, dude. Especially in the last day. Maybe you need to just get over yourself and tell her how you feel."

Raph gaped at him. _Tell Ruby how I feel?_

"It ain't an option, Bro."

"Why not?"

Raph was silent for a moment. Finally he sighed, "She don't feel the same way."

Mikey looked at him strangely. After a while he shrugged his shoulders. "Whatever, dude. If you call risking her own life and her freedom to save your shell, not feeling the same way, then that's up to you."

"What are you on about?"

"Maybe you should ask, Leo." Mikey said, turning to leave.

Raphael was off the bed and beside him in a shot. "I'm askin' you, Mike."

Mikey was silent again, before pulling something from his belt. He handed it to Raph.

"What's that?"

"That's your answer, dude."

Raphael looked down at the sheet of paper in his hand. His eyes widened as he read the scribbled hand writing.

"Where'd you get this?"

"Weren't me, Bro. Ruby got it. Along with all of these."

Mikey disappeared before Raph could stop him, returning moments later carrying a cardboard box. He placed it on Raph's bed.

Raph was confused. "I don't get it."

"Didn't think you would. Leo told us what Ruby did, you know, for you."

"Why didn't he tell me?" Raph felt his anger rise.

"You weren't listening. You were too busy beating the crap out of your punching bag to pay attention to anything anyone was saying."

Feeling vaguely stunned, Raph opened the box, staring down at the corked test tubes and Petri dishes.

"I don't…" he wasn't sure what to say.

"Don't sweat it, Raphie. You'll figure it out. You're just slower than the rest of us. Take your time though." Mikey grinned, bouncing out the room.

* * *

Donatello searched his lab frantically. He was sure he'd put the box here last night, intending to destroy it, but with everything that had happened, he'd got sidetracked and now it had gone.

"Where the hell is it?" Donny muttered, crawling under the table.

"Lookin' for something, Don?" A growl came from behind him.

Don jumped, startled and banged his head on the underside of the table.

"Raph!" Donny emerged rubbing his head. "What are you doing here?"

"Wonderin' why none of my bros thought it was important to tell me about this!"

Raph dumped the box on Don's table and stood back, glaring.

Donny breathed a sigh of relief. "I wanted to destroy those."

"Before telling' me?"

"We tried last night, Raph, but you weren't in any mood to listen."

"Guess you didn't try very hard then." Raph replied, still glaring.

"Raph…" Don sighed. "What would we have said?"

Raphael rubbed a weary hand across his eyes. Come to think of it, Donny didn't think he'd ever seen his brother look so tormented.

"I'm havin' a hard time gettin' my head round this, Bro."

Don smiled, approaching his brother. "I'm going to destroy these. Wouldn't want to risk them falling into anyone else's hands."

He took the box out of his brother's hands.

"Why would she do it?" Raph asked suddenly. There was an odd note to his voice that startled Donatello.

"You'd have to ask her, Bro, but I'd have thought it was a fairly easy guess."

Raphael said nothing as Don set to work destroying the items in the box. Don couldn't suppress a shudder as he looked down at all the samples of his own brother.

A rare feeling rose up in the purple-banded turtle. Disgust and anger, and the knowledge that if Sean hadn't already been dead he would have finished the job himself. If Leo didn't beat him to it.

Donatello heard his brother sigh behind him.

"You ok, Raph?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine, just…this is new, Donny. All of this."

Don was grateful his back was still turned toward Raph. He wasn't sure his brother would have appreciated the grin that curled his mouth. It was probably as close as Raphael would ever come to admitting, in words, how he felt about Ruby.

"You'll figure it out, Raph. Take your time. I'd say it's fairly obvious how she feels, so really, Bro…how often does something like this happen to us? We've spent most of our lives believing it never would."

"Exactly. So what the hell am I supposed to do now? What if I'm wrong?"

Don shrugged his shoulders, keeping his back turned to Raph.

"Only one way to find out, Bro."

* * *

Leo stared at the TV. He could hardly believe his eyes. It had been forty-eight hours. How had they found him so quickly?

"**Dr Harris was found earlier today after he failed to show up for appointments. The matter raised concern as Dr Harris was notorious for being on time."**

Leonardo heard a gasp behind him and turned, finding Ruby staring at the screen with dazed eyes. Quickly he tried to change the channel.

"No." Ruby's voice was stunned. "Please, leave it."

Against his better judgement, Leo left the report playing. Ruby came to sit beside him, her eyes never leaving the screen.

"**After police officials were forced to break the door down, they found the Doctor lying at the bottom of the stairs; his neck broken. There is no indication of foul play, however some rather startling events have emerged since reports of the Doctor's demise were released earlier this evening."**

Leo reached out, placing a calming hand on Ruby's shoulder as he saw the young woman start to shake.

"**Several patients of Doctor Harris have stepped forward, admitting to being abused while in the Doctor's care. Friends of the family have also stepped forward, claiming they were aware the Doctor was abusing his wife and were too afraid to report the matter. The Doctor's wife, Mrs. Ruby Harris was reported missing by the Doctor, two weeks previous. As yet, her whereabouts are still unknown."**

"What the fuck!"

Leo turned at the explosive curse behind them, but Ruby didn't move, her hands were clenched tightly into fists.

"They knew. They didn't do a thing. I thought it was me. I thought they couldn't look at me because of my face."

Raph was by Ruby's side in an instant. Leo nodded briefly when his brother glanced at him, looking for support.

"**Police officials have now urged anyone who has any clues as to the whereabouts of Mrs. Harris to please come forward. It is rumoured they fear something may have happened to the young lady. So far, police are calling the incident an accidental death. No further comments have been made. In other news…"**

Leonardo looked at his brother. Raph was kneeling in front of Ruby, looking into her face. She stared blankly past him.

"They think I'm dead."

"Ruby, they didn't say that."

"They didn't have to, Raph."

"So what ya gonna do?"

"I'm going to go and tell them what happened."

Leo flinched at his brother's expletive.

"Are ya crazy? You're gonna just walk in there and tell them?"

"I don't have any other choice."

"You can stay here. We'll take care of ya. Ruby…I…"

Leonardo started to feel uncomfortable. He felt he was intruding on a private conversation, but he couldn't just leave his brother. He'd never seen the furious turtle look as conflicted as he was looking right now.

"Are you sure about this?" Leo urged Ruby to look at him. She turned her face to his, a determined expression lurking in her eyes.

"It's the only way I'll ever be free of him."

Leo looked at her for a long while, before finally nodding his head. "We'll go with you."

"No!" Ruby looked horrified by the suggestion. "Please, this is something I have to do on my own."

Leo exchanged glances with Raph, easily reading the look in his brother's eyes. Raphael didn't like it. Sighing deeply, he turned back to Ruby. _Forgive me, Raph._

"Ok. Just be careful and…come home soon."


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Mikell, I owe you big time for this chapter. You beta'd and tweaked and helped me get it just right. You are a star. Cindy, Mel, Polaris, you girls are my courage and guidance when I doubt. Thanks for all your support. Brainfear, sweetie, there's a scene in here that goes out to you ;-) Hope you enjoy it and sorry it's not longer :-p To all my readers. A huge thankyou for still reading and hope you're still enjoying it. Always happy to hear from any of you, so don't be shy ;-)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from TMNT nor do I make any profit from this fic.**

**Warning: Only a short scene, but if you're not a fan of turtle/human pairings, I would advise to skip a scene in this chapter.**

"I don't like it." Raph growled, watching as Ruby picked up her photo.

"I know you don't, but this is something I have to do."

"Why? You could stay here, they'd never find you."

Ruby looked at him, a faint smile crossing her lips. "You mean hide out like a criminal?"

"That ain't what I said."

"You didn't have to."

Raphael sighed, coming to sit beside her. "I know you didn't do anythin' wrong. But I ain't sure they'll see that."

"I'm a big girl. I'm not your problem."

"Maybe I want ya to be." Raph muttered quietly.

Ruby was silent. He refused to look up. He needed to get through this. There were some things he had to say and if he looked at her, he might not be able to.

"You wouldn't want me intruding on your life, Raph."

"What the hell are ya on about?" Raph's head snapped up. There was a sad expression lurking in Ruby's eyes and something else. Something, Raph couldn't quite place.

"You've been kind to me. Something I haven't had in a long time. I appreciate everything you've done, truly I do."

Raph swore his heart stopped beating. This was it, she was letting him down gently. He heard Ruby sigh, reaching out to take his hand in hers.

"I screwed up, Raphael. I ruined everything."

"Ya didn't do nothin' wrong."

Ruby tilted his head up and looked at him strangely. "Oh, I did. You showed me sympathy and kindness and I…"

Raph growled, pulling away from her. "I never felt sorry for ya. Not ever."

"Raphael…that night…you and me. I want you to know…it meant something to me. Maybe more than it should have."

Raph froze. _More than it should? What the hell's that supposed to mean?_

"Forget it." Raph shrugged. "Ya needed someone to be there. I get that."

Ruby nodded almost sadly. "Yeah and thank you for being there."

"Ya didn't think I'd let anyone else be there for you did ya?"

"It could never have been anyone but you." Ruby smiled gently.

Raph felt his bruised heart shatter further. She'd never know how much it had meant to him.

"Listen, I wanted to say thanks for what ya did. I know why ya went with him."

Ruby stiffened.

"How do you know?" Her voice was quiet.

"Mikey told me. He said ya risked yourself for me again. Ya should have been able to be a doctor, Ruby. Always savin' lives. I'm sorry it never worked for ya."

Ruby stood up and started pacing. "I don't deserve to be a doctor, Raph. Two people are dead because of me."

Raphael looked at her.

"Ruby, that guy…he deserved it, after what he did to ya."

"And did she?"

"Who?"

Ruby sighed again, running a hand wearily across her brow. "You remember that girl I told you about? The one I saw him sleep with and inject with drugs."

Raph nodded."Ya tried to save her."

Ruby nodded. "And I failed. That's why I can't be a doctor, Raph. Doctors save lives. They don't stand back and watch while another person dies."

"Ya did everythin' ya could."

Ruby carried on as though she hadn't heard him. "You were the only other person he ever took back there. I couldn't let the same thing happen to you. I couldn't just stand by and watch you suffer."

Raph frowned. He already knew all this. He couldn't understand what she was getting at. She tried to save the girl.

"You think I'm strong. I'm not. I was afraid. Sean had set everything up to make sure I'd take the fall if I did. Then I met you and realized you'd never have hesitated to go to the police, even if it cost you your freedom."

Raphael was starting to understand. Everything she'd done, she'd done to make up for her mistake. She believed she'd acted out of cowardice and by saving him, she could make amends.

"Maybe ya should have gone, but ya didn't and if ya had…I'd be dead now."

Ruby nodded. "And maybe not just you. I don't know how many Sean would have killed. Me being there, I guess it stopped him."

Raph started to shake. He'd been a way to ease her guilty conscience. Nothing more. "Ya going now?"

"In the morning. First thing. The least I owe her is to let her be put to rest the way she should have been."

Raphael made the mistake of looking at her face. She looked haunted and lost. Without meaning to, he stepped forward, pulling her into his arms.

"Ya need to forgive yourself," he muttered softly against her hair.

"I can't," Ruby replied, her voice shaking.

Raph could feel his shoulder grow wet from the tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I swore I'd never make another mistake after that and…then I met you and made the biggest mistake of all."

Raphael eased slightly away from her, looking down into her tear stained face. "Ya didn't make any mistakes with me."

"You don't think falling in love with you was a mistake?" Ruby's voice was barely a whisper.

Raph's body stiffened. His eyes widening as he stared down at her. "Ya what?"

Ruby pulled herself free from his embrace but he barely noticed. Her words had shocked him to the core. It was too much information to process in such a short space of time.

"I fell in love with you. I…was touched by your kindness and care. For a while I thought that's all it was, but when Sean showed me that test tube." She lifted her head to look him straight in the eyes. "There's nothing I wouldn't have done to keep you safe. If anything happened to you…"

Raphael snapped. He reached out for her again and hauled her up against his plastron. "No more talkin'," he muttered fiercely, bringing his mouth down on hers. "Ya never made any mistake, an' if ya did…I made the same one."

Raph heard Ruby's soft gasp melt into his mouth and stifled a groan as he felt her body respond eagerly. One night, his brain told him. They'd both been through enough. They deserved one night, free from torment and pain. They deserved to be together. In the morning, Ruby would go to the police and face whatever consequences would come. Raph would deal with that then. Right now, he needed her and wasn't about to let her go.

Gently he pushed her back down onto the bed, pulling away from her only long enough to remove her sweater. His eyes traveled down her body, drinking in the sight of her.

Ruby wound her arms tightly round his neck, her mouth opening to welcome his tongue. Her clothes were virtually ripped from her body as Raph gave in to the emotions pounding through his veins. He slipped free from his confines with a groan, his breath catching as Ruby's hand instantly encircled him.

His mouth traveled over the length of her body, pride piercing through him as she gasped and arched toward him. Her hands moved freely over his body, caressing and teasing, driving him nearly insane.

Raphael couldn't contain himself any longer. He looked down at her and saw the longing in her eyes. With one powerful thrust he claimed her. His heart pounded fiercely behind his plastron, his skin quickly slick with sweat as he thrust into her growing desperation. He couldn't lose her. He needed her.

"Look at me," he said, turning her face towards him. As her eyes locked with his, he gulped, feeling himself nearing his climax. "I love you," he muttered almost angrily, not giving her time to respond as his mouth slanted over hers again. His final thrust driving them both over the edge.

Raph heard Ruby call his name, clinging tightly to him. Slowly, he eased himself off her, wrapping his arm tightly round her waist, fighting to gather his scattered senses. He looked in amazement at her face. That same look caressed her features, filling him with an almost unbearable ache.

"I love you," he muttered again, turning her toward him. Ruby looked at him, a stunned expression in her eyes. Then she smiled.

"I love you too."

* * *

Raphael sat up with a shot, growling under his breath. She'd gone again. This was getting to be an annoying habit of hers. Maybe tying her up wasn't such a bad idea after all.

Ignoring the stab of pain and panic that rushed through him, Raph swung his legs over the side of the bed. The door to his room opened and he had to stop himself from heaving a sigh of relief as Ruby walked in.

"You're still here," he growled.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Don't matter."

Raphael flushed as he saw realization dawn on Ruby's face.

"I'm sorry for last time, I…needed to sort some things out."

"I know, just…don't keep doin' that. I'd like to wake up with ya at least once."

Ruby smiled, handing him a cup of coffee. "Who knows? Maybe you will."

Raphael put the cup down, taking hers out of her hands. He pulled her close into his arms, his face resting in her hair.

"No regrets?" he muttered into her hair.

"Never."

He pulled away slightly, cupping her face in his hands and catching her lips in a slow, lingering kiss.

"I meant it ya know. I love you," he said looking her directly in the eye. "I ain't just gonna let ya go."

Ruby smiled, wrapping her arms round him. "As hard a time as I'm having accepting that this isn't a dream. I love you too and I'm not going anywhere. Not if I can help it."

"Ya still sure ya wanna go through with this?"

Ruby stiffened. "No," she admitted softly. "But I'm going to go through with this."

* * *

The occupants inside the Battle Shell sat watching the police station tensely.

"It's been four hours." Mikey said quietly.

"Well…these things usually take time." Don replied soothingly.

"You sure she's gonna be ok?"

"She'd better be!" Raph growled from the back. "I'll break her out if I have to!"

"She'll be fine, Raph." Leo sighed. "We'll give her another hour, then maybe go back to the lair. If we stay out here much longer we're going to start arousing suspicion."

"Don't worry. Anyone passing this alley won't even think twice about someone being parked here. They'll probably think we work in the warehouse." Donny said. Suddenly he tensed.

"Guys, get down!" Leo urged, ducking round the back of the Battle Shell.

They heard a tap on the door and tensed.

"It's me."

Raph darted to open the doors, letting Ruby in. They crowded round her.

"What happened?" Raphael asked.

Ruby sighed deeply. "There's going to be an inquest. I need to come back later."

"Are ya ok?"

Ruby smiled into Raph's worried face. "I will be."

"Did they say anything about charging you?" Leo asked looking equally worried.

Ruby shrugged. "No, they didn't, but…they were sympathetic." Her face looked pained as she leaned her head on Raph's shoulder.

"Her parents are being called in," she whispered.

Raphael pulled her close, resting his head on hers. "It's gonna be ok, babe. I promise ya."

* * *

"It's been a week." Mikey grumbled to Don as the purple-banded turtle tinkered in the lab.

Donatello sighed, lowering his tools. "It's gonna be ok, Mikey."

"How do you know that? She hasn't heard a thing from those D.A people."

"She will, just…give it time."

"But why are they even investigating this? I mean, it was an accident, right?"

"Of course it was, Mikey, but…they need to be sure and what with this other girl, they're going to have to cover all the steps."

"But she didn't do that!" Mikey sounded indignant.

Don smiled. "I know that, you know that, Raph and Leo know that. But she was there and even though we know she did everything she could, they don't."

"What are you two talking about?" Leo emerged in the doorway, his arms folded in front of him. His face looked pale and there were circles under his eyes. Like all of them, Donatello suspected, Leo hadn't been sleeping much.

"Ruby's inquest." Don said.

Leo sighed. "I hope it's soon. I'm not sure how much more of this, Raph can take, or Ruby for that matter."

"They have each other now, Leo." Don reassured him.

"Bout time too." Mikey said.

"Ya done?" A low voice growled behind them.

The brothers turned guiltily to Raph.

"Everything ok, Bro?" Leo asked.

Raphael's face was pale. His mouth pressed into a tight line. "They just called. Ruby's gotta go to the inquest at two this afternoon."

* * *

"Ruby sighed deeply, stepping out into the afternoon sun. Her face was stained with tears. Re-living the events of that night had been more difficult than she'd anticipated. Of course she should also have expected the accusatory glares she got from the girl's parents.

Ruby heaved suddenly, willing herself to not throw up. She felt physically and emotionally drained.

"Excuse me."

Ruby turned wearily, stiffening as she recognized the man in front of her. He looked at her strangely, his eyes focusing on her face and neck. Ruby ducked her head instinctively.

"I'm sorry," she muttered, more out of habit than anything else.

She heard the man sigh deeply. "Sorry won't bring my daughter back. For months we've prayed she would come home and be safe."

"I wish I could have done more."

The man turned to look round him. "It's done now and at least we have our answers. Thanks to you, we can finally put our daughter to rest and try to move forward from here."

_Thanks to me?_ Ruby gaped at him. "Forgive me, but because of me, your daughter has spent too long away from you. I should have spoken up sooner."

He smiled sadly at her. "The police tell us you tried to save her. The M.E's findings have corroborated that. While I wish you would have spoken up sooner. I can see why you didn't. I…would like to thank you for trying to save my daughter and for speaking up now. Perhaps, in time, we can find a way to deal with what has happened."

The distraught lady Ruby had seen earlier, stepped out of the station. Her eyes fell on Ruby and she approached quickly, her eyes wide.

"Why?"

Ruby gulped.

"Why did he do it?"

Ruby looked sadly at the woman. She clearly loved her daughter very much. Ruby owed her the truth, but she wished the reality wasn't so harsh.

"I wish I could give you any number of reasons to help you make sense of this. But the truth is…he did it because he could."

The lady stared, tears rolling down her cheeks. "She was my baby and you left her to rot in the ground."

Ruby flinched at the harsh words, knowing she deserved them.

The lady shot her a look of pure disgust before turning to walk to the station wagon.

"I apologize." The man muttered beside Ruby. "She isn't taking the news very well."

"As is to be expected. She's right. I should have done more."

"Are you a doctor?"

Ruby looked up in surprise. "At one time, I'd hoped to be, but circumstances have made it so it can never be."

"That's a shame." He turned to Ruby and she was surprised to see he had a sad smile on his face.

"You were forced to look on as my daughter died. You tried to save her knowing you could well be putting yourself at risk. I think this world might benefit from more doctors who are willing to go above and beyond the call of duty to save their patients."

Ruby could do nothing more than stare as the man squeezed her shoulder gently, before turning to join his wife.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Well guys, here it is. We've reached the end of the story. Once again a huge thankyou to Mikell for betaing and your eternal patience. I don't know how you do it :-) Cindy, Mel, Polaris, Brainfear, what can I say you guys. You've been with me since the start and your ongoing loyalty and friendship has been amazing. You girls rock. Polaris, you won't be here for the epilogue, so I'm going to say it all now. It's the end of the story, but only the start of a wonderful friendship. I love you girl, you know that. Thankyou for your support and encouragement throughout this story. See you soon**** and remember these words, 'where there's a pickle, a ninja turtle is never far behind' ;-) To all my loyal ninja readers, thank you for hanging in there. Only one more chapter left :-)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from TMNT nor do I make any profit from this fic.**

**Warning: For those of you with weak stomaches, proceed with caution. Nothing but out and out, romantic cheese in this chapter so might not be a bad idea to have a bucket near you while reading ;-) For those of you who can take it, please all stand and applaud :-D They made it guys WOOP *standing ovation* Who'da thunk it ;-) Enjoy and see you soon for the epilogue. **

"What happened?" Raph asked, darting forward as Ruby entered the lair.

She knew her face was still streaked with tears and she felt vulnerable after relieving the events of that night.

Ruby managed to smile at Raph. "I need a cup of coffee."

"I'll get it," Mikey said, rushing out to the kitchen.

"Please, sit down," Splinter said, offering Ruby his arm.

Ruby took it gratefully. She sat on the couch with a weary sigh, smiling as Raph instantly sat beside her.

Mikey returned with the coffee and handed it to Ruby. She took a sip and leaned into Raph. He put his arm round her, pulling her closer.

"Is everything ok?" Leo asked, sounding worried.

Ruby's chest tightened as the D.A's words echoed through her mind.

"The case is closed," she said quietly. "After interviewing the witnesses, they're sticking by their original verdict. Sean's death has been ruled accidental."

Silence greeted this statement. Raph squeezed Ruby tightly.

"What about the girl?" Don asked gently.

Ruby flinched. "After reviewing everything, the judge ruled it an unprosecutable homicide."

"What's that mean?" Mikey asked.

"It means they can't prosecute a dead man, Mikey." Don replied.

"You're not in any trouble are you?" Mikey looked worriedly at Ruby.

Ruby sighed, leaning further into Raph as he started massaging her temple.

"I was lucky. I could have been an accessory after the fact, but…they cleared me of any charges. They took everything into account."

Leo leaned forward, taking one of Ruby's hands in his own. "So that's it. You're finally free."

Ruby smiled at him. "I wish it were that simple. I'm not being charged with anything, but somehow…I can't shake the feeling that I should have done more for her and accidental or not, Sean is dead because of me."

Splinter nodded his head, a smile crossing his features. "Healing takes time, my daughter…"

Ruby looked up in surprise. She felt Raph stiffen behind her and flushed deeply. Splinter seemed unperturbed by the sudden tension.

"…in time and with our support, you will be able to move past what you have suffered."

"Maybe…it might not be a bad idea to take the next step." Don chipped in cautiously.

"What do you mean?" Ruby asked.

Glancing guiltily at Raph, Don reached behind him and pulled out an envelope. "April delivered these while you were out."

Ruby took the brown envelope, opening it carefully. She pulled out several sheets of paper, her eyes widening as she scanned them. She looked round at them.

"What is this?"

There was an awkward pause, before Leo leaned back. "It's your calling," he said.

Ruby's hands started to shake as she read the application forms for her father's college. "I…I'm not sure I can do this."

"Think it over. You don't have to fill them out right now, but…according to, April…they'd love to have you join them. Your father was a very respected man. It would be a shame to let his legacy end." Leo went on.

Ruby felt tears brim in her eyes. She couldn't believe they'd done this. Behind her, she felt Raph resume rubbing her temple. He seemed suddenly deep in though and withdrawn.

"And it would be a way to honour that girl's life." Don said quietly. "You owe it to yourself, Ruby and you owe it to others."

"I…may I think about this?" Ruby looked across at Splinter, who smiled again, rising from his seat. He came and stood behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Take as much time as you need, my daughter."

* * *

"You ok, Bro?" Leo asked, walking up behind Raph who stood staring at his punching bag.

"Thinkin'."

"Don't hurt yourself."

Raphael turned to face his brother. He ignored the smile on Leo's face. His mind was preoccupied. "_My daughter."_

The words echoed through his mind, refusing to let him go. Was he ready to take the next step? Was she ready, or would she laugh at him? There was a big difference between admitting she loved him and agreeing to spend the rest of her life with him, or even wanting to.

It had been several hours since Ruby had returned and already Raph had started avoiding her. He needed time to think. He loved Ruby and couldn't bear the thought of losing her, but did he want her to become a member of his family in name as well as emotion?

"Where's, Ruby?" Raph asked.

"She was in the lab with Don." Leo replied, looking at him. "You sure everything's ok?"

"Sure, Leo. Everythin's fine."

"Ok. Well, I'm gonna pop out for patrol seeing as it's starting to get dark. You wanna come?"

Raphael's face lit up. Did he? "What ya waitin' for, Fearless." He was already half way out of the Lair.

Leo chuckled. "Wait up."

* * *

"So…you wanna tell me what's on your mind?" Leo asked later as the two brothers crouched low on the rooftop.

"What makes ya think I got anythin' on my mind?"

"Usually when we patrol you're a lot more enthusiastic to kick some serious shell. We've had to break up two fights already and you didn't even bat an eye."

Raph sighed. Leo had a point. He usually felt the adrenalin pumping through his body. Tonight his mind seemed focused entirely on Ruby. Could he even talk to Leo about what he'd been thinking? Or would his brother just laugh at him?

Raph growled. Everything had been fine. For once in his life he'd actually been happy, then with two words suddenly he'd felt right back to where he was before. Not understanding anything. He was a mutant turtle. How could he ask Ruby to give up her life on the surface world and live hidden in darkness in a sewer?

Raphael felt Leo nudge him.

"This about, Ruby?"

Raph snorted. "How'd ya guess?"

"You're my brother." Leo shrugged.

Raph sighed. "How'd ya know if your ready for something', Bro?"

"Ready for what?"

Raph scowled. This wasn't easy. "Me an' Ruby. We got somethin' good between us. I don't wanna screw it up."

"What makes you think you will?"

"Just, things I been thinkin'."

Leo looked confused. "I'm not sure I understand."

"Just forget it, Leo. It don't matter."

"No, wait. If it's making you lose your focus then it matters."

"I ain't gonna let the team down, Leo." Raph scowled at his brother.

"I never said you were. But something's bothering you."

"What Splinter said," Raph muttered. "I don't know if I'm ready, or if she'd want to, or if what we have means she'd wanna be with me like that."

Realization was slowly dawning on Leo's face. He sighed, motioning, Raph to sit. "We've always thought we'd only have each other. It never dawned on any of us that we might face certain situations that humans do. We're not normal, Raph, but we try to live as normal a life as we can, given the circumstances."

"I ain't even sure if I'm ready, Bro. I don't exactly have previous experience in matters like this."

Leo looked at him strangely. "We've met human girls before."

"So?"

"So what makes Ruby different?"

Raph's hands curled by his side. "She just is, Leo. I can't explain it. She's just…when I'm with her, I'm happy. I feel normal an' the fact that I ain't, that don't matter. She makes all that go away an' I can be happy with who I am an' who my Bros are. It's ok not bein' perfect or screwin' up cause I know that don't matter to her. For some reason, she loves me an' I don't even know what I did to deserve her."

Leo chuckled softly. "Quite a speech there, Raph."

Raphael flushed, growling under his breath. "Little support while I'm barin' my soul here, Bro."

"Maybe what you're afraid of is being happy. This is you, Raph. You've always struggled the hardest against your humanity. Taking that step…it would make you face that humanity even more than you already have done."

"Pretty insightful, Leo." Raph sighed.

"Maybe you shouldn't think so much. You'll always be afraid to lose what you have. That's something we all share. We fear losing everything in our lives that's normal and makes sense. But…for what it's worth…if I'm ever lucky enough to be in your position…I wouldn't let it go."

"All or nothin'. That's always been the kinda guy ya are, Leo. 'xcept, I ain't like ya."

"We're more alike than you think." Leo placed a hand, on Raph's shoulder. "There's only one question you really need to ask yourself. Is what you have enough?"

"I think it is for her."

"And what about you?"

Raphael considered this seriously for a moment. He loved her more than he'd ever loved anyone. She brightened his day and gave his strange life a meaning he'd never believed it would have. He loved going to bed with her and waking up to find her still beside him. Was it enough? He'd believed it was, until he'd heard his father's words. Two words that had filled him with an ache.

Ruby hadn't acted any differently since those words had been spoken and it had for some strange reason, hurt him. She had a lot on her mind and was feeling drained, that much he understood, but why wouldn't she have reacted to the words? Why hadn't they had any effect on her?

Splinter had called her his daughter, accepting her as part of the family. Raphael knew she belonged with him. It was really that simple. He loved her and wanted to make her his in every single way.

* * *

Raphael stood in the bedroom, looking down at the ring in his hand. He seemed to have spent most of the past week staring at the damn thing. He needed the perfect time, but living in a sewer with four other mutants, finding some alone time was difficult.

"So, are you going to tell me why you've been avoiding me the past week?"

Raph jumped, turning to find Ruby behind him, her arms folded in front of her. His breath caught in his throat as he stared at her. _Hell, she's way outta my league. How'd I get so damn lucky anyway?_

"Ya shouldn't sneak up on people," he muttered, quickly hiding the ring.

Ruby sighed, coming closer. She placed a hand on his arm, drawing back when he stiffened. A hurt look flashed across her face.

"Your stitches are ready to come out. I can get Don to do that for you," she said, ducking her head.

Raph swore silently. _Nice goin' ya bonehead._ He watched Ruby turn away, pausing by the door.

"Did I do something wrong?" She asked softly, her back still turned to him.

Raphael sighed, rubbing his head. _Damn this is hard. _

He'd seen how people proposed, they just dropped down on one knee and got it over with, but somehow, now she stood in close proximity to him, words failed him completely.

"Ya didn't do nothin' wrong."

Ruby nodded, her hand reaching for the door. Raph panicked.

"Marry me." The words came out as a hoarse whisper and for a moment, he didn't think she'd heard him.

She turned slowly to face him, her eyes wide. "What did you say?" she whispered.

Raphael suddenly found his voice. He moved toward her, grabbing her hands in his. "I love you, Ruby. I ain't never loved anyone as much as I love you. Ya don't have to answer now. Ya can take all the time ya need, but I need ya to know…I love you and wanna marry ya."

Ruby's jaw dropped. She stared at him, unreadable emotions flitting across her face. "One more time?"

Raphael smiled. He pulled Ruby's, mother's engagement ring out from his belt and got down on one knee. "I love you, Ruby. Would ya do me the honour of being my wife?"

Ruby looked from him to her mother's ring and back to him. Her face still displayed nothing but shock.

"Is this why you've been avoiding me?"

"I weren't avoidin' ya. Just, lookin' for the right time."

Ruby bent down beside him. "You want to marry me?"

"More than anythin'. Ya don't have to answer now, Ruby. I know it's soon, maybe too soon, but…I needed ya to know…I wanna go the distance with ya. I want ya in my life, every day, know yer there. Ya can go topside as often as ya want. Hell if yer gonna go to that college, yer gonna have to. I…just want ya to come home to me."

Ruby cocked her head. "I'd come home to you even if we weren't married."

Raph sighed, he was starting to feel foolish. "I know what ya went through. I just…want ya to be mine in every way. I get that ya gonna need time."

"I don't need time." Ruby smiled.

Raphael looked at her. Her face was open, her scars disappearing in that moment as he stared into her beautiful face.

Ruby placed her hands on either side of his face and looked him straight in the eye. "I married once for gratitude and I suffered dearly for it. I swore I'd never marry again, unless I fell so deeply in love that reason and logic no longer made any sense."

Raph gulped. He couldn't understand how humans did this. It had to be one of the hardest things he'd ever done in his life and sitting near her, he was very aware that he'd never needed to hear a positive response more than he did right now.

There was a twinkle in Ruby's eyes as she leaned forward to kiss him.

"The answer's yes, Raphael." She whispered against his mouth. "I would be honoured to be your wife."

Raphael released the breath, he hadn't even been aware he was holding, on a huge sigh. "Thank God for that." He said, pulling Ruby as close as he could and welcoming her kiss eagerly. He slipped the ring on her finger, placing his hands beneath her to lift her from the floor.

"No more talking." Ruby muttered against his mouth.

Raph groaned at the teasing note in her voice. She was insatiable. But then, so was he. They really were, perfectly matched.

He placed her gently on his bed, leaning down over her. "I love you."

"I love you too." Ruby grinned, wrapping her arms round his neck, gasping as his mouth instantly started moving on her throat.

He took his time, relishing each touch, removing her clothes slowly and curving his hand possessively round her. She was here, she was his. That was all that mattered to him.

Ruby arched instinctively toward him as his fingers teased her centre. A soft gasp escaped her lips. Raph's eyes darkened at the look on her face and he growled, positioning himself above her.

Her eyes locked instantly with his as he claimed his prize.

* * *

"Alright Raph!" Mikey yelled in excitement, bounding into the room and waking the sleeping couple.

Raph groaned, glaring at his brother. "You know what time it is, Mikey?"

Mikey grinned. "Time you two love birds were up. I'm guessing she said yes?"

Ruby grinned at him, waving her hand to show him.

"Lemme see." Mikey rushed to the bed and grabbed the young woman's hand.

"Shiny," he said, looking at the ring sparkling on Ruby's finger.

Turning toward the door, he called loudly, "Dudes, she said yes!"

"We figured Mikey." Don said, emerging in the doorway, causing Raph to groan.

"We don't serve breakfast in bed here you know." Donny said sternly. The flicker of amusement dancing in Don's eyes betrayed his excitement at the happy news.

"Give us a minute, Donny. We'll be down soon." Ruby said, yawning and stretching.

Raphael laughed as she flushed, remembering she wasn't wearing anything.

"What are you two doing in here?" An amused voice asked from the doorway.

"She said yes, Leo." Mikey grinned, bouncing up and down.

Leonardo beamed, winking at Ruby. "Welcome to the family. We'll celebrate as soon as you two get downstairs."

Leo looked pointedly at his brothers. "Come on, you two."

Mikey reluctantly followed Donny out the room. Turning one last time, Leo smiled at them both. "Congratulations."

The door closed quietly behind him. Laughing softly, Ruby stretched again, turning to Raph. He was watching her closely, a hint of concern in his eyes as he tried to keep his tone light.

"Still wanna marry me?"

Placing her hands on either side of his face, Ruby leaned in.

"I love you. I love being here, I love your family. I still want to marry you, more than anything. But…there are some things a girl should never have to face before she's had her first cup of coffee." She grinned, a twinkle dancing in her eyes.

Raph chuckled, pressing her gently back down on the bed. He kissed her soundly. "It's gonna have to wait. There's some things a ninja turtle needs, before a cup of coffee."


	24. Epilogue

**A/N: So there you have it. The story has finished. I would like to thank everyone who stuck by the fic. You've all been great. Mikell, I cannot thank you enough for your time, understanding and patience throughout this story. You beta'd, tweaked and inspired. I thank you my friend for your guidance and support. Cindy, you reviewed first and opened doors to me. You followed and stuck by me till the end of this story and beyond. I'm blessed to know you and thank you for all your support and encouragement. Polaris, you've had your thanks in the previous chapter, but just adding on, I posted the epilogue early so you'd be here for the end :-) Mel, I don't think I've ever met anyone as kind and encouraging as you. You've been a star from start to finish, your enthusiasm has get me going through out the fic. Thank you my friend. Brainfear, you've been loyal and reviewed, without fail, each chapter you've read. You've never failed to make me smile with your reviews. Aly, my friend, you pop in and out, but you are always my star and you know it. Your kind words have never failed to make me smile. :-) Storm Seer and Candlelit1, thank you for following the fic and for your kind reviews. It's been a pleasure to hear from you and thank you both for taking the time to add your thoughts :-) Eridani23, again thank you for taking the time to review. To all my readers who alerted and favourited the story. It means a lot you guys. Thanks for hanging in there till the end. Same applies to all the readers who simply stuck with the fic. Thank you. It's the end of this fic but really only the beginning. If any of you would like to read more, you can check my profile for a list of written and upcoming stories. One final time, I the author, stand and applaud you all. Yes, I wrote it, but I could never have done it without my beta, my friends, my reviewers and of course, my readers. Enjoy the final installment :-) **

Ruby looked at her new family. They were sitting around the coffee table. Raphael sat on the couch beside her. Don sat on his knees by the table, tinkering away on something. Leo sat in the armchair across from Don and Mikey as always was sitting to close to the TV, completely absorbed in his morning cartoons.

Splinter as always sat patiently in Lotus position, not far from his eldest son. One eye occasionally opened to observe and smile at his family. His ears twitched with content.

For the first time in her life, since her parents had died, she felt as though she was finally home. Each of them had touched her life in ways she couldn't even have begun to imagine, but none more so than Raphael.

Ruby looked down at her mother's engagement ring, sparkling on her finger. She'd found her prince. _Who would have guessed he'd end up being a giant, talking turtle?_

Ruby found her mind wandering to her family.

Donatello the smart one, always eager to learn more; an insatiable hunger that was never satisfied.

Michelangelo, whose gentle soul knew no bounds. He accepted all without question, always kind and caring. His enthusiasm for life drove everything he did.

Leonardo, the leader, always in control. The big brother protecting his family at any cost. Longing to be able to step back and let someone else lead, but never doing so, choosing instead to take the responsibility for any and all actions. The ever faithful protector.

Raphael, her saviour. A complete mystery. A gentle soul hidden behind a mask of anger. Passionate and driven by emotion, yet at the same time, often confused and afraid by the emotions that drove him. Loyal to a fault, the brother who would readily sacrifice himself in order to save his family and strangers. There was nothing he wouldn't do to save his family. His temper got him and his family in trouble, yet he would always be the first to react, the best way he knew how, when one was in danger.

Splinter, the father, his love and understanding for his children were endless. A ninja master, training his sons to defend and fight, yet at the same time, worrying as any parent would for a day when one child might not come home. Spiritual and deep, his kind soul and never ending patience and willingness to always see the best in people. He was an inspiration to all who new him, stirring them to be all they could be and more.

"You ok?" Raph asked, smiling at her as she leaned closer to him.

"Never been better." Ruby replied with a happy sigh.

Mikey gagged quietly. "You gonna make waffles?" he asked eagerly, turning to look at Ruby.

"Only if you promise not to eat the batter before it's cooked." Ruby scolded.

"Whaaaat?" Mikey sounded indignant.

"She can't cook right now, she has training." Leo reminded him.

Ruby laughed. "Great, just what I need, more bruises."

"The training will help you avoid bruises."

Ruby had to stop herself from saluting.

"Besides, you can't make waffles. I'm…erm…checking the circuitry." Don added sheepishly.

"It's ok," Ruby smiled at him. She turned to Leo. "I'll join you in a minute, there's something I need to do."

Raphael looked at her, a quizzical expression on his face. Ruby leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

"I love you." She whispered, standing up and heading for the kitchen.

"Give her a moment, Raph." Ruby heard Leo say behind her.

She smiled. Out of all of them, she'd told Leo what she was going to do. She'd grown close to the blue-banded turtle. She admired and respected him and knew the feeling was mutual. It was that mutual respect that had allowed her to confide in him, before anyone else.

Ruby sat down at the kitchen table, pulling a brown envelope out from the waistband of her trousers as she did so.

For a moment, all she could do was look down at the papers in her hand. She put them carefully down. Taking a deep breath, she placed the tip of the pen to the top page and wrote her name. Her courage grew as she filled out the rest of the application form.

Her father's college. Her dream of becoming a doctor. It had never seemed more possible and real to her, than right now.

Sometimes all you really needed was just a little faith.


End file.
